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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Scripts  /  Puss Love
Posted by: Don, July 26th, 2007, 7:01pm
Puss Love by Rion Martell - Short, Comedy - Craven Cashmere, a young movie star makes fun of  a girl delivering pizza and later falls in love with her. 15 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: EBurke73, July 26th, 2007, 9:01pm; Reply: 1
At first I thought this would be about a cat.  The pus here has one 's.'  Anyway, The character's arc works nicely in that he tries so many methods that are doomed to failure to keep his self-image intact.  I also lied that it was some sort of bodily issue that causes his problem as opposed to some mystical force punishing him.  Almost as though he's punishing himself.  I just wish he wasn;t such a moron for 85% of the script.  80% is fine, but we need that extra 5% in the front to make us want to root for him.  As far as we're concerned, he's getting his comeuppance.  Great.  Why would we care about his redemption late?  I know this is a lowbrow comedy, but in order for any script to work, we still have to care for the lead.  We need something in the beginning to make him worth our wanting him to find a way out of his situation.  That little tweak will make a big difference.
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