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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Screenwriting Class  /  A quick formatting question
Posted by: AlMac, March 14th, 2006, 6:31pm
Consider the following scene: A lecture theatre, the professor is speaking at the front of the class, however I want to "angle on" some whisperings of the pupils. Naturally, the professor is going to continue his stream of talking. How do I show this?

A quick internet search revealed to methods and I'm not sure which is best (or if there's a different one altogether!):
1. Do two sets of dialogue opposite each other down the page. So the professor talking on the right and the whispering on the left. However, I think this is used primarily for people talking over each other and the timing will also go slightly askew.
2. Alternatively, put "(MORE)" at the bottom of the initial professors dialogue, cut to ("angle on") the whispering pupils, and then return with "(CONT'D)" to the professors monologue.
Posted by: anti, March 14th, 2006, 6:43pm; Reply: 1
Nope, all you do is:

   PROFESSOR
Blah, blah, blah

TWO SLACKER STUDENTS whisper to each other.

   PROFESSOR
Blah, blah, blah

The director will know exactly what to do.  I would not put "angle on" or any other camera direction in your script, it's not needed.  Anyways, that how I do it.

Hope this helps!


Posted by: George Willson, March 14th, 2006, 6:47pm; Reply: 2
If it is essential that the professor's speech be scripted and that the whispers be timed off of his speech, then the split dialogue is the best way to do it. The timing would be aligned as close as possible during the filming and editing process so the effect remains.

Another option if timing is not so important would be to note in a preceeding action paragraph that the professor's speech is simultaneous with the student whispers, write out the entire speech the professor is giving, then note in the following action paragraph that the dialogue whispers to follow is simultaneous with the professor's speech, and then write the whole dialogue. This is more of less a method used in musicals to indicate simultaneous singing.

The option of splitting the speech into segments is a decent one if the other two are too hard to pull off, but it gives the appearance of normal dialogue which is not what is going on.

My first choice (even if timing isn't important) is the first one with the split so the reader gets an authentic feel of what's going on. The second way is a fair backup, but it loses the effect.

Does that answer it?
Posted by: AlMac, March 14th, 2006, 6:54pm; Reply: 3
Okay, that's great thanks.

However, I need to include some action information within the student's whispered dialogue; and therefore I don't think I could do split-side by side-dialogue, unless I put the action to one side as well, right? Which isn't ideal.

In that case would the backup of doing the monologue and then followed by the dialogue with a note be better?
Posted by: George Willson, March 14th, 2006, 8:46pm; Reply: 4
Actually, you could place the action paragraphs within the framework of the split dialogue in their normal positions. This wouldn't cause a problem in the read or flow. Since two things are going on at the same time, you just have to specify what's going on with whom.
Posted by: Old Time Wesley, March 14th, 2006, 9:16pm; Reply: 5
I had the same problem with my series when they went to a press conference for Red Phoenix, ultimately I decided that the character interaction was more important for the story than what the guys on-stage even though they're famous were saying.

Though if you watch shows that have the college scene, like say Buffy you can hear the professor in the background but what they're saying is about as important as toilet water.

I guess it's up to you as the writer, readers won't care much as long as you don't start with that scene. (When all else fails listen to George)
Posted by: Mr.Z, March 15th, 2006, 7:41am; Reply: 6

Quoted from AlMac
Consider the following scene: A lecture theatre, the professor is speaking at the front of the class, however I want to "angle on" some whisperings of the pupils. Naturally, the professor is going to continue his stream of talking. How do I show this?


I guess that while you "angle on" the whisperings, the proffesor´s lecture would just be a distant monologue in the background, and its exact content would be irrelevant. If that´s the case, you could try something like this:

PROFESSOR
Blah, blah, blah, blah...

He continues as...

PUPIL Nº1
(whispering)
Blah, blah, blah.

PUPIL Nº2
(whispering)
Blah, blah, blah.

