BLOOD/LUST
OK, Im going to read and review at the same time so I hope this will be useful to you.
SPOLIERS
I was confused at the very start but only because I was wondering what you meant "It FLIPS through different channels". I think it would be better written as "IT" flips...
I can tell this is going to be good. Your writing is showing this early on and Im only up to the Newscaster reporting on the Grim Reaper. Loved the bit at the end where the weather is mentioned!
And this leads onto the first story.
HELL HATH NO FURY
The club scene with Brad and Anita moves flawlessly. Good, good dialouge and your writing is bang on, you have a great use of descriptions. The whole scene moves at a great speed.
There is a first mention of a camera angle. Although I dont mind them, it is not needed to use them unless you plan on directing this yourself.
Anita and the Cholos...not a bad scene, everything is written well enough. Apart from one of the jokes Anita quips when holding the guys body...I cringed at that one!
Brad and Josh's conversation flows easily, and I had to laugh at the final comment concerning Brad getting a dose of his own medicine. That made up for the previous gag with the Cholos...slightly!
I know I mentioned the camera angles, I wont any more after this as I dont want to keep repeating myself. But they do in fact help with the vision of what is happening.
The vision of Hell is fantastic, exactly how I would visualize it. And a nicely tail wrapped ending to the first story. Overall, this was very good, defintily enjoyable. The pace was great, never dull, the writing clear and articulate and although there wasnt really so much of a twist, the pay off was well delivered.
Ha! Now I know where pop ups come from! You've got a great mix of humour and horror here, it's really enjoyable. I havnt read similar material since Balt's scripts.
WORLD OF HURT
This looks like we're heading into a bit of S&M in this tale. Pins and Needles...heh, good name for the club here.
Adrian turns out to be a waiter. I didnt expect that, I was expecting him to be some high class executive as well as Beth.
Beth's now on the rebound and with Jerry in the car. Man, this is funny with Beth trying to get him to hit her. I havnt read anything quite like this before on this site at least.
Back to the present, and you write the finale really well again. It is tense and humourous at the same time.
The pay off at the end of this one is great. I didnt really see it coming, I suppose in hindsgiht it may be a little predictable but it is a great ending with another witty line at the finish.
So far, these two stories have been fresh, humourous, horrific and great entertainment. Easily the best thing I have read on here in some time.
BAD HAPPENINGS AT THE BAD KITTEN
Im reading this and it has whizzed past, such is the smoothness of your writing. It is easy to picture, and not just becuase of the dancing girls.
Im now with the Fan Dancer and Lou. Good scene. I like the fact the fan is used as kind of wings of a predator.
Magdelena, after her chat with the preist, is now dressed in a cat suit, ready to face the forces of evil. I didnt see that one coming. I love the ammount of characters in this, too.
Greta is a great character. No nonsence . Dean seems like a cool guy and the blonde hip hop dancer is funny. The porn star is also highly amusing.
If there is one thing to moan at, it is simply the use of the camera angles. Thats all I can find wrong, and that is not even that much of a problem as far as Im concerned. It doesnt hinder the enjoyment factor any, or get in the way of your story.
Back to the story at hand. The doll and Rosebud is a great idea and works like a charm. I can visualize this being quite literally a tounge in cheek moment.
To the final showdown, the moment of revelation with Great/Sully. It's really great how you worked all this into a story and although the final fight maybe a little over the top, you describe it fantastically well.
Another great addition.
And onto the finale, with The Grim Reaper. Man, what a great, great ending. Others will see it coming, but you got me. Brilliant. Funny as hell, and brilliant.