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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Getting to know you, getting to know all about you...  /  Zombie Attack!
Posted by: Zack, May 19th, 2007, 9:00pm
I'd like some feed back on a short film I directed. Here's the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY1nHhKzWmc

Any feedback is greatly appreciated! Thanks.
Posted by: Elmer, May 19th, 2007, 9:30pm; Reply: 1
This was a funny little short. Very 1930-ish. Making it black and white and everything helped the film a lot. It wouldn't have been as funny in color, though I don't know why...

Pretty good for a 15 minute production time.

Great job! :D

-Rubix
Posted by: Zack, May 19th, 2007, 9:34pm; Reply: 2
Thanks for the review Rubix. I am very proud of this movie. I  knew it would be good while we were filming, but it turned out much better than I could have imagined.

Anyone else who wants to see it just send me your email and I'll get it to you.

Zack
Posted by: Pete B. Lane, May 21st, 2007, 3:43pm; Reply: 3
I took a look at the short (and it is short, just over a minute). It actually is pretty amusing. The B+W and the music work nicely. The funniest part was the end where the victim clearly looks down at his mark where he's supposed to fall and the zombie is trying hard not to laugh (he definitely looks like he's smiling). I would've liked to have seen the zombie take, or about to take, a bite out of the victim's arm or something.

Anyway, that was a minute well spent. ;) You should stick this on YouTube, if you haven't already.
Posted by: Zack, May 21st, 2007, 4:21pm; Reply: 4
Thanks for the review Pete. Andrew(the zombie) was smiling throughout most of the movie. Yes, the victom did look down, but that was intentional. In old movies those kind of things are always obvious. i don't know how to put stuff on youtube, so I hope the movie gets some attention through this site. Again, thanks for the review.
Posted by: Pete B. Lane, May 21st, 2007, 4:42pm; Reply: 5

Quoted from Zack
i don't know how to put stuff on youtube...


Oh man, it's ridiculously easy. Just go there and sign up, you'll see. Your film is already in an accepted format. You may get some good attention here, but the odds of you getting attention there is much higher.

And you're welcome, thanks for letting me look at it.
Posted by: Heretic, May 21st, 2007, 5:04pm; Reply: 6
Just out of curiosity, why is it that this was done in under fifteen minutes?  Was that a specific challenge, or did you just decide to shoot something quickly?
Posted by: Zombie Sean, May 21st, 2007, 5:32pm; Reply: 7
Hey, yo, Zack, hook me up with this entertainment filled with the creatures of the live recently deceased. I'd like to view it with my sight-seeing organs.

Sean
Posted by: Zack, May 21st, 2007, 5:52pm; Reply: 8
"Just out of curiosity, why is it that this was done in under fifteen minutes?  Was that a specific challenge, or did you just decide to shoot something quickly?"- Heretic

I only had a half hour to turn something in for photography class, so I grabbed 2 of my friends and a camera. It was filmed in 15 minutes, and then edited in 15 minutes. I barely got it in on time. By the way, have you watched it yet?

"You may get some good attention here, but the odds of you getting attention there is much higher."- Pete

I think I'll see how it does here. If it goes un-noticed, then I'll put it on youtube.

Anyone who wants to watch, just send me your email adress and I'll get it to you asap. Thanks.



Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), May 21st, 2007, 6:28pm; Reply: 9
You had only a half hour to turn something in?  Was this the time allowed?  Or did you wait until the last minute, little Mister?

I honestly didn't get any of this.  I understand it was something of a spoof on zombie flicks, but I just didn't get it.  What, exactly, was the assignment?


Phil
Posted by: Zack, May 21st, 2007, 7:28pm; Reply: 10
I put things off till the last minute, (a habit I hope to break). The assignment was to turn in a picture, but I talked to my teacher and he agreed to letting me do a short film.
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), May 21st, 2007, 7:59pm; Reply: 11

Quoted from Zack
I put things off till the last minute, (a habit I hope to break). The assignment was to turn in a picture, but I talked to my teacher and he agreed to letting me do a short film.


Was the assignment an excercise in lighting?  Or camera angles?  Story telling?  Or anything in particular?


Phil
Posted by: Zack, May 21st, 2007, 8:02pm; Reply: 12
Creativity. I got a 105% on the film.
Posted by: Heretic, May 21st, 2007, 8:15pm; Reply: 13
Well mostly I just don't see the point.  I guess the interesting thing about it was the juxtaposition of a zombie story filmed in the tone of a silent-era comedy.  Past that interesting (and funny!) idea, though, this was inconclusive and pointless.

Some of the shots were really out of place due to the fact that they didn't look like the aforementioned silent-era comedies.  The pacing was slow, there were no surprises, the editing was sloppy, and there was nothing out of the ordinary, or interesting, about the story.

On the other hand, what the hey, you did it in half an hour.  I think you could recut this into a much tighter piece, and I really do like the central concept.  Just not my cup of tea.

