Don, please do something about Andy's sig.  It's wigging me, man.  I've repeatedly sent telepathic messages to Andy, politely asking her to take it down, but she's ignoring me.  She's acting like she doesn't even receive them.

And I'm not even taking finals.


Phil

Phil,

Andy's sig stands.  Give me a bit and I'll give you background on it.  

Don

Quoted from dogglebe Don, please do something about Andy's sig.  It's wigging me, man.  I've repeatedly sent telepathic messages to Andy, politely asking her to take it down, but she's ignoring me.  She's acting like she doesn't even receive them.

Oh, I heard ya, Phil. I'm just too mesmerised by those swinging nuts to pay attention

"Wiggle, wiggle, WOW"..."Wiggle, wiggle, WOW"

Andy xxx

The character in Andy's sig is a Tanuki - The Japanese God of Verility and Gluttony.

Don

Ah, so this is what I have to look forward to as I take on the responsibilities and maturity of adulthood.  

Quoted from Heretic Ah, so this is what I have to look forward to as I take on the responsibilities and maturity of adulthood.

Me too.


Phil

SHERIFF:
So Clem, this guy who done robbed your general store... Did you get a look at him?

CLEM
Sure did Sheriff.  He has the biggest testicles I ever seen.

SHERIFF:
Really?  What else?

CLEM:
They were huge.  Bigger-n cannon balls!

SHERIFF:
What else, Clem?

CLEM:
Can't say.  Reckon I didn't get past them testicles.

SHERIFF:
Clem, are you telling me all you know about this varmint who robbed your store is that he got big testicles?

CLEM:
I'd like to see you turn away.


Phil

Yep, we caught 'em alright.  He had dollar signs painted on 'em like he was fixin' to make a stop at the bank.

Course, we didn't find that out 'til we followed the trail of a set of footprints that appeared to be draggin' somethin'.

Quoted from Don Andy's Tanuki

What a strangely compelling title this would make for a short.  I would read it immediately.

Wow, Bert you are a genius!  Realy a great title!

By the way I don't know nothing about these tests!

Quoted from Helio Wow, Bert you are a genius!  Realy a great title! By the way I don't know nothing about these tests!

You speak in riddles little man.  Do you mean tests as in finals or testes as in well testes.

Oh, I see...Testis, right?

Just " TESTIS"

Right, Big "hig" Man?

no, "testes" with an e

All right! Testes. Tanuki's testes.

Quoted from Helio Tanuki's testes.

That sounds even better than Andy's tanuki!  Alliteration makes it sweet.

Yeah, Tanuki's testes the title...Right?

What in the HELL?!  ;D

Good lord, no more please! It's too much!

Actually, the next one week challenge/game/contest/excercise will be to write a short appropriately titled "Andy's Tanuki."


Phil

Testes, 1, 2,......3?


I think my "contest" short will be called "Six Guns and Saddlebags", and center around a lonely cowboy who gets berated at the local general store/saloon because he requires two stools.  One for him, and one for his giant sack.

And no, it isn't about Santa Claus.

Quoted from dogglebe Actually, the next one week challenge/game/contest/excercise will be to write a short appropriately titled "Andy's Tanuki." Phil

I would have an easier time with that than the western thing.  :-/

Quoted from Shelton At least it's not "Andy's Giant Balls".  That would just be disturbing.

I don't know, to someone who is unsure of what a "Tanuki" is, it lets there mind wander, to something possibly even more disgusting.

Hig,

It is now your purpose in life to:

1) Attain the rank of Eagle Scout (and join the ranks of other Eagle Scouts and perhaps someday create a dorky website where people submit scripts and talk about Tanuki.)  {Seriously, Hig,  I'm an Eagle Scout and a Vigil Honor member of the Order of the Arrow and I did get my Arrow of Light.}

2) Educate the world about the Tanuki.  Tanuki is not a racoon or a badger, but rather a species of dog.  Read more here: http://www.onmarkproductions.com/html/tanuki.shtml

Don
webmaster
(once an Eagle Scout, always...)
simplyscripts.com

Now there's no need to get testy, but I knew underneath those calm writer exteriors you were all nuts about this kind of humor.  If this goes on too long, Don might get sacked, and then I'd have to bawl, because you're all my best chums.  

