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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Scripts  /  In Only Seven Days
Posted by: Don, July 25th, 2006, 6:50am
In Only Seven Days by Stewart Wadwell (MacDuff) - Short - It has taken Thomas and Kasia years to find love, now they have seven days to live the rest of their lives together. 21 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: Mr.Z, July 25th, 2006, 10:32am; Reply: 1
I'm quite impressed on how you managed to make a compelling short out of a so simple premise. Really enjoyed this one. I wanted to know the end.

*SPOILERS*

Nothing new or intriguing in the asteroid hitting the earth concept. But the dramatic structure you chose for your story, made it work. This short is a text book example to proove that telling a good story is as important as how you tell it.

I can imagine that reading this short backwards, and knowing the events chronologically would be quite boring. It was the Memento style that made it quite intriguing.

I've got hardly any beefs about this one. Only small stuff to point out.

We inmediatly gather that something is wrong with the world around Thomas and Kasia, since they're always seem to be alone. But I think you could have worked a bit more on the apocalyptic angle, to make their surroundings more intriguing and realistic. Images of the protagonist of "28 Days Later" wondering around the deserted city come to my mind. Of course, you'd have to focus more on hysteria and panic.

Thomas and Kasia call themselves by their names quite a lot.

You've got a "Henry" in p.17; I guess this was the former name for Thomas?

Overall, and as I said before, I really enjoyed reading this one. Looking forward to read something more from you.
Posted by: MacDuff, July 25th, 2006, 11:52am; Reply: 2
Hey Mr.Z,
Thanks for the read. I was unsure if I was going to submit this or not, but decided in the end. I'm not too keen on the characters I created, but I like the concept.

I have two other scripts up that I'm proud of, "Looking Down From Above" and "Rest In Peace". I think you've checked them out before.

SPOILERS...


I can't believe I left Henry in there. I checked and double checked the script countless times before submitting, and still missed that. It wasn't even the original character's name - it's a name of a character in another project I'm working on. Thanks for catching it.

Thomas and Kasia do mention each other by name a lot, but I left the passages in there for a couple of reasons. One, they were still newly be-friended and two, that I know a person who when scared\nervous - she uses people's first names a lot when talking.

I'll think about adding some shots of deserted roads etc. Thanks.


Thanks for the read!
Stew
Posted by: Heretic, July 25th, 2006, 9:31pm; Reply: 3
Hey MacDuff,

I thought that the story-telling here was absolutely great.  Your writing, of course, was excellent as well.  But, as I understand it is with you, I wasn't a huge fan of the characters.  Kasia seemed like a stereotype, while Thomas as the everyman just wasn't developed enough for me.  I think you've chosen the right characters but they need to be taken further and given more unique qualities.

Anyway, I was really impressed with this and I hope that you post a rewrite.

Chris
Posted by: MacDuff, July 25th, 2006, 10:59pm; Reply: 4
Thanks for the read Heretic!


SPOILERS...

Yeah, I'm kind of stuck with the characters at the moment. I don't want them too young, as the topic is about two thirty-somethings finding love at the wrong time. I also don't want them too old, because then they would have already experienced life, and the loss wouldn't be the same.

What to do, what to do. Maybe by taking a few weeks away from the short, I can come back and work on it again.

Thanks again!
Stew
Posted by: michel, July 27th, 2006, 1:26am; Reply: 5
Hi McDuff

Very good puzzle-like script. Very mature and clever. Nothing to say about it except a good writing quality. I'm impressed.

Michel 8)
Posted by: MacDuff, July 27th, 2006, 12:25pm; Reply: 6
Thanks for the read Michel, I appreciate the kind words.

:-)
Posted by: MacDuff, July 27th, 2006, 10:47pm; Reply: 7
Hey Pia,
Thank you so much for the review.

SPOILERS...

You are correct, that should read EXT. RIVERBANK - DAY. Good catch.

I looked up Deep Impact and could not get a specific answer as to what it would look like from earth. I basically left it as the asteroid hitting the atmosphere, but not making landfall.

I'm also glad you liked the characters.

I believe I have read your work, but never commented on it (I'll have to go check).

Thanks again!
:-)
Posted by: Zombie Sean, July 29th, 2006, 10:03am; Reply: 8
Wow this was amazing MacDuff, a very good script.

