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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Scripts  /  Mister D.
Posted by: Don, September 7th, 2007, 5:46pm
Mister D. by Darren Higham - Short - While Mister D. waits for his latest client to show up for his appointment he contemplates his life and work.  6 pages - pdf, format 8)

Mister D's Conundrum by Darren Higham - Short - Mister D. is asked a question that even he doesn't know the answer to. 9 pages - pdf, format 8)

Mister D. Makes a Stand by Darren Higham - Short, Drama - Mister D. does something unexpected. 8 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: ABennettWriter, September 7th, 2007, 6:25pm; Reply: 1
Darren, that was a cute script. Who knew Mr Death could be so witty?

A few punctuation errors, though. A period would be nice after "door" on the first page. An ellipsis could be used on the bottom of page 2, just so the readers know that there's more to the sentence. Another ellipsis is needed on the last page too.

You probably know this, but there isn't a character arc. Nothing changes from the first page to the last. It feels a little flat. Maybe if he felt remorse for it. I know, ten trillion people have died since he started working, but it might be nice if he didn't want to do it. Or were you influenced by Dexter?

I expected a dinosaur joke and was disappointed I didn't get one.

I think you're a good writer and I'll be keeping my eye out for more of your scripts.
Posted by: Blakkwolfe, September 7th, 2007, 10:44pm; Reply: 2
Hey Darren;
I liked this short. The conversation with Mister D seemed very relaxed and natural. Dialogue was nicely broken with
little actions...The biting of the apple, the apple falling to the ground, he sighs...Funny! I also like the fact that it works in real time, following the one minute per page rule. Liked the line of him being late for his becoming late.
Good ending, although the fact that he was a serial killer (assumedly from his collection) wasn't really critical to the story, as anyone else could have been (and will be, I suppose) in the same situation. Nice Job!

Posted by: James McClung, September 7th, 2007, 11:20pm; Reply: 3
I enjoyed this one a lot. It's a simple premise but I think you pulled it off quite nicely. I enjoyed the casualness and the mockumentary feel about it. Death always makes for good satire. Even though this is definitely an audience conscious piece, I think Mister D. should be talking to someone. Perhaps someone could be interviewing him throughout? That should tie into the mockumentary feel nicely. Also, I'd like to see Mr. Shelton (not you, Mike :p) die in the end. This script is basically all talk and for the most part, it works. But if there's going to be any action, and I think there should be, you might as well stick it in at the end. You can even throw in an extra punchline afterwards. I think it'd make for a good closer.
Just some thoughts.

Anyway, this was definitely an entertaining read. I just think it needs a little more pizazz. Emphasis on a little more. I think this is pretty fun already.
Posted by: mcornetto (Guest), September 8th, 2007, 12:46am; Reply: 4
Cute story Darren.

I know this is your first short and you did a very good job with it. I hope you do more.

A couple of suggestions.  

Cut down on the set descriptions.  You don't really need to tell us anything about the set unless it is important to the story.

Avoid mentioning the camera. It didn't really bother me in the context you used it but it really bothers lots of other people.

I liked the banter of Mr D but I didn't really get the impression that a mythic semi-godlike being was addressing me until the end.  If you can bring some of the menacing tone from the end to the begining.

Well done.
Posted by: Gaara, September 8th, 2007, 5:06am; Reply: 5
Thanks for the reads and I am glad that you basically enjoyed it despite its flaws.

Well I am happy to reveal that I have just submitted a new version of Mister D. in which there is an interviewer asking questions and we get to see the death of Mister Shelton.

Oh and as for Mister Shelton being a serial killer...good bit of spotting. Tho I can reveal that the next client of Mister D. will not be.

(^ very subtle hint to a sequel  :P ^)
Posted by: tomson (Guest), September 8th, 2007, 9:57am; Reply: 6
Darren,

I liked this short of yours. Quite a bit even.

I know your a Brit as soon as I read the washing machine in the kitchen! Haha.

I found myself chuckling through this script. Not LOL, but I had a smile on my face throughout reading it. It was like a mockumentary, nice and relaxed. Never felt like you were trying to be funny. It just was anyway. Loved the apple part!

I like how he has to sit around and wait for people to show up for their deaths.

I liked how it ended too with Mr. Shelton dying because he sees Mr. D.

Good Job!!

Pia
Posted by: Gaara, September 8th, 2007, 10:09am; Reply: 7
Thanks for the read Pia. I guess we are even now.

