Despair is as simple as a Phone call by Michel J. Duthin - Short, Drama - One great moment of solitude or "Happiness is as simple as a phone call" antithesis. 5 pages - pdf, format 8)

++++++++
Don's edit.

Michel's Despair is as Simple as a Phone Call has been filmed as Pro Kopf.  The trailer is awesome.  At the end, go full screen and you can see lower left corner Michel's name.  

Pro Kopf - Trailer (english subtitles) from Sascha Zimmermann on Vimeo.

The film has been shown in five festivals thus far and is also in the official selection of the Bronx Film Festival - USA in December.  

Haha I've read Happiness Is As Simple As A Phone Call before and I was kind of expecting a funny ending, and once I read this, I did!

This was good, but something bothers me to think that everyone who has a maid expects them to be hispanic, or at least that's a maid's stereotype. Is Anita Hispanic? It sounds Hispanic. Oh great, listen to me...I'm starting to be stereotypical myself...


POSSIBLE SPOILERS

All in all, this was a good short, you'd think Anita would hesitate a bit before shooting the couple, but if she was poor, then I could understand. She's just a woman who needs a lot of money.

Once again, I loved the ending.

Sean

Haha, what a great short. I saw what was coming, but still. The "tiny fridge" bit stopped the flow for me. This was executed very well, good job Michel!

Yeah I got a good laugh out of this short.

I didn't read the Happiness script, but this one was pretty good so I might have to check the other one out.


Cheers, Chismeister.

Very good Michel.  

I thought this was quite amusing. And your use of the language was excellent.  Keep up the good work.

Nice one, Michel; I didn't see that coming at all. Lol.

Just a couple of typos; Page 1 read: He open the fridge, instead of opens the fridge.

Page 2: “She in the bedroom etc”.  Should be “She’s in the bedroom etc”

Page 3: Max says “Yeap” instead of “Yep”  

Hi everyone!

Thanks you all for your feedback. It's true I took some pleasure to write this. I'm glad you all liked it.

Regarding the typos Chris, I'm mad at me. I read ten times and always these ones. Grrrr...

Anita? Hispanic? No, she's Swedish (lol)

Michel 8)

Quoted Text Anita? Hispanic? No, she's Swedish (lol)

Oh...haha...:B I guess I was the one being stereotypical...Anyways, great script and, uh, keep up the good work!

Sean

Good story. It had the best ending possible. On the flip side, this story could have been told in a much tighter (less page count) manner. And the dialogue was not believeable. A Spanish maid would not say the things she said. Having said that, Spanish maids are very loyal and would not pick up a gun and kill anyone, especially over the phone. You need to work on giving her a better reason. In your desciptons you tend to overwrite. Show us who the character is and what he or she does without dressing them. That is the directors job.

Spencer

Hey Michel,

I laughed at the ending of this, but like others saw it coming as I neared the conclusion.  Still good stuff though.

I also read your 'Happiness...' script, is there something going on with you and mobile phones?  Have you had a bad experience with them yourself? lol

Anywho good stuff mate

This is another old-joke-turned-to-screenplay script.  The second or third one I've read in recent weeks.  It makes a better joke than short, IMHO.


Phil

Just signed the contract for an upcoming shooting in Germany (!!!)  

It'll be my fifth short to be produced.

Michel 8)

Fun (and short) bit!

Okay, I'm leaving aside the fact that it stretches believability beyond the breaking point (that the maid would agree so quickly, or that Max would turn homicidal so easily, either.)

But...that's okay.  A fun read.  And enjoyable for what it is.

Cheers,

-WV

I agree with Spencer. It needs work, but it's still a good scirpt. I loved the ending.

Pro Kopf - Trailer (english subtitles) from Sascha Zimmermann on Vimeo.

The trailer of "Despair..." filmed in Germany as Pro Kopf

Shout out to Michel.  

The film has been shown in five festivals thus far and is also in the official selection of the Bronx Film Festival - USA in December.  Perhaps Janet and Phil and give is a report.

Pro Kopf - Trailer (english subtitles) from Sascha Zimmermann on Vimeo.

Congratulations Michel!!!! :)

Thanks Breanne..... 8)

Just read the script. Oh teh LULZ! Actually made me laugh out loud.

:D awesome job. :D

Congrats on getting this filmed!!!!

I read the script, and it made me literally laugh out loud - not just type LOL, but really laugh... you get the picture.

Here's to your continued success!!   ;D

Watched the whole film last night. Great direction.... Worth to watch.....

L0ve the ending :) Congrats :)

Very good script, there's few that can actually make me smile. :)

As said before, I would expect some more hesitation from the maid, but who knows the story behind her except for you? Former assassin maid who got confused between jobs, maybe?

I've just been told that PRO KOPF has been accepted into this years Short Film Corner at Cannes Film Festival. Very excited and so so proud of the movie.

Last year it was Silent Dark Eyes.

8)

Michel

Congrats Michel

That's incredible :)

Mark

Quoted from michel I've just been told that PRO KOPF has been accepted into this years Short Film Corner at Cannes Film Festival. Very excited and so so proud of the movie. Last year it was Silent Dark Eyes. 8) Michel

Wow, two years in a row!
You must be very proud. :D

Congrats,
E.D.

https://vimeo.com/117147918

The full film is now online, for free, for everyone.

Enjoy

Michael,

Some comments can lead to despair.  Take all good ones to heart, deep six the rest.

Nice job.  Good surprise ending.  I'm not sold on the maid's quick acceptance of the offer.  And I think the man might hae started lower, working up to the eventual amount.  Then, there's the bit about the location of the gun.  How can the man know the man about to be killed keeps a gun in the same place.  In fact, how does the man know the layout of the apartment?  Now, those problems are easily solved, but the audience will spot them immediately and not give the film the attention it deserves.  

With a bit of rewriting, you can persuade the maid in a more believeable fashion and get past the obvious logic problems.

Good job.

Best
Richard

Full Movie

PRO KOPF (short film) from Sascha Zimmermann on Vimeo.

Michel,

I have to say that I prefer the beginning as it was filmed. I believe it better sets up the rest of the story and doesn't give away too much too soon because it leads you to believe the film is going in a completely different direction. However, the ending is classic. The only question is why would he be "livid" instead of shocked or surprised? I enjoyed it immensely.

Ian

Congratulations, Michel! The film is flawless - I'm sure you are happy with the result.  :)

Congratulations, I see from the thread it's been a few years but still - you must be chuffed about this.