Perhaps we could create some sort of "ball-locks" so such language couldn't be used.

Quoted from Don {Seriously, Hig,  I'm an Eagle Scout and a Vigil Honor member of the Order of the Arrow and I did get my Arrow of Light.} Don webmaster (once an Eagle Scout, always...) simplyscripts.com

Wow, you got vigil?  I just got OA this summer.  Quite the experience.

I am working on my eagle project, and it should be done before the end of the school year, then next year I plan on getting the rest of the merit badges I need.

That is really cool though don, Im impressed.

Quoted from Higgonaitor I am working on my eagle project, and it should be done before the end of the school year, then next year I plan on getting the rest of the merit badges I need.

The project is the toughest part, I found.  The merit badges are not as hard as you think.  Go through, read the requirements.  You'll find that a lot of what is in the requirements, you've already done.  

Just don't mention Tanuki.  

Don

Don, how many merit badges did it take you to make Eagle?  We seem to be about the same age...

I look younger, but we seem to be about the same age.


Phil

Just when you thought it couldn't get worse........

DON'T..........

LOOK...............

DOWN........................

Oh please make it stop

Too much wiggling.

Too much jiggling.

Which is the lesser of two evils NOW eh? LMAO!! hahaha!!!

Andy, where the fuck are you coming up with these nightmares??

Phil

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What? You know you love it really, Phil.

:P

Haha the second with the...rabbits and dear is it? NOW THAT IS FUNNY. Kind of disturbing...BUT FUNNY

Wow. Just... wow.

Hi All,

I've gotten a little flack for letting Andy's sig stand.  Thankfully, no one in this thread has gotten worked up over it and your posts indicate you've taken the sig in the spirit in which it was intended.

I haven't deleted Andy's sig and I won't.  It is a clip from a Japanese commerical.  You can get more information about the commercial here: http://www.stinky.com/anabu/

With regard to what is acceptable and not acceptable on this discussion board, let me just remind everyone that this is a privately run discussion board.  The finally arbiter of what is appropriate and not appropriate is me, Don.  If you want more clarification on where I stand, you can read the rules I've posted here: http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b=News,m=1080786748


Don

In a rare moment of seriousness (seroiusity), Don, I've seen a lot worse on this board than Andy's .sig.  Still, it just too...damn...weird!


Phil

I'm more annoyed by the blatent self promotion of screenplays *Whore* oh I forgot to cough damn.

But really if fake suggested nuts offend people I don't know what will offend people next. Dogglebe said F*** unedited and I've said shit a lot but I don't see anybody saying anything about the unedited cursing that goes on.

You can turn off the sig's at least I thought we could if you so choose.

Quoted from Old Time Wesley But really if fake suggested nuts offend people I don't know what will offend people next. Dogglebe said F*** unedited and I've said shit a lot but I don't see anybody saying anything about the unedited cursing that goes on..

I'm more offended when words like shit and fuck and j**** are censored than when they're actually used.    I especially hate it when the news media would say the 'N-word' as opposed to the actual word.  This especially true if they're quoting someone else.  If it's obvious what the word is, you should use the actual word.  The meaning and the hatred are still there.  


Phil

I myself would not say the N word or not actually put myself in a situation where I need to talk about it.

I like to swear but out of respect for younger members I sometimes will censor certain words but I wrote a series that has no shame in talking about women with male parts and just saying every word under the sun that offends people so I guess when I say something like "I'm against this" and I wrote a screenplay that says the opposite it really hurts my argument.

So yes it's kind of odd to censor words but as the older members of the board we should think about kids under 17 who may not be exposed to the same as us.

I didn't know what porn was until my teenage years began, now kids about 8 are all talking about it online and dressing like whores.

