Hero Complex - Print Topic

Posted by: Don, December 30th, 2006, 10:02am

Hero Complex by Brandon Taylor - Drama, Comedy - A twentysomething slacker poses as a superhero to win a young girl's heart, and unwittingly attracts the attention of two former super-villains who will stop at nothing to destroy their new "competition". 91 pages - pdf, format 8)

Posted by: thenewpulp, December 30th, 2006, 2:15pm; Reply: 1

This story's pretty close to my heart, oddly. I hope it goes over well.

Posted by: bitteroldman, December 30th, 2006, 9:25pm; Reply: 2

Okay.  I'm at page 15.  I always hate to say this because I feel like someone will take it the wrong way, but trust me, it's a compliment.  Not a back-handed one either.  So far, I don't feel as if  you've wasted my time.  That's important.  Do I think it's great.  No, but I want to keep reading to see where you take me.

A few concerns:

Maybe there is too much talking in the beginning?  I don't know.  I felt the pace was kinda slow.  Funny moments.  Some seemed natural, others forced.

Using "beat".  That slows the reading down for sure.  Have to make the script easy to read.

So far, not bad.  I'm off to read more between changing diapers and rocking the baby.

Posted by: thenewpulp, January 2nd, 2007, 10:20pm; Reply: 3

No more takers? If anyone wants to do some exchange reviews (for this, or my other script Equalizer) I'd be glad to do so.

Thanks.

Posted by: tonkatough, January 3rd, 2007, 5:07am; Reply: 4

Oh, I just noticed this. yeah I will review your script in exchange for my script Perplexity Grove in the comedy section.

Posted by: bitteroldman, January 5th, 2007, 8:28pm; Reply: 5

Okay, will be quick as I just finished this and am heading out the door.

The idea is good.  Funny.  As I mentioned, the "beats" really slow the story down.  One major problem I have with this script is that the villians found out who Trevor was way too quickly IMO.  I would have like to seen him maybe safe a couple of more people and them do a little more legwork all the while getting pissed off each time he does something else heroic.

The ending.  I'm not a big fan of it.  Maybe because I felt that we arrived there in a hurry and I wanted to see how Shephard and Hound learned of Trevor's identity.  Also, SPOILER, I don't like how trevor was pissed at Brad because he had to save him and couldn't save Mara.

Maybe more later.  Mrs. Bitter is calling.  Overall, I thought it was a fun script to read.