Also, the exercise was on creativity?  Wierd.
Posted by: Zack, May 21st, 2007, 9:24pm; Reply: 14
"Also, the exercise was on creativity?  Wierd."- Heretic

Is that a bad thing?

"The pacing was slow, there were no surprises, the editing was sloppy, and there was nothing out of the ordinary, or interesting, about the story."- Heretic

It was only a minute long! How is it slow? This was the first time I ever edited something, not to mention I did it all in a half hour. I thought I did pretty good for how inexperienced I am. About the story, it's more of a scene than a story.

Anyways, thanks for the review. Thanks for being honest.

Posted by: Shelton, May 21st, 2007, 9:33pm; Reply: 15

Quoted from Zack
"Also, the exercise was on creativity?  Wierd."- Heretic

Is that a bad thing?

"The pacing was slow, there were no surprises, the editing was sloppy, and there was nothing out of the ordinary, or interesting, about the story."- Heretic

It was only a minute long! How is it slow? This was the first time I ever edited something, not to mention I did it all in a half hour. I thought I did pretty good for how inexperienced I am. About the story, it's more of a scene than a story.

Anyways, thanks for the review. Thanks for being honest.



Zack,

You really need to learn how to use the quote button in the upper right hand corner.
Posted by: Zack, May 21st, 2007, 9:47pm; Reply: 16

Quoted from Shelton


Zack,

You really need to learn how to use the quote button in the upper right hand corner.


ha! if i would have known it was that easy I would have done it long ago!


I'm a little slow... :P
Posted by: chism, May 21st, 2007, 10:22pm; Reply: 17
Not a bad little short. I spose this was more of a learning thing than an attempt at artistic filmmaking. Props for throwing it all together so quickly. I can't really say that I enjoyed it, zombies aren't really my thing, but it was only a minute long so I also can't say that I didn't enjoy it.

In the words of James Cameron, shoot something, put your name on it, you're a filmmaker. You are a filmmaker now, go make more.

Just as a side question, where did you get the music?


Matthew the Chism has spoken.
Posted by: Zack, May 21st, 2007, 10:26pm; Reply: 18
I downloaded some 50's music and stuck it on without even listening to it. It's a miracle that it matched what was going on onscreen! Thanks for the view!
Posted by: Shelton, May 21st, 2007, 10:33pm; Reply: 19
I still say your zombie walks like Frankenstein's monster.

This is how zombies should walk....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MpfLyUXRjs

CLIP IS RATED R FOR LANGUAGE
Posted by: Heretic, May 21st, 2007, 10:39pm; Reply: 20
Exercise on creativity...bad?  No, not at all.  I dunno, just never encountered something exactly like that in any of my media-related courses.

I don't mean to sound harsh.  However, the fact that it's only a minute long doesn't, or shouldn't, really affect storytelling.  The reason it seemed slow to me is that it didn't really seem to be going anywhere.

Check this out: Spike Jonze's Ikea Commercial.  

So much story and emotion can be put into one minute (not that you or I or anybody should be quite on part with Mr. Jonze at this point...)!

But again, I don't mean to be harsh at all.  I recognize that it was done in half an hour, and definitely fair enough if it was your first time editing.  As a short piece, I don't really enjoy it.  As experimentation and education for you, I think it's great.  Keep 'em coming.
Posted by: bert, May 22nd, 2007, 6:13am; Reply: 21

Quoted from Zack
I originally started this thread on the General Chat board. A moderator moved it here....


Now on the correct board.  Better than WIP, at any rate.

The B&W with music approach was the highlight.  Your zombie actor needs to watch a few more zombie films.  Had the title not mentioned zombies, I would have had no idea what he was supposed to be.  He looked more like a sleepwalker than anything.

I also would have liked to see a little more at the end.  Not necessarily blood & guts -- but some kind of a punchline to make it unique, you know?

That's YOUR challenge as a writer -- to make your work stand out -- and you kind of copped out here.  I was expecting something clever, but didn't get it.

But it was certainly amusing enough.  The music saved it, for sure.
Posted by: Zack, May 22nd, 2007, 10:19am; Reply: 22
Thanks Bert. Had I had more time, I definetlty would've done morew with this. But oh well. The music fits the film perfectly in my opinion.
Posted by: Mr.Ripley, May 23rd, 2007, 3:27am; Reply: 23
The clip reminded me of those 1920's Charlie Chaplin silent films. I found it humourous especially the scene shot from the side. Congrats. What camera did you use since the B&W footage looks authentic?
Posted by: Zack, May 23rd, 2007, 9:33pm; Reply: 24
Thanks for the view Riplely. My personal favorite shot is when the zombie is hit with the tennis ball. I laugh everytime. As for the camera, it's a 2R800 Canon DVC. (at least that's what it says on the side of it).
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