I don't use racial slurs, myself.  Doing so is tasteless.  But I see no difference in saying, 'n-word' and the actual word.

Phil

oooooooooooooooook

Andy don't let these morons dictate what you put in your sig.  Don said it's ok.  That's all that matters.  These people complaining about it need to get a life.

Apparently they can't scroll right past your posts.  Maybe there is some type of subconscious fascination with it?  

Has anyone else read Alans modification reasons?  They're on the first and second page and their pretty funny, for some you have to know latin...
Anyway, I think the Tanuki thing shoukd not be put into scripts until : FEB. 14, 2007, when it will be funny again.  As of now, the Tanuki shall make no more appearances in screenplays, let andy's sig be the freindly reminder of our mythological asian freind.  After reading like three westerns with tanukis and 2 simply script scripts with it, the Tanuki is officially: Old.  Yes, old, please dont ruin a good thing.

This of course, is just my WACKY opinion! Wooo! anyway,  carry on with your wacky, or completely average day.

Tyler,

Thanks for the heads up.  Everyone else confused, check out http://www.stinky.com/anabu/ and they will understand the whole Tanuki schtick.

Old timers, "et tu brute" will suffice.  I really gotta watch who I make a moderator.

Don

Don, your link contained the word "and" and it messes the link up.

I didnt actually read the latin (thats one final I did not do so hot on) and all I got out of the "et tu brute" was "and you ____" so if it's not funny, then sorry...

Oh, and although the commercial was..odd..and, um, insightful (?)  I actually found the song to be very catchy!

Quoted from Higgonaitor Don, your link contained the word "and" and it messes the link up.

I fixed that

Quoted from Higgonaitor I didnt actually read the latin (that's one final I did not do so hot on) and all I got out of the "et tu brute" was "and you ____" so if it's not funny, then sorry...

Read Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, it will make more sense.

Quoted Text Oh, and although the commercial was..odd..and, um, insightful (?)  I actually found the song to be very catchy!

Foreign commercials generally are 'odd'.  That was kind of the point I was trying to make.  Outside the cultural context, some things may seem very, very weird.   Think about how a non-'scripter' would interpret "SimplyScripts vs. The Giant Monster"

Don

Quoted from guyjackson Andy don't let these morons dictate what you put in your sig.  Don said it's ok.  That's all that matters.  These people complaining about it need to get a life.

Actually Guy, we're kidding and I'm pretty sure that Andy knows this.


Phil

Quoted from Don Think about how a non-'scripter' would interpret "SimplyScripts vs. The Giant Monster" Don

Me personally, I think they would say, "Hey that's the greatest script ever written!  I want to produce that!".  Of course, I'm the type of guy that lives in a world full of pipedreams, so this post shouldn't be take with the least bit of seriousness.


And, I'm also drunk and came from a fantastic night of karaoke-ing, where I garnered huge applause, so this post shouldn't be held in any regard at all.



Your Three sheets to the win scripty friend,

Mike "Jack Amsterdam" Shelton



P.S.   I'm Wasted

Quoted from Higgonaitor After reading like three westerns with tanukis and 2 simply script scripts with it, the Tanuki is officially: Old.  Yes, old, please dont ruin a good thing.

I agree.

(Tanuki is now enjoying his vacation with one of the bouncing bunnies...)

Andy

Guy jackson I hope you didn't mean Dogglebe and I as we are basically saying the same thing but we just got a little off topic with offensive words instead of a pair of nuts, balls, a sack, testicles and so on.

I didn't see them until this garbage started but the fact remains you can turn off the signature so where is the problem?

This is in your options...

Disable Censored Words
The administrator of this forum may censor certain words on this forum that are offensive, this option will disable it.

Disable Signatures in Posts?

Disable Avatars in Posts?

Those 3 options would solve all the problems with people who are offended, just go to your member center and click board options.

