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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Horror Scripts  /  Slasher
Posted by: Don, October 6th, 2004, 9:00pm
Slasher by Troy Oates - Horror - Dominic finds his past catching up with him when he and his friends are stalked by somebody intent on killing them all. They know who the killer is, which is impossible because he died years ago… 84 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: Leatherface_TCM (Guest), November 9th, 2004, 8:18pm; Reply: 1
**+
SARAH
"This is Martin. He's my boyfriend and Dominic's father." That should go. You should write as if Sarah was surprised to see Paul enter the room. Her telling him that is just to sudden. Puts thinks like "HOney, waht are you doing here?" or "It's not what it looks like."
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You need to describe the characters more.
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How does Scoot know a lot about Dominic's life and family? You should fix that.
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You really need to seperate the actions into more paragraphs instead of just one big paragraph.
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The deaths are pretty good.
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Good ending. You should read my script, it's called Silent Night. There are two of them, but mine is the one that says Jesse Vela.
Great story. Keep it up!
Posted by: RRRocks, January 25th, 2011, 10:15am; Reply: 2
I know this is a little late but pg2 says Martin has a "shaved head", then on to page 5 Paul grabs Martin by the hair--oops....
Posted by: thechillman, January 27th, 2011, 2:43am; Reply: 3
Thanks mate, I missed that one
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