Slice by Chris Reid - Short, Horror - Four young citizens want to investigate a brutal murder scene from a year ago. Trouble occurs when they run in to the wrong person in the woods. Slice is a movie you'll "half" to read. 13 pages - doc, format 8)

Chris

Sorry buddy. I started to read and found no scene discription then no introduction to your characters. I would recommend you go back and set the scene with some description, action, and intro to your characters.

Spencer

You have no scene description or character introduction for the first two pages, the story is very cliche and does not stay consistant to what the character should do. The death scene where he cut off all his fingers, toes, and cut him, would take a long time to execute on film, and the dialogue was pretty poor. This just is not a very good effort.

dude sorry I just couldn't get into this at all.

but like they say, if you can't say anything nice.........

Brion

- I would suggest reading other scripts online and seeing how they are formatted and written just to give you an idea of what you have to work on with your next project -    

Looks like you wanted us to know what music you liked, rather than the script you wrote.

Unformatted
Cliched
Paper thin plot

It's all there... I'm just glad those "good ol'" music headers were there to keep me reading.

Baltis~

Wow. Not only did the author of this script have the same as me but he set the script in a place called Hidden Valley, and no $hit, my parents are going to an auction next week to try and buy a house in Hidden Valley. How freaky is that?

Anyway, there wasn't much of a story line here; we had teenagers going into the woods and getting butchered by a mute guy in a mask. The line about the guy ending up passed out behind the donut shop was funny, but the rest of the script was ludicrous because of all the on the nose dialogue. One way to test out your dialogue is to read it out loud so you can hear if it works or not.