-- SPOILERS --



I like it how you started from when the astroid hit, and moved backwards to the very beginning of the panic. It took me a while to realize you were doing this until I reached Day 5 or so. I liked it how you were able to do all of this in only 21 pages.

The character development is great and I was able to feel their emotions and the dialogue was good also. Your descriptions are very well written and I was able to picture everything in my head, along with a great story.

I liked reading this and there weren't too many mistakes (I realized on page 17 you have the name HENRY instead of THOMAS). Other than that, this was great.


Sean
Posted by: MacDuff, August 1st, 2006, 12:45am; Reply: 9
Thanks Sean, I'm glad you liked the premise and characters.

The more I think of it, I don't think I'll change the characters too much in a re-write, as they have grown on me the last week or so.

Take Care.
Posted by: dmackbone21, August 2nd, 2006, 9:28am; Reply: 10
MacDuff,

I liked this a lot, until the ending that is. You had me guessing and everything was flowing nicely, but that ending sucked. No offense, but if you think about it, if the people of the world knew they were going to die there would be mass chaos and anarchy. There is no way that society would be that calm for 7 days.

Also, what happened to Thomas and Kaisa on the first day?

Why did they stop hanging out until day 3? Where did Kasia have to go?

She says "I'm sorry, this is your time during day 4" What did that mean?

I really like this piece, but you need a different ending, or at least an ending that makes a little more sense. Great script quality and no grammatical issues, that's always a major plus.

Doug
Posted by: MacDuff, August 2nd, 2006, 3:40pm; Reply: 11
Hey Doug,
Thanks for the read, I appreciate your comments.

SPOILERS...

I'm pretty sure there would be chaos in the world, but I did'nt want to focus on that, I just wanted to focus on two lonely people who found each other at the worst possible time.

Yes, there is a gap between day 1 and day 3. I wanted to leave it a mystery to the reader. The characters would have bolted to their 'homes' when the announcement was made. I showed that on day 2 with Thomas and his apartment.

When Kasia says that it is "your time", it was meant to mean that it was his time for making peace with his life and family, and doing something important before his time was up. Her time would be finding her dream home.

Thanks for your input!
:-)
Posted by: Abe from LA, August 17th, 2006, 7:17pm; Reply: 12
Okay,  MacDuff, I've been eyeing your short since it was first posted.
Just now getting an op to read, savor and review it.

"In Only Seven Days" is a pretty darn good script that impressively works the "Memento" reverse story-telling principle.

What a fast read, too.  I couldn't believe it when I hit page 20.  It felt like 10 pages.  Maybe compartment-zing the story, made it seem short.

I initially thought the dialogue was stilted, but realize soon enough that Kasia’s native language is Polish.

As I read through this page, I forgot that Thomas and Kasia were but 34 and 32. Something in their relationship struck me as so familiar (to each other), that they seemed like an older couple.

I think if you're so inclined, this could be a really nice Feature.

Beware of Spoilers…

Day 7 --  I kind of liked the way you’ve presented the last day.  I was certainly intrigued and compelled to read on.

With that said, I also think it played out in predictable fashion.

But, you have something in the scene with Breakout Potential.
As the room shakes and the end draws near, we see 2 Plates on the table. One has pancakes, the other plate has pie.  That conjures up a great image and wonderful possibilities.  So…

∑ What if Day 7 is approached as a special day in the lives of two people, who may have searched a lifetime for each other?
∑ What if Thomas seizes this opportunity to romance his lady?  He seems like a guy who isn’t very assertive.  But now is the time for him to take charge.
•      Kasia says, “I’m scared.” Then slides toward Thomas.

Thomas should slide to her.  He must be more assertive at this point in the story.

∑ And consider the contrast of opening your story with two lovers lost in each other, despite the gloom of annihilation closing in. Bold, in-control man, and princess-needing-to-be rescued woman. Conventional fairy tale…
∑ The noblest thing Thomas can do for Kasia is comfort her on this last day; Distract/shield her from the inevitable.  Just as the Benigni character did for his son in “Life if Beautiful.” . [Hey, Thomas has already seen the abyss. He attempted suicide because of it. Nothing could ever be that bad again, as long as he has Kasia.]
∑ You would also complete Thomas’ character arc in dramatic fashion.