I made that Tanuki comment as a joke.  I expected to get a few ROFLMAO and a couple of smileys.  That's it.  This thing has spawn a decent sized thread (with some unfriendly dialogue) and guest appearances in scripts.

What will we think of next?

This will be my last post regarding the tanuki.  I'll find something else about Andy to make fun of.


Phil

Wiggle, wiggle, woe.... :'(

I'm gonna miss the little guy.

Quoted from dogglebe This will be my last post regarding the tanuki.  I'll find something about Andy to make fun of. Phil

Haha!! Yeah, right. I have photos, so watch it! :P

Quoted from bert Wiggle, wiggle, woe.... :'( I'm gonna miss the little guy.

Awe. Don't worry, bert. He'll be back from vacation soon enough ;D

I'm an eagle scout.  ;D

Quoted from Antemasque I'm an eagle scout.  ;D

Seriously, Andrew?  If so, that is great.  Have you seen the arrow?


Yes, I'm going off topic.  What are you going to do?  See, I run this town and nobody is... @#$%^&^%$#@#$%NO CARRIER

Quoted from Don Yes, I'm going off topic.  What are you going to do?  See, I run this town and nobody is... @#$%^&^%$#@#$%NO CARRIER

*poke poke*  ;D

Quoted from Don Yes, I'm going off topic.  What are you going to do?  See, I run this town and nobody is... @#$%^&^%$#@#$%NO CARRIER

:o :o  <**runs away in terror**>  :o :o

Ha.

Oh and dogglebe I wasn't serious with my earlier post either.  I was actually trying to see if people were really joking or not.  I don't bicker on the internet, haha it's so pointless.

There's a quote I remember seeing about fighting on the internet too I forget where I found it.  But it was like "Fighting on the internet is like winning the Speical Olympics.  Even if you win, you're still retarded."

Haha great quote.  

Fighting on the Internet is like sleeping with animals, you shouldn't do it but nobody is going to stop you.

Plus the fact what people see as fighting I see as idle conversation.

If I said something and you read it out of context you may see it as an attack and you'd attack back which is how things start on the boards and force Commander Don of our little Enterprise to beam into action.

Andy's sig is brilliant.

If you ever feel depressed just look at her sig and you'll feel much better.

That's not a human though. It's a...well...I'm actually  not sure what it is, but it's some sort of creature that lives in the wild.  Wild animals walk around naked all day and no one gets offended, so I think you should just enjoy the swinging and let it take you away!

Hey, Tanuki can't help it that he has very large testicles, just like a newly born can't help the fact that they're born without feet.

And I don't know much about animal anatomy, but I believe only apes have breasts similar to humans.  Every other creature is already flashing them around.

Quoted from FilmMaker06 But animals don't walk around with enlarged nuts hanging down either. And they don't stand up and swing them in front of people.

YES they do! and they end up at the Vet school for "injuring themselves".


>:(

I believe those creatures are known as dogs. As for animals with enlarged breasts, all I'd have to do is post a picture of a cow dancing, and we'd have that covered.

And I don't believe anyone told you what views to take. Everyone is expressing their opinion as you are expressing yours.

You're taking things far too seriously.  If you think Tanuki is no different from pornography, then I can only wonder what you're thoughts of beastiality are.

I'm not offended by your view, but you call Andy's sig pornography. Do we really have to take into consideration members age and sensitivities here before we post something? I'm an adult and I'd like to have discussions about movies with other adults without having to worry about "offending" anyone. >:(

The sig is actually based on a Japanese commercial for a builder, as I understood it. Little girl dancing about the forest with cute furry animals and such. Kind of a corny little plot and song.

To reiterate for the narrow minded...

The character in Andy's sig is a Tanuki - The Japanese God of Verility and Gluttony.  The footage is explained here: http://www.stinky.com/anabu/

Don

Once again I am both amused and slightly confused that Don knows this.  ;D

And I have to say, having seen the full length commercial... let's just say that Tanuki isn't the only one with large... endowments.

Seriously, it's disturbing.