Posted by: AlMac, March 15th, 2006, 12:14pm; Reply: 7
Cool. Thanks. I've shorten the Professor's monologue and thrown in the "angled on" stuff afterwards (without "angle on" - as people seem to dislike that, right?).

One more question, if I may:

For character's ages, where the exact age is not important. Is, for example, "JOHN (~30)" acceptable for John who's around 30?
Posted by: Mr.Z, March 15th, 2006, 1:13pm; Reply: 8
You can write "JOHN (30´s)" for example, no problem there.

You can write "JOHN (30)" as well, even if his exact age is not important. People in charge of casting will interpret this as "someone who´s around 30"; if they find the perfect John and he happens to be just 29, they will hire him just the same.
Posted by: Breanne Mattson, March 15th, 2006, 9:35pm; Reply: 9

I have a few technical questions along these lines.

1) How do you format a two column section in the middle of a script with the rest of the script in normal format? In other words, my documents always default to one format or the other. How do I columnize a particular section?

2) Is there a way to write two columns separately? In other words, do I have to just write it and bump it into the next column, space it, play with it, etc., or can I write them as two distinct columns and match them?

3) Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey has a columnized section in it and it was written long before home computers. How did he do it?
Posted by: Helio, March 15th, 2006, 10:05pm; Reply: 10
Yeah sometimes I ask myself about these questions Brea.

Mankind gets surprised as Alien talks with his spaceship...

                            MANKIND                      ALIEN
            What the hell!                        Bxzlmn! Bxz, bxz!
            
Posted by: George Willson, March 15th, 2006, 10:33pm; Reply: 11

Quoted from Breanne Mattson

I have a few technical questions along these lines.

1) How do you format a two column section in the middle of a script with the rest of the script in normal format? In other words, my documents always default to one format or the other. How do I columnize a particular section?

2) Is there a way to write two columns separately? In other words, do I have to just write it and bump it into the next column, space it, play with it, etc., or can I write them as two distinct columns and match them?

3) Kubrick?s 2001: A Space Odyssey has a columnized section in it and it was written long before home computers. How did he do it?


Actually, the easiest way to do in most formats, and the way Mr. Kubrick would have done it as well, is to manually set tabs to accomodate the two-column setup. There really aren't hard and fast rules here that I'm aware of. The key is to make it look good.

The link below is actually to a libretto for a musical I wrote, but as such, it is chock full of two column stuff since characters sing various lines over each other, so not only does it have to look good, but the lines have to sync up with one another. This script contains the occasional two-column split, as well as three and four column splits. It's an html document, so each one had to be done manually.

I'm not asking anyone to read this, exactly, but just kind of scan through it looking for the column stuff. I will add that this is not a screenplay, but a musical play, so as a result, it is in stage play format. The dialogue stuff is similar enough to let me use it as an example here.

http://www.geocities.com/georgescripts/onenight.html
Posted by: Breanne Mattson, March 15th, 2006, 11:16pm; Reply: 12
Hey George,

Thank you so much. That was so simple, I feel foolish for not seeing it. I knew it could be done. I guess I was looking for something more complex. Thank you. At long last, I can complete a certain section of a certain script the way I originally intended it to go.

Thank you. You’ve eased my mind.
Posted by: George Willson, March 15th, 2006, 11:26pm; Reply: 13
It's always the easy stuff that bites the hardest...
Posted by: George Willson, March 16th, 2006, 1:14am; Reply: 14
The basic definition is that a dash is normally used for interruptions of thought and the ellipsis for continuation of thought. An ellipsis at the end of a sentence normally means the character did not continue the thought.

However, in a fit of wonderful irony, Kevan had JUST sent me something that helps with this little topic. He said it came with Moviemaker. It's a 2 page pdf that has some good examples.

http://www.angelfire.com/film/screenplay777/Hyphens_and_three_dots.pdf

And if you need more, I even have an example I could type out...
Posted by: George Willson, March 17th, 2006, 1:39am; Reply: 15
Glad you could be lured in. There's a lot of people who know a lot of stuff and they've shared it for awhile. I've read almost every post in this board by now, and some of it is quite golden.