Day 6 – starts off with a stumble.  Kasia is looking at a clipping of a viagara ad, which illustrates her dream home, and Thomas makes the comment that he used to steal apples from “her backyard.”  I thought he was talking about the woman in the ad, which made no sense.  How about adding a scene to show he’s looking down the street as he says this dialogue.

On top of P 3, Thomas comments: “I wish I could do more.”

That’s his cue.  That says he’s thinking about it.  Let him Do More.  Which leads him to the Page 7 special day.

Day 5 --  They share a bit about their interests, their pasts.  Kasia says she wants to show Thomas the clippings of her “Amiercan Dream” home and life.

• How about you use the language barrier to segue to Kasia showing Thomas the clipping?

• Example:  Kasia can’t find the appropriate English word(s) to express her American dream.  Here also is an opp to sprinkle in a few Polish words, just to add spice to the story.

     So, as Kasia struggles to express her thoughts, she remembers the viagara ad.  Now she pulls the ad and shows Thomas what she is thinking.

There is a lot of romance in language.
As this story progresses (regardless of the limited time factor), what if Thomas and Kasia attempt to learn a few key words in each other’s language?  To show progress in their intimacy.

Again, I want to emphasize how Day 7 could be a day of romance.  Thomas should pick up on Kasia’s subtle cues – on Day 5, she says “I’d like to find my perfect home.”  
She’s a romantic.  A dreamer.
Willing to walk all day to find this magical place.
So what is he willing to do?  

Day 4 – Kasia says the magic words: Nothing is forever… soon we will meet again (in reference to her parents).

She can accept death and she sees something beyond this life.
This is crucial to Day 7, because maybe Kasia is spiritual, if not religious.  She believes in heaven, or an afterlife.
How does she influence Thomas’ outlook?

Kasia takes Thomas’s hand and leads him through the cemetery gates. She takes the lead.  Thomas is a follower.
• Again -- Reverse there roles by Day 7.

I think Kasia’s dialogue is too on the nose: “That is your parents?” she asks.  How about “They looked so happy.” Or something even less – like nothing at all.

Thomas might have the only dialogue: “I was an only child.”  That itself sounds lonely.

Then follow with what you’ve written regarding his parents death.

Day 3 --  I’m not sure if it’s just too much of a coincidence that Thomas runs into Kasia at the gas station.  If he didn’t show so much interest on Day 1, it might be okay. Hmmm…?

I do like the confrontation he has with the Greasy Man.
T might be armed, but he is still more afraid than the Greasy Man, who is hardly intimidated.

T comes across as a man who will not pull the trigger.
Not confident even when the deck is stacked in his favor.
Nice job with Thomas saying “… I’m mean and I’ll shoot you.”
That’s pathetic, but speaks volumes for poor Thomas’s character.

I like that Kasia, despite being under the control of the Greasy Man, does not give Thomas away when she sees him.
It tells me that she is not prone to panic or loss of control under duress.  It shows inner strength.

And later, on Day 4, she asks Thomas “So you came at the right time then?”
That’s nice that she spins the rescue to give Thomas a pat on the back.
This is why I Like this woman.

Finally, I’m so glad you have Kasia kill (or at least shoot) the Greasy Man.  At this stage, I think Thomas’ attempt as being a hero is enough.  He takes action or reaction, but not the macho climax to the action. That’s believable.

Day 2 --  The tiny apartment is apropos.  The thinning hair tells us more about Thomas’s physical state.

I’m not a fan of the suicide bit.

He sounds aggravated, frustrated, at his wit’s end.
Not suicidal.  Nothing happens that suggests he is in emotional despair to even attempt suicide.

**** I have a thought about how to sink Thomas to his lowest point, which would come on Day 1.  This suicide scene could then work Okay.

The scene with Thomas confronting the Crazed Man doesn’t work for me. Part of the problem is that you have two scenes of Thomas sucking it up and confronting a dangerous man.  The Greasy Guy is good, Crazy guy doesn’t cut it.

But I do think that Thomas gets access to a gun. That’s a good thing.

Day 1 --- where it all begins, or ends.

I’m about to drop my biggest Bomb on you.  Make Kasia Married.  Locked in a bad marriage.  You know that Greasy guy, that should be her abusive husband.

