Print Topic

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Series  /  Skull Soldiers: 2739
Posted by: Don, May 8th, 2005, 7:41am
Skull Soldiers: 2739  Episode 101-'Nemesis' by Matthew Fisher (BlackDawn2023) - Series, Sci Fi - SKULL SOLDIERS 2739' is a virtual web-series. It follows the adventures of AJ Mallik as he attempts to protect the people of Earth in the year 2739. In the pilot episode, the formation of the Skull Soldiers is established, and AJ delves into a web of lies and conspiracy. Meanwhile, a super-soldier program is given the greelight by a renegade force.  - doc, format 8)
Posted by: humpelfluch (Guest), May 10th, 2005, 9:08am; Reply: 1
Interesting stuff. It's definitely got a lot of potential due to the conspiracy angle.
Just a few things, though:

1) Dialogue can be a bit dodgy at times, especially with Jason and Mr. Billings. However, it's usually great with AJ and the others.

2) There is a sort of recurring theme of Jason running away and saying "I'll get you next time!". Especially when he confronts them in the base for the first time. He leaves after getting driven back with machine gun fire, even though it has now run out of bullets and he could finish them off with ease.

3) I don't know whether this is going to happen or not, and forgive me if you are going to do this, but you should probably consider either bringing Jennifer back or delving into her background, because she is never developed and hence her death doesn't really have any meaning. How was she going to help AJ? She just blindly took on Jason. I think there must be some hidden reason for this. If there is then great, it's another plot twist, of which I am sure there are many to come.

Who is the enigmatic Mr. Billing? Or the mystey men? Or Mr. Smith? I'm looking forward to further parts.

Keep up the good work!
Posted by: BlackDawn2023, May 10th, 2005, 11:10am; Reply: 2

Quoted from humpelfluch
Interesting stuff. It's definitely got a lot of potential due to the conspiracy angle.

Yeah. The conspiracy thing is something I've always wanted to write about.

Just a few things, though:

1) Dialogue can be a bit dodgy at times, especially with Jason and Mr. Billings. However, it's usually great with AJ and the others.

Yeah. I suppose some of it could be punched up a bit. You're right.

2) There is a sort of recurring theme of Jason running away and saying "I'll get you next time!". Especially when he confronts them in the base for the first time. He leaves after getting driven back with machine gun fire, even though it has now run out of bullets and he could finish them off with ease.

Yeah. I never even thought of that until you brought it up, good point.

3) I don't know whether this is going to happen or not, and forgive me if you are going to do this, but you should probably consider either bringing Jennifer back or delving into her background, because she is never developed and hence her death doesn't really have any meaning. How was she going to help AJ? She just blindly took on Jason. I think there must be some hidden reason for this. If there is then great, it's another plot twist, of which I am sure there are many to come.

Oh yeah, plenty more plot twists. Jennifer's backstory is actually told, and includes a big revalation about her, in "Download", the next episode. There's so many conspiracies and lies within the Skull Soldiers world, and I'm glad you're enjoying them.

Who is the enigmatic Mr. Billing? Or the mystey men? Or Mr. Smith? I'm looking forward to further parts.

All of that will be explained. I guarantee it.

Keep up the good work!

Thanks!



Print page generated: May 22nd, 2024, 6:55am