You are right about the fact that I was never trying to be deliberately funny. I merely wrote the kind of things I thought death would rant about (in a relaxed style) if he was actually asked what he felt.
Posted by: Gaara, September 8th, 2007, 7:54pm; Reply: 8
revised draft is up
Posted by: ABennettWriter, September 8th, 2007, 8:13pm; Reply: 9
I like it better, but there are a few errors.

I got tired of noting every mistake. I see a lot of small errors, like missing commas and such.
Posted by: Gaara, September 9th, 2007, 7:40am; Reply: 10
Yeah I have fixed those little things Abs, thanks for telling me about them

But before I resubmit it, is there anything else, story wise, that people think I should add, change or omit altogether?
Posted by: ReaperCreeper, September 9th, 2007, 9:37pm; Reply: 11
Hey Darren. This was a pretty light-hearted short. I never stopped smiling as I read it. The only thing I didn't like was the ending. I didn't feel like it closed the book appropiately. Maybe a bit more emphasis on the Reaper's words would be nice.

Work a little bit on your punctuation. I could see a few missing periods. But it was nothing big, really. The script was good for the most part.

I thought of Final Destination when the Reaper mentioned sometimes people came late to their deaths. It was pretty funny.

I really enjoyed this. There really wasn't a conflict, a character change, or anything, but it stands on its own two feet without any of that stuff anyway, and that takes talent. Pretty decent.

---Julio


Posted by: Gaara, September 9th, 2007, 9:47pm; Reply: 12
Fortunate then that the book is not closed...it is merely the end of the first chapter.

Funny others complained about the lack of conflict or character change.  Well part 2 does have a bit of that in, which you can all see just as soon as Don puts it up.

Oh and i will be resubmitting this one with the punctuation fixed just as soon as I'm sure that no more changes are needed to the story. I would prefer to do it all at once instead of resubmitting new versions every two seconds.
Posted by: sniper, September 10th, 2007, 9:39am; Reply: 13
Haha - nice one, Darren.

Forget about Joe Black, Mister D's da man! I loved the casual way he refers to his job, like he's just some average Joe with an average job. I think you build the story just right, you didn't reveal too much from the start and I liked that.

I loved that there are "Rules" to dying. Brilliant.

I thought the writing was tight and and to the point. There were a couple of wrong punctuations (should have been commas), but it's nothing a read through won't spot. Also, you might want to keep the words active. instead of writing: Mister D. is sat on the edge of the bed, you should write Mister D sits on the edge of the bed. Stuff like that.

Is Mister Shelton in any way related to Mike?

I liked how it ended, that Mister D was the actual cause of Shelton's death, but thinking about it, doesn't that kinda go against the rules? I mean if Mister D hadn't shown up, Shelton wouldn't have died of a heart attack (presumably).

Anyways, this was a good, short and fast read.

Keep it up.

Cheers
Rob
Posted by: Gaara, September 10th, 2007, 9:49am; Reply: 14
Thanks for the read. I named the character Mr Shelton as a thank you to Mike for the help he gave me with this script in the chat room.

Oh and Mister D. being the cause of death is not against the rules as Mr. Shelton was supposed to die that way...it said so in Mr D's black book.
Posted by: alffy, September 10th, 2007, 2:40pm; Reply: 15
Hey Darren, here are my thoughts...

A few spelling and grammer errors but that's just nit picking.

I loved this idea, and Mister D was excellent.  One thing though, maybe I'd write Mr D rather than Mister D but that's just my preference.

You build up the action of Mister D's soul collection very well.  I start to feel a little sorry for Shelton and then you throw the serial killer in there - brilliant.

Mister D's dialogue was spot on and very amusing.  I did have some niggles though, surely mister D couldn't collect every soul in the world?  This leads me nicely onto my final thought, I liked the camera man idea but wondered who he was and why he was there - was he dead too?  I thought maybe if Mister D had, shall we say, helpers and he was training such one?  This gives you scope to carry on these tales, which I believe is your intention.

I hope you do write more of these cos I really enjoyed it, you now though have to keep this standard up with more situations - no pressure lol.

Good stuff Darren.
Posted by: chism, September 10th, 2007, 5:45pm; Reply: 16
Darren,

This was a cool little short. Few spelling and grammar errors here and there, but it is otherwise well-written. Your concept is funny and interesting and I think you used it as well as it could have been in the actual writing, so well done for pulling it off.