The Tanuki is quite real.  Here is another incarnation, without those offensive wiggles:

Bert, Excellent Tanuki.

Quoted from R.E._Freak Once again I am both amused and slightly confused that Don knows this.  ;D And I have to say, having seen the full length commercial... let's just say that Tanuki isn't the only one with large... endowments. Seriously, it's disturbing.

I grew up in Korea and spend a large part of my adult life in Japan and China - all told about 15 years.  You pick up a bit of trivia.  I received a small Tanuki statue from a Catholic nun when I was ten.  She gave it to me because I reminded her of a tanuki (not for his testicular attributes, but because the tanuki is a trickster and at ten years old I was always playing pranks on her.)  I think it is humorously ironic that tanuki is causing this uproar on the site.  

Don

I actually didn't notice Andy's signature until people started pointing it out. It must have been the sunglasses. ;D

Quoted from R.E._Freak And I have to say, having seen the full length commercial... let's just say that Tanuki isn't the only one with large... endowments.

The difference here is that I wear pants!


Phil

I don't really see how I'm narrow minded and your not. I mean, I don't like the sig and I told you why. You like the sig and told me why. Why aren't you narrow minded as well? You like it I hate it. We're the same just have different point of views.

If you weren't so narrow minded you'd look at things from my point of view and accept them, as you want me to do with your views. So I'm not being no more narrow minded than you are.

=Me

The only difference with me and you is that you can delete this post but I can't delete yours. And delete this you will.

I've seen worse, Andy deleted her sig once over this thread. This time I think everyone should add it just to annoy those who don't like it. That's why Don has an age limit, by the time you're 14 you have already been subjected to this kind of stuff and worse especially if you're on the internet.

If you write in something as harmless as Barbie in Google image search you'll find some vile things if you go through the pages.

Quoted from FilmMaker06 I don't really see how I'm narrow minded and your not. I mean, I don't like the sig and I told you why. You like the sig and told me why. Why aren't you narrow minded as well? You like it I hate it. We're the same just have different point of views. If you weren't so narrow minded you'd look at things from my point of view and accept them, as you want me to do with your views. So I'm not being no more narrow minded than you are. =Me The only difference with me and you is that you can delete this post but I can't delete yours. And delete this you will.

Christopher,

You did not read through all the posts and the information available in this thread before you began calling Andy's sig 'porn'.  You simply reacted to what you saw outside the cultural context which I provided.  

Don

Quoted from FilmMaker06 The only difference with me and you is that you can delete this post but I can't delete yours.

No, there is another big difference, J.F.:

The other big difference is that this is Don's house, and if you play here, you gotta play by his rules.

He doesn't have to give a hoot what you think.  He might, but he doesn't have to.

You really need to move on and let this one go.  Honestly.  It is not casting you in a favorable light.

Plus in the Rules it doesn't say anything about having nuts in your signature; it doesn't actually say anything that says you can't swear, use a Tanuki or anything along those lines.

It doesn't even say you have to be a screenwriter to be a member, I think maybe that's common sense.

Heyyy! Just a comment here, may I? So thanks! Now a Flash back:

Don (vo)
I grew up in Korea and spend a large part of my adult life in Japan and China - all told about 15 years.  You pick up a bit of trivia.  I received a small Tanuki statue from a Catholic nun when I was ten.  She gave it to me because I reminded her of a tanuki (not for his testicular attributes, but because the tanuki is a trickster and at ten years old I was always playing pranks on her.)  I think it is humorously ironic that tanuki is causing this uproar on the site.  

I tried to prevent the uproar by making a temporary point about equality (that I was going to delete after the point was made to certain key people), and then I locked the thread.  I came back when enough time had passed -- I was about to delete that point and keep the thread locked, but I was banned for a little while and demoted from my rank as moderator.  For more information about tanukis, see the movie POM POKO.  Brilliant film; it explains their cultural significance.  However, in the english version of POM POKO, the tanukis are referred to as raccoons.  The movie POM POKO is a good explaination, though; however, my only concern with the sig came AFTER Andy started laughing at people, and insulting people, because they were offended by the sig.  But I was personally furious after Andy said she wanted to go into a men's restroom and drool at large testicles.  The way she worded it WAS funny ... then I realised the kind of damage that joke could do in the long run.  Long story short, a lot less people would have hurt feelings about this topic if I weren't demoted from my rank of moderator in this area.

