Okay, maybe my mind is in the gutter or maybe you have mixed metaphors or something but the line
"I feel I deserve
to burn down below," made me think of Chlamydia.  

And, uh, 'pulling blanks?'
Ya, I'm gonna leave that one alone.

Kerosene right? That's the title you were going for, or is the girl's name Kara or something?

This might not make a bad song.

Try this narrative exercise please.
Sit in a crowded place and write down every thing you observe. No author intrusion, no similes or metaphors, and definitely do not write in 1st person.
It'll make you feel like Mark Twain on steroids. Or Liv Tyler with polio. Either way you'll suffer in a way that'll be interesting to the rest of us.