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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Screenwriting Class  /  Question about action
Posted by: JaimeM, August 8th, 2006, 8:25am
I have a question about an action sequence. In my script I am writing, there is a sword fight. Now should I go into detail about the fight saying person 1 does this, person 2 does that etc... Or just leave it vague such as the two men stand in one place, trading feints, thrusts and parries etc..and would leave it up to a director to decide?

Thanks in advance

Posted by: bert, August 8th, 2006, 8:37am; Reply: 1
There is no firm answer to that, Jamie.  It's a question of style.

You don't want to get too bogged down in detail -- things need to flow -- but if you have some specific actions in mind -- something fancy you know you want to include -- by all means put it in.

The best thing to do is read some produced scripts that have swordfights in them.  Skip ahead to those parts and see what they have done.

Chances are you will find things you like and things that don't work so great.

Take what you like and adapt it to your own purposes.
Posted by: bert, August 8th, 2006, 9:09am; Reply: 2
From "The Princess Bride" (with all of Goldman's CUT TO's removed haha):

A ROCKY STAIRCASE leading to a turret-shaped plateau, and the Man In Black is retreating like mad up the steps and he can't stop Inigo -- nothing can stop Inigoo -- and in a frenzy, the Man In Black makes every feint, tries every thrust, lets go with all he has left. But he fails. Everything fails. He tries one or two final desperate moves but they are nothing.

          MAN IN BLACK
     You're amazing!

          INIGO
     I ought to be after twenty years.

And now the Man In Black is smashed into a stone pillar, pinned there under the six fingered sword.

          MAN IN BLACK
     There's something I ought to tell you.

          INIGO
     Tell me.

          MAN IN BLACK
     I am not left-handed either.

And now he changes hands, and at last, the battle is fully joined.

To Inigo's amazement, he is being forced back down the steps. He tries one style, another, but it all comes down to the same thing -- the Man In Black seems to be in control. And before Inigo knows it, the six-fingered sword is knocked clear out of his hand.

Inigo retreats, dives from the stairs to a moss-covered bar suspended over the archway. He swings out, lands, and scrambles to his sword

The Man in Black watches Inigo, then casually tosses his sword to the landing where it sticks in perfectly. Then the Man In Black copies INIGO. Not copies exactly, improves. He dives to the bar, swings completely over it like a circus performer and dismounts with a 9.7 backflip.

Inigo stares  in awe.

          INIGO
     Who are you?!

          MAN IN BLACK
     No one of consequence.

          INIGO
     I must know.

          MAN IN BLACK
     Get used to disappointment.
Posted by: JaimeM, August 8th, 2006, 10:09am; Reply: 3
Thanks for the replies. Here is an excerpt from Pirates of the caribbean. They do not show anything either. But I assume if there is something specific I want in the fight i'd add it otherwise i can just do a broad fight scene.

That goes for all fight scenes as well?

                                     JACK
                         Do you think this is wise, boy?
                         Crossing blades with a pirate?

                                     WILL
                         You threatened Miss Swann.

                                     JACK
                         Only a little.

               In response, Will assumes an en garde position. Jack appraises
               him, unhappy to see Will knows what he's doing.

               Jack attacks. The two men stand in one place, trading feints,
               thrusts and parries with lightning speed, almost impossible
               to follow. Will has no trouble matching Jack.

                                     JACK
                         You know what you're doing, I'll
                         give you that... Excellent form...
                         But how's your footwork? If I step
                         here --

               He takes a step around an imaginary circle. Will steps the
               other way, maintaining his relationship to Jack.

                                     JACK
                         Very good! And if I step again, you
                         step again...
                              (continuing to step
                              around the circle)
                         And so we circle, circle, like dogs
                         we circle...

               They are now exactly opposite their initial positions.
Posted by: Mr.Z, August 8th, 2006, 10:40am; Reply: 4
Bert already gave you some good advice I think; I'll just add a few thoughts.

In fight scenes (with swords, fists, light sabers, or whatever) don't go into describing blow by blow; leave that to the fight choreographer (he will handle this stuff anyways, no matter what you write on the page).

Just describe the basics of the fight. In Anakin vs. Obi Wan duel it's ok to describe that the fight is very fast, that Obi Wan is the one retroceding or Anakin fights with more rage, etc. You can also give a brief description of the different locations on which the fight takes place, as they both move from one to another; it's relevant since the fight becomes more dangerous for them as they move closer to the lava.