Peace.

Alan if Don were to tell the real reason you lost your Mod badge you might reword that post...

I vaguely remember that post by Andy but seriously if a girl walked into the men’s room to look at balls would you really tell them to get out? It's a great way to break the ice for future conversations.

Also the fact it was a JOKE and jokes are not meant to be taken seriously which it seems like you have.

Quoted from Old Time Wesley Alan if Don were to tell the real reason you lost your Mod badge you might reword that post...

I posted bouncing breasts and wrote a point about equality.  Please tell me this "real" reason so we can debate it.  I tried to have this debate earlier but it looks like my posts were deleted.

Alan, I was joking before about the men's room. You're totally misquoting me and taking what I said the wrong way. I commented after Phil said something funny about the men's room and took it further by joking about it. You've made me out to be some kind of sexist sod. Don't you dare tell me you are furious with me for anything when you were so blatently rude to me in emails after the event. You don't deserve to be a moderator after the way you behaved because of this. Move on. There's no need for a debate and if you want to do it, do it in a private email, instead of in here.

Wes, I did indeed wander on into the men's room once. Gave the first guy I saw a heart attack. It was totally by mistake that I did that, in a Pizza Hut of all places and never laughed so hard in my life at that point!! I was 10 and it was my birthday and my family and I were crying with laughter about it. I love that memory ;D

Andy

I love the Tanuki.

I smile every single time I see it, without exception.

I hope it never goes away.

(note:  all 3 of these sentences are also true of Andy  :)  Even if she is a sexist sod.)

Thank you, Bert. You made me feel very special just now, I mean that  ;D

*hugs*

Andy x

PS - "craftsmanship" - yeah, right, sure... LMAO!  :P

Within my reply to an e-mail you sent, I said "F**k you, Andy".  

I might not have that much candor on the board, but at least I was honest.  

I also made some points in the e-mail.  Contradict them or quit starting arguments.

Breasts are more porn like than fake cartoony nuts without a penis may I add, end of debate.

Since this is a writing website I don't even know why we need to have these conversations, this is why I asked Don to not allow people on these boards for awhile just to see who wants to be here and who is only here to play on these boards.

Between this and the mindless Horror conversation we might as well delete the screenplay threads and just chat about stupid crap for the rest of our time because I feel like I'm back in 2nd grade listening to guys giggling over the fact that they can curse.

(Andy - I might have done that before, in Public School the other guys would always stuff the weaker guy (Me) into the girls washroom and not let him out until the girls came by to say "Eww")

Quoted from Old Time Wesley Breasts are more porn like than fake cartoony nuts without a penis may I add, end of debate.

I disagree.  The "nuts" produce half of a baby's genetic material.  The breasts only produce food, and the baby might eat formula anyway.  Therefore, nuts are more relevant to the reproductive act than breasts.  The more relevant to the reproductive act a body part is, the more likely it is that the only genre of film you'll find it in is porn.  

Human breasts are in kids' cartoons, such as RANMA 1/2 ... but the only time I've seen testicles in a kids' cartoon was when they were animal testicles, in the movie POM POKO.  You will see more live action human testicles in X rated movies, than you will in G rated movies.  

I wonder if anyone in the Far East would laugh any of their body parts off if they knew this discussion was even taking place.

You avoided the rest of my post because you know I'm right... If you want to keep this thread going and talking about nut sacks, tits and whatever else it goes to next, please be my guest.

Quoted from tomson I wonder if anyone in the Far East would laugh any of their body parts off if they knew this discussion was even taking place.

While not in the far east, I'm finding it amusing.

The meter has run out on this.  

Don