Among The Dead by Kim Britt - Horror -  Not believing in something won't protect you from it.
A psychiatrist learns this lesson the hard way when several patients deliver the same cryptic message which she refuses to believe.  She can no longer deny her patients’ allegations once the same man from their nightmares begins appearing to her.  On the verge of insanity, her dreams and reality become so interwoven that she cannot tell one from the other.  With two patients dead and a third struggling to survive, she must find a way to save her patient’s life as well as her own. - doc format.

Hi everyone.  As you can see, I'm new here.  I'm really looking forward to getting some feedback on this as well as reading some really great horror sp's and giving feedback as well.

Just a note about the script, the formatting got messed up when I converted it, so please don't hold that against me.  Other than that, I hope you like it.  I'm open to all forms of constructive criticism.

Hey Kim, I''ll give this one a read because it sounds interesting. Expect a little review soon.

Wow, that was a great read.

SPOILERS

First of all, you are down with the format, everything is visual and you describe things well and vivdly.

The beginning had me thinking of yet another ghost story, specially with the dark hair and young girl ghost. I was frightened this was another run-of-the-mill.

Luckily it was not. When it finally got to a good pace, i was really drenched in it, I wanted to know how it ended. "Could they defeat Julian?" "Can they get away?"
I'm glad you choose a darker ending. Devon had to end like that.

Just a few comments and tips.
- Perhaps spice up the beginning a bit. We've all seen the bath-tub ghost girl scene in some incarnation. Perhaps something more fitting to the rest of the film. You dont have to open with a shocker per se.
- Give Julian some more motivation of why Devon was so unbeatable. He could have killed her in ALOT of instances. Just because he likes a challenge doesn't float with me, why did he save her for last, etc.
- More scenes on the street of people with no reflection, perhaps in the last Act.

Another cool thing would be to show Sinclair without a reflection, and Avery not noticing it. Ultimate Irony. Good ender in my opinion.

Thanks for the good read.
Look forward to other works of yours.
Any upcoming projects?

Hypnos, thanks for giving it a read.  I really appreciate your comments.  Finally someone that gets the ending.  I was trying to creative something different.  Although most people like the "happy ending", sometimes it gets frustrating when the characters are up against this enormous "evil" that has been around for hundreds of years and suddenly THEY are the ones that are able to stop it when no one else could.  I wanted my ending to show that not everyone wins in the end, no matter how hard they try.  That may be dark and, as some have put it, depressing, but that's the way it goes.  

Again, thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.  As for other works of mine, this is the only horror I've written thus far.  I have a few rom/coms under my belt and I'm currently working on a horror/comedy, something new for me since I usually don't like that combination.  I'll try and post it when it's done, but I'm guessing it won't be for a while.

I prefer the darker ending in alot of movies, in yours it was well written AND necessary. I would seriously have been pissed if your characters suddenly killed Julian or whatever. It's the way it should have went, that feeling of depressed and desperate. That's exactly what the characters in the beginning felt, that's the feeling the movie enforces, a happy end would destroy that all.

So will you make another draft for this script, not saying you should because its great the way it is, just interested if this is the final product.

Good luck on the Horror/Comedy, hope to read more from you in the future.

Again, thanks for support of the ending.  I'm sure there will be more drafts to follow.  I'll probably keep rewriting it until someone buys it lol.  I've got it out to a few prodcos, so hopefully something good will come of it.

Kim

Kim, I liked your screenplay. You obviously put a lot of effort into it and I liked some of the edit points like the switch from live media interview to TV in Hamilton's office, early on.

My own opinion is that the story works better when I read it in a more psychological thriller light. ie. do vampires exist and is Julian real or is Devon losing her mind through stress, alcohol and drugs? Leave the audience guessing and plant seeds for both options which could also explain why Devon isn't just killed outright. This can also be used as a device to leave dubiety about whether a town is being turned or if it's her own growing paranoia.

The danger is, of course, I'm suggesting something like an existing work like Candyman (as it could have been) or Gothika (not seen it so just an impression).

Thanks for the comments, s.cane.  I intended it to be more of a psychological thriller, but everytime I try to advertise it as such, I'm told "this is a horror story".  Go figure.  I guess as soon as the "vampire" storyline comes out, it's horror in everyone's mind from then on out.  

I've always been more of a fan of horror movies that scare you psychologically as opposed to scary monsters jumping out at you and the accompanying blood and gore.  But that's just me.

Glad you liked it.

Kim, your picture is perfect.  I could imagine

Shit, sorry bout that, any way I could really imagine if this movie was produced and made into a motion picture it would have people shitting in there pants.  This would be one of those movies that every second of watching your just wainting to be scared, I think.  Anyway very good job, your images were very well described, giving your readers a real insight to what you want them to see.  Hats off to you, good job.

This is the first unroduced script that I've read. I've always read produced screenplays, believing they would be the best resource to learn from. I never thought I would acquire such a good example of clear wording, proper formatting, great characterization, and just plain excellent story writing from a script which has not made it, YET.

I really enjoyed how you made this a more suttle vampire story and not your average blood, gore, sucking type. You made it more realistic - that if vampires were real, this is how it would be. I enjoyed the spinetingling scenes you threw, such as ones with the little girl. Those are the things that would scare me when I see them on screen. More than if some beast or slasher jumps out from out of nowhere. I, also, felt the darker ending did justice to the story. You leave the theater with more of a feeling when a movie finishes that way, especially one of this type.

The only suggestion I would make is to tell more of why Devon and Avery broke up in the past. If you did, I apologize for missing it. I must've been too distracted with fright and suspense from the other scenes.

Wow, thanks for the great reviews.  I'm actually in negotiations to have this baby produced, so I hope it all works out.  Thanks again to everyone that took the time to look it over and give me your opinion.  

Really well written. This is one of the best unproduced screenplays that I have read on this site. I really liked the ending too.

Great job. I look foward to reading more of your work.

I'll be one of the first in line to see it if it's made. Great work!

I just read your script and it was amazing! Great plot. You made a vampire movie but you made it so well that it wasn't your normal cliche vampire movie, it was real. It had real characters and real people and it made me care about the characters. I am in high school and aspire to one day be a film director. I have tried many times to write my own screenplays, but when I get an idea, i get ideas in the form of pictures and cuts and edits, not necessarily stories. I know how to create the visual, my problem is just making the story. Like I said, I am a high school student, not a production company or anyone with any kind of money so to speak, but I have a passion, and that passion is filmmaking, and I was wondering if I could have your permission to film this movie. It would be shot on MiniDV (digital film) with a bunch of my close friends and movie buffs. It can't say it would go anywhere, maybe to a local broadcasting channel or entered in a film festival,  but I would make it true to your script, I know I could.  I don't know how far along you have got with the production company, but I had to ask. I have been looking for something to make and this script just speaks to me. I have made other digital shorts (perhaps I could send them to you). Please give it a thought and let me know either way what you would like to do.   My email address is MobstaMan56@comcast.net.

I been looking for Kim for a year!! I wish I could find her... I really want this script!

Quoted from Kazzurie I been looking for Kim for a year!! I wish I could find her... I really want this script!

She also goes by the name Kimberly Leonard. I should be a detective.

http://www.govintage.com/KimberlyLeonard.htm

So how's the $25 million "The Farm" coming, Kazzurie?