Kasia is pretty, and perky. Talky. So it’s hard to buy into her loneliness.  But if she’s stuck in a bad relationship, we sympathize with her. We understand how this vibrant young woman can be and is lonely.

Then when she kills Greasy guy later, she is liberated.
Free to pursue her dreams.
Thomas indirectly is her liberator.

You’ve done good to have Thomas show interest in Kasia.
I like his struggles to talk to her.
And that she responds to him.
But you need to throw a bigger obstacle in Thomas’ path.
Back to what I suggested - If she’s married to Greasy Guy, then he’s the obstacle.
What do you think?

Maybe he catches Kasia talking to Thomas and punishes her on the spot.  Thomas attempts to defend her.  Greasy guy mops the floor with Thomas.  Totally humiliates him.

Now he is devastated emotionally.
Maybe this is what pushes him to attempt suicide on Day 2.
The last straw.
Later, when he confronts Greasy guy again, we will think he will get his revenge.
But the twist is that he doesn’t get his revenge.
Kasia does.

Finally, the killer asteroid is fine with me.
I could care less where the destruction comes from.

It’s a device, a ticking clock.

You can discard most of the comments here, but I know I’m right about Kasia being in a bad marriage/relationship.  That’s the catalyst to how the rest of the story plays out.

Yes, do fix the "Henry" thing. I doubled back to see if there was a Henry anywhere.

I do agree that we need to see some of the mass chaos.  Something of the city in turmoil.  It could be brief.  Looting, fighting, fires, you know, like the two LA riots...  oh, forgot, you're not from LA. LOL.

Great read, MacDuff.  Tweak this story and re-post it, or email it to me.

Oh  -- I've got this personal aversion to calling someone "silly," as an expression of affection. Eeegad.  Just me, I guess.

Abe
Posted by: Abe from LA, August 17th, 2006, 7:19pm; Reply: 13
Sorry for the ∑  I wrote the review on Word and was using bullet points.
They don't translate so well.
Posted by: MacDuff, August 17th, 2006, 9:30pm; Reply: 14
SPOILERS


Wow.

You continue to amaze me Abe, with your indepth and insightful reviews. I'm glad you liked it and I'm glad that you have given the time to read this over and give your thoughts and advise.

It is liberating to a writer when he/she sees a review from someone who has gone through their script with a fine tooth comb - at all levels.

Thank you so much for this, I will have to think on it a few days then maybe settle down with some good music and work on the re-write.

PS - I'm glad you agree that the destruction is a device to move the story forward.

Take Care,
Stewart
Posted by: MacDuff, August 17th, 2006, 10:31pm; Reply: 15
I must admit - I have thoughts to expand this into a feature length project.

You've got my brain ticking away Abe.

Thanks!
Posted by: Mr.Ripley, August 17th, 2006, 10:43pm; Reply: 16
The story was quite sad but very romantic. I also enjoyed the format style in telling the story, most appropriate.

After reading most of the comments here, I can't quite comment much in that aspect either. Except for that I think you should make this a feature length film as you mentioned on the last post.

Most of the scenes where you cut does not seem fully fleshed out or transition properly. You can probably do a day, evening, and night scene for each day to make the transitions better and flesh out the story more. I appologize for this short review but Most what I was going to say would have been repetive to the others.

Gabriel  
Posted by: Abe from LA, August 18th, 2006, 12:53am; Reply: 17
Quite frankly, Stewart, I love your characters.
Well, I love Kasia.  Fell in love with her at some point.
Weird.

There is something about her... perhaps the idea that she has this dream which even at the end of existence, still has such special meaning to her.  That she would spend her last days on earth to searching for this home with the white picket fence -- if Thomas had not been there.

And she is so forthcoming, so strong in her own way.
A romantic quality.
That's why I like that she is not a wallflower Betsy Blair type (from Marty), but an attractive woman.
It means that she could be with maybe any guy, but instead she holds out hope of meeting somebody special.

I definitely can see her being attracted to an average Joe, if he pushes the right buttons.
And I think Thomas does push those buttons.

I think Kasia can and will bring Thomas into a new world, so to speak.
She will help him realize all the possibilities.
The 7-day time factor just adds to the romantic quality.
Like star-crossed lovers.
That's a wonderful hook.

We guys should all be so lucky.
The romance coupled with all this doom and gloom is mouth-watering.