Having said that, this script brought up a few questions about Mr. D and his profession and all that. For example, how many people around the world would have died while he was waiting around for Shelton to show up? Seems to me like that would throw off his entire timetable. Can Mr. D bend or freeze time? Can he be in more than one place at one time? I think it would be really cool if the interviewer asked a couple of these questions, because I know I was asking them. Would be pretty cool to have some answers.

Anyway, all in all, this was a fun read. Good luck with future writing.  ;D


Matt.
Posted by: Gaara, September 10th, 2007, 7:07pm; Reply: 17
Thanks for the reads,much appreciated.

Well I'm not really sure what to do with the camera man yet, for now he is just someone for Mr D. to interact with.

Oh and as for those questions you asked Chism...they will be answered.
Posted by: CindyLKeller, September 11th, 2007, 11:10am; Reply: 18
What a cute little tale.  :)

A documentary with death.  ;D

There was a part in it that I had to stop and re-read though... when Mr. Shelton walked into the room and said, Hey what is this? What are you doing here?
It seemed to me like he saw Mr. D, but then Mr. D tapped him on the shoulder, and that is when Mr. Shelton turned toward him and got scared... so who was Mr. Shelton looking at when he first came into the room?

Other than that I loved it. It was simple, yet very interesting and entertaining. The kind of horror I enjoy the most with no blood or guts.

Cindy
Posted by: Gaara, September 11th, 2007, 12:13pm; Reply: 19
Yeah in my next rewrite I will try to make it a bit clearer, but Shelton is actually looking at the camera. Mr. D is hidden behind the door when Shelton walks in...the camera however is in full view.
Posted by: michel, September 12th, 2007, 2:55am; Reply: 20
Nice story, well written. Mister D. is a real nice (and funny) guy (protocol, rules to follow...) but the story leads us to a too evident ending. A final trick is missing. I was hoping it would be then the interviewer's turn to die (or the cameraman). We know Mike is going to die and he does. I'm pretty sure you can surprise us. Sheldon's line could be: "What are you 2 doing in my--" before Mister D. taps on his shoulder.

Besides all this, you have a real storyteller's talent and an original universe. Good job for a first short.

Michel 8)
Posted by: tonkatough, September 12th, 2007, 6:07am; Reply: 21
Life's a bitch, You need a switch, It's time to go. Just call Mister D

Mister D is such a jolly chap. Fun idea having the big Grim talk to the camera Ferris Buller style. Nice touch.

This script was well written and I have no criticism at all- oh except one.

What the hell is a Protoplasmic soul? Should I be picturing Slimer from the Ghost Busters movie?
Posted by: CindyLKeller, September 12th, 2007, 7:21am; Reply: 22

Quoted from Gaara
Yeah in my next rewrite I will try to make it a bit clearer, but Shelton is actually looking at the camera. Mr. D is hidden behind the door when Shelton walks in...the camera however is in full view.


Oh, he's looking at the camera man! Maybe show the camera man's reaction to him.

I read other reviews of this one, and some people think that there is a serial killer with them in the room. The way I took it was that Mr. Shelton was the serial killer...

You may want to consider Mr. D being in one spot, then disappearing and reappearing in another. It may be cool for him to do that a few different times to confound Mr. Shelton.

Cindy

Posted by: Gaara, September 12th, 2007, 12:13pm; Reply: 23

Quoted from tonkatough
What the hell is a Protoplasmic soul? Should I be picturing Slimer from the Ghost Busters movie?


Pretty much  ;D



Quoted from CindyLKeller
Oh, he's looking at the camera man! Maybe show the camera man's reaction to him.

I read other reviews of this one, and some people think that there is a serial killer with them in the room. The way I took it was that Mr. Shelton was the serial killer...

You may want to consider Mr. D being in one spot, then disappearing and reappearing in another. It may be cool for him to do that a few different times to confound Mr. Shelton.


Well the problem with the first point is that it is hard to show someones reaction when you never actually see them. Basically "YOU" are the cameraman. If this was a video game it would be a "First Person" one.

Yes Mr. Shelton is the serial killer, although it is only implied and not outright said.

I'll think about that last bit, it actually sounds like a fun little addition.
Posted by: GM, September 12th, 2007, 12:38pm; Reply: 24
Hey Darren,

This was another funny short I've read today. Mr. D was hilarious. But a few questions:

How did the cameraman actually know where death was? I think it would be better to somehow introduce that the cameraman is following death. For example, Death waiting at the backdoor entrance for the cameraman to arrive. And then we see how things trangress.