But if there is something specific one fighter does, something that stands out from an ordinary punch or swing, you can describe it. For example: The scene where Legolas takes down a full-equiped Oliphaunt, Anakin amputating Count Dooku's arms, etc.
Posted by: jerdol, August 10th, 2006, 2:54am; Reply: 5
It depends.  If you're writing the next Matrix, featuring unique, new kinds of fighting, or that have a very important artistic or stylistic flair, you should at minimum note that.  If you're just writing a battle that's in your plot, but don't care about the details yourself, it's okay to just write "they fight", though be warned that this is very likely to distort the "1 page=1 minute" rule, which is probably why the LOTR movies were absurdly long.
Here's my suggestion.  If you envision every detail of the fight in your mind, the detail is probably important, and you should write it all.  If you have to actively think of how the battle would go, because you had only gone over the general idea in your mind earlier, it's probably less important and you should leave it to the director.  So write however much detail you think of it now.

Note that whatever you do, the director will film it according to his vision, and if you explain every single thrust, it will all get overturned anyway.
Posted by: JaimeM, August 10th, 2006, 7:38am; Reply: 6
Thanks for the replies.

The fight scenes I will probably go for are basic ones. I figured that who ever did the movie would do it in their vision anyway. Just wasn't sure. I will go for the basic general idea type of scene with minimal details unless it was something special/important.
Posted by: Lon, August 28th, 2006, 7:03pm; Reply: 7
One thing to keep in mind about writing a physical confrontation is that people show their true colors when they're throwing down.  

My opinion:  when writing fights, you want to give the tone/feeling/subtext of the fight more than loading it down with details, but add in details if they add insight to the character.  A "clean" fighter wouldn't pull hair or thumb your eye, but a "dirty" fighter would (incidentally, my experience, no such thing as dirty fighting, it's all about not getting your ass kicked lol) -- but this is movie/character fighting, which is a totally different animal.  

Look at the Pai Mei/Bride fight in Kill Bill 2.  That fight reveals all you need to know about the characters.  Pai Mei's the old master.  The Bride is the young brawler.  She uses every technique she can think of, she puts her all into each blow she's all about hurting her opponent and she's a sweaty, out-of-breath mess.  But the wise old master is all about NOT being hit, rather than hitting back.  He need only side-step her or let her walk into a counter-attack, and he's expended zero energy and hasn't even broken a sweat.  None of his moves are wasted; all of hers are.

Now THAT'S character as seen through conflict.
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), August 28th, 2006, 7:11pm; Reply: 8
Don't bother writing each parry, thrust and slash.  Fight coordinators do that and they won't be following your direction.  Also, it would triple the lengtht of the script.  Don't believe me?  Try writing a fight sequence, step by step, from a movie.

Write the dialogue.  Write where the fight goes to (inside/outside/escalator) and anything important to the story (like drawing first blood and who dies).

When I wrote The Burnout, my fight sequences only got as detailed as "Colleen attacks with a sereies of kick and punch combinations.  She a very experienced fighter.  Schroeder, however, blocks every attack."

The fight coordinator may be a karate expert, which will mean a lot of kicks and punches.  If he's a judo master, he'll concentrate on throws and rolls.  If he's into ju-jitsu, then there's going to be a combination of everything.



Phil
Posted by: George Willson, August 31st, 2006, 6:51am; Reply: 9
The only time you really need to put any detail into a fight is if you happen to be writing it for an online presentation to a virtual series audience. Virtual series are scripts written specifically to be presented online to a regular audience, and those types of stories are more specific than normal spec scripts. I wrote Fempiror as a normal spec and then threw it out there in the vein of a virtual series. One of the bits of feedback was that the fight scenes weren't exciting. Why? Because all it mentions is that they fight and a general idea of style or character.

For specs, no detail needed. If it's part of a virtual series, don't go overboard, but it needs a bit more.

And as for LOTR, I noticed a lot of points were the screen imagery far outweighed the page description. One of my faves was the lighting of the beacons. On the page, it was a slug line and a sentence. On screen, it was a good five minutes passing over all the mountains lighting every beacon inbetween Minas Tirith and Edoras.
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