Yeah, I think it can only get so much better as a feature.
Posted by: Abe from LA, August 18th, 2006, 1:11am; Reply: 18
Oh yeah, not to belabor a point, Stewart, but another reason I like Kasia is that when she shoots Greasy Guy, she doesn't do it out of rage or revenge.  She does the deed because it must be done.  For survival.  Very cool about it.  Emotions don't get in the way.  

Here is a terrific contrast of how one person takes action versus another who seems to be putting too much thought into taking action (Thomas' case).

Kasia wonders about the consequences of shooting Greaseball later in the story, so she's not cold-hearted.

I think that how Kasia has survived here, away from her homeland.  She would never contemplate suicide.  She takes care of herself and she takes care of business.  A very interesting study, I must say.
Posted by: MacDuff, August 18th, 2006, 1:45am; Reply: 19
MAJOR SPOILERS...

Thanks again Abe.

I've been contemplating expanding the idea into a feature, but I worry about losing the strength of the characters while expanding the story.

My other worry is about the structure. If I expand the idea, can I work it in reverse? It would make it a little more difficult, but maybe possible.

I really dig the idea of Greaseball being Kasia's husband, and I've thought about a reason why they are together and why Kasia made it from Poland to the US (mail order bride maybe?).

It could be a great little story about two people falling in love in the shadow of ultimate doom, but again - will it work backwards. That's the question.

The other idea I had is giving them a goal, something that the audience would expect would make a happy ending (maybe they are journeying to an underground shelter), but in the end realize they won't make it - and decide to spend the last couple of days together, in each other's arms. But again, would this work backwards (notice my worry).

I must admit, this idea and story came rather quickly to me - it was written in one night (though a week or so with revisions and re-reads). I never thought I'd be contemplating expanding the idea and project. I must give thanks to you for the little push. I usually only dabble in horror (to date, all my features are horror), but maybe it will be liberating to write something meaningful (in dramatic terms).

To my notes I go!

I'd love to hear what you think.

Stew
Posted by: Abe from LA, August 18th, 2006, 2:00am; Reply: 20
You're concerns about whether the backward telling of the story will work.
I can't say for sure it would.
But it is worth a try.
I have enough faith in these two characters that the story will work in one fashion or another.

The goal of perhaps journeying to a shelter is legit and would add to a larger story.
I agree that they shouldn't make it to this shelter, but instead find refuge elsewhere.
Maybe the shelter is destroyed when they reach it.
Maybe the perils of venturing out in the open is too dangerous.
Maybe there will be bands of outlaws on the prowl.  Heck, there will definitely be gangs out roaming.
And perhaps rogue killers, too.

Or maybe that won't be able to reach the shelter because one of them gets hurt or sick.

But the having that goal is good.

The question is, again, will these good ideas work starting from the end and working backward.
Hmm...  you'll have to try it going forward too.
But as I say, I'm pretty certain the story line and these two lost souls will make this story work.

After all they go through, it will be so rich and satisfying for them to find there last hours, minutes in each other's arms.  Maybe that realization won't hit them until very late in the story.
An emotional journey is a great catalyst for people to fall in love.

Another thought, when you expand this, maybe Thomas and Kasia shouldn't start from a point of mutual interest in each other.  Maybe that love would be more satisfying if it comes about naturally through getting to know each other and depend on one another in a dangerous world.

Changes will have to be made, I'm beginning to see... how much change, will be determined once you expand and delve into the story and the characters.

I was thinking of the mail-order bride thing myself.  that would be very cool.  Because it adds interest to kasia's back story.  It says something about her character and how much she wants to live this dream life.
Go with it.
Posted by: Abe from LA, August 18th, 2006, 2:04am; Reply: 21
yeah, I think the two lovers meeting in the face of destruction is so cool.
Like lovers against a backdrop of war.
We need a good story like that.  Plus you'll have all those scenes of action.
Journeying to a place of hope, across a deadly terrain.

Only for Thomas and Kasia to realize that all they really have is each other.
Posted by: Abe from LA, August 18th, 2006, 4:09am; Reply: 22
Okay, I took my midnight walk.
My head is a little clearer.

Ask yourself this, Stew, why is a story told backwards so compelling?
We know the outcome without the conventional buildup.
Maybe it's our curiosity to solve the mystery.

Spoilers.

