Goonies 2 by Graeme Beresford (bez2k) - Adventure - The Goonies are back.  The Fratelli's are back.  More rich stuff.  Action, adventure, fun. - pdf, format 8)

Hello all,

Very interested to see what you think of my script.  Took me a year to write it but overall I think I did a pretty good job.

Any comments, opinions, tips, reviews etc are all very welcome.  Can't wait to read what you thought of the Goonies II.  

Thanks,

Bez

Nobody read this yet?

I will be happy to read your scripts and comment on them if you give me the links.  More than happy.  I'd just like some comments on my script.

Bez

xxx

You've formatted this as a shooting script, with camera angles and povs.  Those shoudl be left out of a spec script as much as possible. You can still draw attention to what you think should be highlighted, but any director or cinematographer will want to make their own decisions.
Plus, you don't need 'cut to' or 'dissolve' anymore.

The opening is 14-15 pages...that's 15 minutes of pirate battle...we need to see a Goonie in the first 5 pages.  The search for the second batch of treasure needs to start by page 30, but it starts around page 60.  There's too much of the birthday party and character building.  

It was a good idea to have a descendant of an original pirate to be a link to the new adventure.

Some proofreading is necessary...its/it's etc. plus a few spelling mistakes (let's get out of here...not outer here...unless that's pirate talk).

Overall: obviously a lot of work went into it. Good effort. Make it more adventuresome.

Thanks for taking time to read it, much appreciated.

Yeah I know what you mean.  Its a first draft so I understand it obviously must have spelling and grammar mistakes here and there.  

The reason it takes so long to get into the actual storyline is that I thought I would end up with a script that was about 160 pages +.  I never intended to write this script as a 'film script' as such, because I wanted to to be a 'fan fiction script'.  If that meant the script was 160+ pages then I thought, "So be it."  

Thanks for reading it matey.  Much appreciated.  If you have any work of yours that you would like me to read please don't hesitate to leave the links in this thread.  

Cheers matey.

I never knew one eyed willie was such a bad mofo. that rocks