Print Topic

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Scripts  /  The Queen of Love and Beauty
Posted by: Don, March 26th, 2006, 1:06pm
The Queen of Love and Beauty by Jason Young - Short, Period Drama - The place is Edinburgh Castle. The date is the 31st May 1508. A royal jousting tournament is held whereby all the international nobles are challenged by a mysterious black knight. He disposes of one, then another, and then is finally fated against Alfonso – the Portuguese knight and the first country to enter the Transatlantic Slave Trade. Alfonso unseats him from his horse, only to find that the black knight also offers an offensive that liberates him from his horse. The two knights are on a level playing field, and the black knight wins the day. But as champion of the tournament, who will be his Queen of Love and Beauty? 8 pages - doc, format 8)
Posted by: spencerforhire, March 26th, 2006, 4:02pm; Reply: 1
Jason

Your script was very easy to read. It kept my attention throughout. The script painted good visual pictures in my mind as I read.

Some will say don't use camara direction in your script. I don't know. If you are trying to write this as if you were filming it yourself then I guess it works. If you are simply writing this on spec for someone else... I would leave out the direction.

As I read I was kept interested even though the story kind of smacked of similar stories. It was well written but left me with a little bit of a ho - hum attitude about the piece.

Anyway 4.5 out of 5. Great job.

Spencer McDonald
Print page generated: May 4th, 2024, 2:43pm