Day 7, or maybe even on Day 6, there should be something more compelling that threatens Kasia and Thomas, other than asteroid.
Haha.  Well, think about it.  Dual threats.  
Maybe the "other" is of a more personal nature.

I have some thoughts on this.
But I'd like to know what you have in mind.

Thomas and Kasia share more than just a new love.
Each gives the other something special.  Call it a gift.
And these gifts are what frames your story from end to beginning.
As well as giving each character their fulfilled arc.
Again, I'll give you my thoughts on this later.

You might also think about dropping this discussion into the WIP sections to get other writers' feedback.
Posted by: Death Monkey, August 18th, 2006, 4:47am; Reply: 23
I really liked this one. It reminded me of the Canadian film "Last Night" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0156729/) where the world is ending (for reasons not explained) and they focus on a number of people's last day on Earth. It's directed by Don Mckellar and has Sandra Oh, Sarah Polley and David Cronenberg in the cast.

It was a great decision to tell the story backwards, but I feel maybe you could cut some of the dialogue, just to enhance the state og isolation and loneliness. All the people are gone and so are the words, something like that.

It would add to the poetic nature of your script.

But I really enjoyed this one.
Posted by: MacDuff, August 18th, 2006, 1:41pm; Reply: 24
Thanks for everyone's comments. Keep them coming. The funny thing is, of all the shorts I've written, this was the least liked (by my critical self), but it seems to gaining some momentum.

I'm going to sit down the next couple of days and jot some ideas down. My main goals are to see if the structure would work full length and also, make sure nothing is taken away from the relationship - which is the core of the story.

Stew
Posted by: Abe from LA, August 18th, 2006, 4:01pm; Reply: 25

Quoted from MacDuff
The funny thing is, of all the shorts I've written, this was the least liked (by my critical self)


You've got other shorts sitting around? Posted on SS?

Anyway, good idea to take a few days or so to mull this thing over.

Posted by: MacDuff, August 18th, 2006, 4:15pm; Reply: 26
Yeah. Check out "Rest In Peace" and "Looking Down From Above". I really dig RIP, and I enjoy Looking Down From Above, but it's a bit dated now.

I also have 2 others - "Father" and "Addiction". Those are early, early work. Very rough and not up to my standards. I'll be removing them from SS as soon as I email Don, so don't worry about those ones.

:-)
Stew
Posted by: Takeshi (Guest), August 24th, 2006, 5:48am; Reply: 27
Interesting story, MacDuff.

SPOILERS

I agree with what the others have said about the asteroid premise being a fairly stale one, but by chopping up the chronological order of events, you managed to make it an intriguing tale. And it doesn’t really matter how the world ends, because the seven days preceding it, is what this story is all about.  

  I didn’t guess the ending at all and the story had a really trippy vibe to it, which I liked. The final scene with everybody gathered around the TV for the UN announcement was creepy and I thought the service station scene was a good action scene to throw in there too.

However, like Abe, I found Thomas’s line about stealing apples a little confusing, as I wasn’t sure whose yard he was referring to.

But overall I thought this was pretty good.
Posted by: MacDuff, August 24th, 2006, 1:59pm; Reply: 28
Thanks Chris. Yeah, I'm going to tweak those two minor errors.

I'm also contemplating expanding this into a feature, but still working on the ideas for it to see if it will pan out.

Thanks for reading!
:-)
Posted by: James McClung, August 24th, 2006, 6:17pm; Reply: 29
SPOILERS...

This was an excellent read. I really liked the backwards storytelling ala Memento/Irreversible. I think it made the story much more engaging as many questions arose that were subsequently answered in scenes preceeding them. I thought it also gave a nice twist to the "disaster movie." The personalized nature of the story also put a good spin on the subgenre.

Not much to fuss about here except on page 8, Kasia says "That is your parents?" I understand she's Polish but I don't think the line should be phrased this way. It's too bizarre. Also, on page 11, Thomas says "I have a gun and I'm not afraid to use it" twice. Have him say it once. It doesn't work twice. It sounds corny, awkward, and, ultimately, redundant.

Finally, I didn't really understand the significance of Day 2. All the other days answered at least one question of the day after it (uh. before it, I think you know what I mean) but this one didn't. It did offer some incite on Thomas' character but I think it needs more.

All in all, solid short. Good job, Stew.
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