Naked: The Traci Lords Story by Joe Granby - Drama - Traci Lords was one of the most prolific people within the Adult film industry. This short biography shines a light on what made her one of the most talked about and controversial people of all time. Her story is as sad as it is shocking. - htm, format 8)

I really want to read this but if the first few pages are any indication I’m afraid you’re going to be telling me the whole story instead of letting the script do it…

Examples of this being:

Words on the screen fade in to let us know that it is 1996. – A simple Subtitle: 1996 would suffice.

The interviewer gets ready to continue his chat show. – How do we know it’s his chat show beyond you telling us?

She breaks away as we hear the countdown. – We aren’t supposed to hear anything, if you can’t write without the description of things you can’t show and the words WE I think you might be setting yourself up for this.

I also noticed a few we zoom in and the camera as if it were a character in your script.

I know her from the television series First Wave, I didn’t know she was a pornstar until I saw her A&E biography which is probably what you used as a source and if not you should have or else why not just change her name and make it original.

2 things that turn me off of a screenplay are camera directions and the use of WE excessively.

Unless you're willing to write a draft that isn't so directors cut I don't think I want to read on at this point in time. I hope others who like when people use that stuff will read this but I just thought I'd be honest and give you a little bit of feedback to work on if you so choose to.

I am interested in this, but you will have to let me know how much research went into this before I want to read it.  I am not interested in reading an imaginary account.

Please respond.

Thank you for your comments. I use (WE) as meaning the audiences view. As it is written in a style I'd like the Director to take it. When I mention fades in or things like this, it is exactly how I would like people to see it.   (The interviewer gets ready to continue his chat show. – How do we know it’s his chat show beyond you telling us?) Well, I don't mention an audience being there, so it would be like one of those special one on one shows you see.  Plus I don't describe everything in a scene, but do in other screenplays available on this site. I believe in the audience, yourselfs, using your imagination, as well as whoever might wish to use this, if it ever happened. People have watched alot of tv, especially talk shows or have seen many behind the scenes tv studio things, so I felt I didn't have to say alot in certain areas. Plus I never give too much camera direction, only when I feel that it does need that sweep here or zoom there. As for my info - all of it is from the internet, and it was pretty much layed out from her early life till 96. I just obviously fictionalised her journey, but in the right path. As in yes she had an abusive dad, yes she got pregnant, yes she ran away, yes she was spotted on a beach, most is obviously interpreted, but then again I wasn't around to put in the real words. Though most of the interview rolls I said are infact genuine things about her, and the interview is just based on actual real testerment. So, yes it might be haphazzard and yes, you might not like it. But no one has ever done it, and I just thought I'd give it a go and see if anyone liked it. Looks like no one has so far, but thank you for reading it anyway. This is my third screenplay. I'm not a writer, but enjoy the journey of trying to be one. Thanks for reading it and take care of yourselfs - Joe.    P.S  - Could be wrong in saying this , but I feel the Camera is just as important a character as those you write. As you can take the camera where you choose it to go, taking you in. Maybe I'm wrong to think this. But I only take the camera on a journey of close-up or zooms where I feel it would be best placed to have it. One thing I never do is simply put nothing, especially when you are writing and visualizing that particular shot as you write. Cos unless you were involved on set in the making of it, then if you don't write it down, then the Director won't make it visually appear in his or her film. That's the way I see, could be wrong, who knows. But one thing I do know, and continue to do is never tell the director how to direct it. But guide them as to how the scene might look visually, hence description, where I think it's needed. Seeya - Joe.

I read the book. I'm afraid to read this!

Don't know if that's a good thing or bad. All I can say is, I just wanted to do it, I did it, and here it is. Good or bad. But like I said, the path to her porn years is as true as I can imagine it being, and statements made where from genuine statements made to various magazines from those mentioned. I just came from it from a different angle. Possibly in a made for TV kindof way. I guess it could of been more graphic, which I'm guessing those times might of been, than not. I just found her story, or what we know of her, what she has given out, to be a life I've always been facinated by. Always found it to be Sad really, overall. Anyway, I guess I must of written it wrong or something, cos people looking at it so far seem to find fault in it somehow. But if you look at it simply for what it is, given it's obvious TV kinda' feel, then you might see a not too bad account of certain events in her life. Which really in the end is all it focuses on, and not on who she is. As for trivial layout pick me ups - hey, that's fine also. It is a first draft version afterall. Still, everyone has their opinion which is a good thing. To those who haven't read it yet, I hope you like it. However you see it. And, Matt, never be afraid to read it. I've taken it from a different angle than most people might think it to be like. Perhaps it is an angle you'll enjoy. As always, take care, and catch you soon - Joe.

I couldn't get past the Floor Director doing an audible countdown for a live broadcast ... final 3 to 5 seconds are given visually, usually a "finger countdown".

I have seen both done on film. Seen or heard. I Don't actually think I'm wrong in the people making it being heard, as in the TV makers of the fictional broadcast, saying the countdown before it cuts to the people tuning in to watch. Still, it looks like people want to be very critical on this. Thanks for reading that line anyway.