As for the script, I'm at the mercy of our father of posting...
Posted by: AlMac, March 17th, 2006, 2:10pm; Reply: 16
Back to formatting quickly:

Are pronouns, such as "they", "he", "she", okay to be used if who they are refering to is obvious? Or should names always be used? Also, if there's a group of, say 3, people moving from one location to another, can they be summarised as, for example, "The three stood in the pub" (or whatever)?

Thanks,
Al
Posted by: Martin, March 17th, 2006, 2:19pm; Reply: 17
Absolutely. Repeating names when it's not needed just annoys the reader. You're aiming to be as concise as possible. As long as it's clear who you're referring to, it's not a problem.




Posted by: AlMac, March 17th, 2006, 2:26pm; Reply: 18
Excellent thanks.
Posted by: AlMac, March 17th, 2006, 2:35pm; Reply: 19
Another thing quickly, sorry for double post:

Specifically, if moving from watching the TV to effectively inside the TV and maintaining the perspective of the camera; is there an easy or simplified way to show this?
Posted by: Martin, March 17th, 2006, 2:47pm; Reply: 20
I'm not sure exactly what you mean by 'maintaining the perspective of the camera'.

Maybe something like this:

INT. LIVING ROOM- NIGHT

Martin watches TV.

TV SCREEN

Stuff happens.

LIVING ROOM

Martin munches some popcorn

TV SCREEN

More stuff happens.

LIVING ROOM

Martin reaches for the remote.


You could also use an insert.

INSERT: TV SCREEN

Stuff happens

BACK TO SCENE

I'm not sure if that's the kind of thing you meant.
Posted by: AlMac, March 17th, 2006, 2:57pm; Reply: 21
I think the INSERT will work.

Basically, I need to move from watching the TV externally, to actually being at the location of where what is on TV is being filmed. Taking the example of a news report, moving from watching it on TV to being on the scene, but maintaining the same camera angle on the reporter.
Posted by: George Willson, March 17th, 2006, 6:07pm; Reply: 22
If you want to, you can actually say

INT. JIGSAW'S LAIR

The cops and such look at the black and white monitors where they find eight people in various states -- some walking, some sitting, and one unconscious.

Move through the video screen to

INT. HOUSE - DAY

The eight are as they were through the monitor.

This is if you're actually changing locations (such as was done wth The Matrix and Saw 2 video monitors).
Posted by: AlMac, March 26th, 2006, 12:44pm; Reply: 23
Excellent, thanks. That's how I've worked it.


Is there a simple or shortcut way to enter nondiegetic sound, e.g. an off screen explosion, into the action text. For example, "O/S EXPLOSION".
Posted by: George Willson, March 26th, 2006, 6:15pm; Reply: 24
Well, for that, you'd just state what the audience would actually see and hear. i.e., "An explosion outside rocks the building." This would automatically indicate to any director that we would hear an explosion at that moment.
Posted by: AlMac, March 27th, 2006, 6:25pm; Reply: 25
Thank you again George. Yours and others help has been invaluable.

And... one more question, if I may:

In dialogue can apostrophes be used to indicate something, as say, a building or team? For example for a football team: "We're going to see "Crystal Palace" today". (Or, even using ' instead of "?). Or should dialogue be simply words?

What about trying to stress a particular word, can italics be used? I know dialogue can be capitalized if the character is shouting or angry; however for stressing or reiterating a word?
Posted by: Martin, March 27th, 2006, 6:38pm; Reply: 26
Italics can be used to stress a word, but use them sparingly. Most of the time you don't need it.

As for the team, I'd just write the team name. For example:

MARTIN
We're going to see Crystal Palace today.
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