The dialgoue seemed to bit on the nose at most times. For example on pg. 2, where the apple rolls out of death, that dialgoue. I think death would be more nonchalant in how he talks about getting people souls. I think he would prob say something like: "Don't get me wrong, my line of work is not listed under the top 10 best jobs cateogory, but someone's got to do it." That was just from the top of my head, but its more nonchalant than direct.

Other than that I think everything else is fine.

Hope this helps,
Gabe  
Posted by: Gaara, September 12th, 2007, 2:23pm; Reply: 25
Thanks for the read, I'm glad you all seem to be liking it.

I will certainly take your ideas into consideration when I do the next rewrite.
Posted by: bert, September 12th, 2007, 9:06pm; Reply: 26
With so many people swinging off this script, I thought I would give it a look.  The concept is sound, and even humorous, but I also see a lot of unrealized potential here, with plenty of room for additional installments should you decide to pursue that. It sounds like you are.

The unrealized part basically springs from the Mr. Shelton character.  Sure, Mr. D is the main show here, and the interviewer is a clever foil, but this story would benefit if the third piece of this puzzle were a bit more realized.

You hint at the serial killer angle, and I was intrigued at where you might take it, but then you took it nowhere, and that is a flaw.

You should have Mr. D and Mr. Shelton interact a bit, for comic effect or horror effect or whatever.  In any event, the story is quick enough that you can take that relationship further than you have.

But do not tell us anything about this interviewer.  IMO, there is no reason for us to know who that is.

From a production standpoint, I would point out that Mr. D need not be a skeleton.  You could even wring some additional humor from this if you gave your Mr. D a more unconventional appearance.  He could be overweight or Chinese or even a she for that matter. Or all three.

With the skeleton you are playing right into our expectations, and you should consider breaking with convention a bit to surprise us.

Anyways, the skeleton effects are humorous -- do not get me wrong -- but they would also add unnecessary weight to the budget.

It would be fun to learn more about the day to day experiences of your Mr. D character.  Be sure to give it some thought before diving into another one of these.  Have the details all worked out so you do not end up contradicting yourself later -- then reveal it little by little.

You could have some real fun with this, but we should also get to know whoever it is meeting Mr. D when he shows up -- with good deaths, not just heart attacks -- and pick good locations, too.

I would urge you not to neglect these pivotal "third characters" -- they will be the key to lending these tales true variety.  Good luck with them.
Posted by: Zack, September 14th, 2007, 10:21am; Reply: 27
Hey Darren,

I'd say this is one of your better scripts. It's very comical. I kept thinking about that grim reaper from that Billy and Mandy show on cartoon network(don't ask). I didn't really have any complaints with it, so you get two big fat thumbs up from me!

~Zack~
Posted by: Gaara, September 14th, 2007, 10:53am; Reply: 28

Quoted from Zack
Hey Darren,

I'd say this is one of your better scripts. It's very comical. I kept thinking about that grim reaper from that Billy and Mandy show on cartoon network(don't ask). I didn't really have any complaints with it, so you get two big fat thumbs up from me!

~Zack~


heh don't worry about it. I love the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy so I have no problem with people comparing Mister D. to Grim.  

Posted by: marlinmarko, September 14th, 2007, 2:29pm; Reply: 29
Hi Darren,

Enjoyed this revision very much, great natural dialogue between both characters! Although maybe alittle more fear or at least tension from the interviewer, something similiar to interview with the vampire. He's a pretty cool cucumber considering is interview subject is the grim reaper. But this was a great read, very entertaining. thanks
Posted by: Souter Fell, September 14th, 2007, 5:44pm; Reply: 30
I enjoyed it.  It was light. It was fun. Just a few things, hopefully not rehashes of things that have already been addresses.

I got the impression that Mr. D was afraid Mr Shelton was going to be late. When he said that he couldn't just go to them, i wondered how it would work out then.  The line about him being out for 5 hours in this traffic seemed overly false and what not once he actually made it in time. Maybe if the interviewer stresses about it while Mr. D stays cool, and Mr. Shelton, say, forgets his wallet and comes back in just in time.

This leads me to my next point. While death is enteraining (i particularly like the part about getting an animal's soul) he really isn't saying anything. I kept waiting for him to shed his view on the whole life/death drama, whether it be in a scoping sense or from a blue collar point of view. Mr. Shelton's death could be a perfect beat to accentuate his point.

