Deadly Deal by Ashley Ali - Action - A ragged young urchin from the rough streets of Hong Kong flees to the treacherous dangers of the mountains, after he is convinced he has killed a police officer.  High up in the peak of the mountains, he encounters a semi retired Triad boss who is well versed in the ancient art of kung fu. It is here he seeks sanctuary, whilst being taught the way of the assassin.  Fast forward twenty years, we meet TONY, a hardened criminal who has travelled to America to find his missing brother, DANNY, who was adopted when their mother tragically died.  At first, Tony tries to earn a living the honest way, but when that fails he is drawn into the dark circles of the criminal underworld. He emerges a ruthless hitman, chillingly skilled with a variety of weapons, working for a notorious gangster named JACK. 99 pages - rtf, format 8)

Any tips or advice would be much obliged. Thanks

Not for nothing else, but if you want others to read your script, start off by reading theirs. This was submitted in June and today is your first post? Not quite contributing to the community vibe. I'll try to look at it later.

Thanks, only just figured out how to use this thing.

Sorry buddy but it just wasn't grabbing me. The beginning was just really wordy and over descriptive. How do birds pass judgement anyway. The dialogue is cliche. The characters are retread. I do like how you tried to make the main guy a little OCD. Anyway, I tried but it was rough. Sorry. The title suggested sounded like an old HBO "Thursday Night Action World Premier" and the rest didn't to much.

Dony worry cheif thanks for reading the thing anyway. Just working on a couple of others, see what happens.