Lastly I didn't see a need for Mr. Shelton to be a serial killer. You created death into being a working man nicely. No need to apologize by having him kill a bad guy. I think it would work better if it was a joe schmoe like the rest of us.

Anyway, very enjoyable short. Look forward to more.
Posted by: Gaara, September 14th, 2007, 7:53pm; Reply: 31
Thanks for the read and I will certainly consider some of those points, if not for my next rewrite, certainly for future installments.

Mr D was a bit worried that Shelton would be late because of how he rules work. Mr D has to be at a certain place at a certain time to take someones soul. However, if they do not arrive (due to an intervention by fate) their death can be pushed back from anywhere from a few seconds to a few decades.  Death, being a perfectionist, hates it when his timetable is threatened like this.
Posted by: ABennettWriter, September 14th, 2007, 7:55pm; Reply: 32
I love how you make Death a perfectionist. It's hilarious.
Posted by: Souter Fell, September 15th, 2007, 2:04am; Reply: 33
that's what im saying. either death is late and we follow the chase or the interviewer gets flustered as death keeps cool knowing all things will sort themselves out
Posted by: Gaara, September 24th, 2007, 6:43am; Reply: 34
Cool Mr. D. part 2 is up. Thanks Don
Posted by: alffy, September 24th, 2007, 7:06am; Reply: 35
Hey Darren thought I'd give part 2 a read.

Typo on page 1 - Mister D 'Madame Lambert should be late on time'?  Think it should be 'right on time'?

Typo page 8, you have a / instead of a ?

Right my thoughts...I found this one more serious than the first.  Mister D explaining his actions and the rules was quite clever.  I liked the ending, having to make a decision about life and death.

Overall I liked this but the first was more of a black comedy and Mister D's dialogue wasn't as sharp here.  Still good though.

Are you planning more of these?  I'll keep an eye for them if you are.
Posted by: Gaara, September 24th, 2007, 7:15am; Reply: 36
Actually the first typo you mention isn't actually a typo.

When people die they are said to be "LATE" hence "Late on time"  it's a kind of joke
Posted by: sniper, September 24th, 2007, 7:38am; Reply: 37
Hey Darren,

So Mister D is a series now? Well, just finished 'Conundrum' and I really liked it. I actually thought this was better than the first one (but I guess it wouldn't have been if it was a stand alone piece).

He's a real character that Mister D. I liked how you expanded upon him in this one, made him reveal certian aspects of his work that was a little vague in the first instalment. And you almost gave him a conscience...but I guess work comes first in the life of Mister D. What a career-freak  ;D

I relly dug this little banter:

MISTER D.
Do you really think it is
appropriate to know? A bit morbid
under the circumstances donít you
think?

INTERVIEWER (O.S.)
Does that mean you donít know?
Mister D. sighs

MISTER D.
Well no. I, erm. Why would I want
to know about people. Itís not my
job to...

INTERVIEWER (O.S.)
Are you worried that if you got to
know them you wouldnít be able to
do your job.

MISTER D.
Well actually. Yes. I mean no. I
mean. Weather is nice for this time
of year.

That's frigging funny.

All in all a very good read so keep 'em coming.

Cheers
Rob
Posted by: alffy, September 24th, 2007, 9:04am; Reply: 38

Quoted from Gaara
Actually the first typo you mention isn't actually a typo.

When people die they are said to be "LATE" hence "Late on time"  it's a kind of joke


Ah my mistake, I was a bit slow there. lol
Posted by: michel, September 24th, 2007, 9:16am; Reply: 39
Should have been a problem with "Mister D's Conundrum". I can't open it. Evrytime my computer bugs and freezes.

Michel 8)
Posted by: Souter Fell, September 24th, 2007, 11:42am; Reply: 40
Mister D returns!  Another hit with this one. Nice choice you made at the end. You could have easily went the sugar coated way by saving Madame or taking the thug instead. Ballsy move having Mister D do his job and feel remorse and shame for it.

Now is Mister D the only Reaper? Seems he takes his time a lot. When does he find the time to kill every person, and as it seems every living being on Earth?

Not for nothing else but have you ever considered doing a Mister D feature length? Might work well. Good show.
Posted by: Gaara, September 24th, 2007, 2:29pm; Reply: 41
Now I'm not sure if this info is in my last rewrite for the first episode, or if it is in part 3 but to answer your question

"Now is Mister D the only Reaper?"

Yes and No.

Confused? Well it is quite simple. Like God he can be everywhere at once. Well everywhere there is somebody due to die. There are more rules to this that I will let you all discover yourself.
Posted by: Zack, April 2nd, 2010, 12:53am; Reply: 42
Saw that this has been produced so I've decided to give you a friendly bump. :) Congrats man.

~Zack~
Posted by: spencerforhire, April 2nd, 2010, 6:58pm; Reply: 43
I quite liked this one. It was light and fun. Was a tad confused about Mr. Shelton and the six foot tall Skeleton. Maybe you could give Mr. Shelton a different last name to alleviate any confusion from small minds like mine. Thanks and I give this short five stars.
Posted by: Gaara, April 6th, 2010, 11:32am; Reply: 44
well the six foot tall skeleton is Mister D. and Mister Shelton was the person that Mister D. was waiting for while he chatted to the cameraman.

Well at least that is how it is in the script, not really sure what they will do in the actual film seeing as they decided to make Mister D. a flesh and blood person instead of a Skeleton
Posted by: colkurtz8, April 8th, 2010, 3:46am; Reply: 45
Darren

These were fun reads. I liked the two part continuous nature of it, plays like a web series. And by the way "Mister D Conundrum" ended it looks like  there is more to come. I wonder how much mileage can be got from it however before the concept eventually wears thin.

Mister D's nonchalant, everyman attitude remains me what Family Guy done with the same character, there is a lot of comedic value to derived out of that ironic twist and you done a good job of it here. I can't help thinking that the interviewer is going to play a more significant part in a future episode, either he gets clipped himself or assists in the death of the particular person Mister D has come to claim.

Nice job, keep it up.

Col.
Posted by: Gaara, April 8th, 2010, 11:12am; Reply: 46
Thanks, I actually always planned Mister D. to be a short trilogy (possibly a 4 parter depending) but never seemed to get around to writing the final part(s), which I really think is a shame and time for me to put right
Posted by: colkurtz8, April 8th, 2010, 12:01pm; Reply: 47
I've just realised now that they were posted over two years, I presumed they were new on the site.

Anyway, a trilogy does sound right for it. It definitely needs a final episode to round things up.
Posted by: Gaara, April 11th, 2010, 6:36pm; Reply: 48
mister d part 3 is up
Posted by: Gaara, April 16th, 2010, 8:17am; Reply: 49

Quoted from colkurtz8
I've just realised now that they were posted over two years, I presumed they were new on the site.

Anyway, a trilogy does sound right for it. It definitely needs a final episode to round things up.


Ya they are pretty old but don't let that put you off reading and critiquing them.

Also, just to let you know that I will be submitting part 4 (the final part) in the next couple of days in which a truth about the whole thing is finally revealed.  

In the meantime if anyone has anything to say about part 3 it would be nice to hear from you



Posted by: jackx, April 18th, 2010, 1:15am; Reply: 50
Episode 3:

interviewers first dialogue is pretty awkward, and I believe to should be too.
kinda awkward explanation of how mr d is everywhere, is this really necessary?

hmmm, didnt do much for me, not sure if its because I didnt read the first couple.  Lot of long winded talk, then random life threatening event and mr d gives in and gives us a happy ending.
There wasn't really much of a punch line or anything.  Is this one just kinda setting up for four?  it doesnt feel like its really a complete idea on its own.

I guess I'll have to read the previous parts and see if that helps.
Posted by: Gaara, April 18th, 2010, 5:41pm; Reply: 51
First thanks for the read

The interviewers dialogue is awkward not just because of who he is talking to but what almost happened in part 2.  

The explaination of how Mr D is everywhere is probably as important as the rest of what he talks about which is really what the whole show is about...his job and how he goes about it.  It really is just an interview and people would want to know if there is one Mr D then how could he take so many souls at the same time.

The happy ending comes as a shock because Mr D previously says he always sticks to the rules of his job no matter what...and he breaks them, mainly because of what  the Interviewer asked in part 2

and yes it is leading to part 4, they all are.
Posted by: jackx, April 22nd, 2010, 9:09pm; Reply: 52
Alright, I guess that makes sense.  Not trying to say it wasn't well written or anything, just that single section didnt really work as its own piece.

So anyone looking to get into these, I would suggest you start at the beginning, as opposed to what I did.

Are you planning on keeping these as episodes or compiling them into a longer short?
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