Beloved Phil by Heilo J Corderio - Short - Everyone is eternal, depends of how much we will remember them! 6 pages - pdf, format 8)

When I saw this thread, I thought someone was singing praise about me.  Oh well...

As usual, Helio, you wrote a great little story.  With only a few pages, you bring us into a scene and make us feel for the characters.  Nice work.


Phil (the unbeloved one)

Haha! It was sung on the Brazilan's Day comemoration, dear, Phil!

About the title take it as a compliment and thanks for your inestimable review, dude.

I too thought this was going to be about some half sock, half man all evil carachter.

You did great Helio. It was a very nice and touching story in just a few pages.

You and Michel are actually very similar in your story telling and I'm not talking about grammar or spelling, but the stories themselves.

Deeper than many other shorts. Maybe it takes some maturity to pull that off.

Anyway, very nice Helio. ;-)

Hi Helio,


SPOILERS

This was a touching script. I enjoyed it very much. Helen was lucky to have her snoring husband still at her side as she gets older and begins to forget things...

I did have one gripe about it though. Phil called his grandmother grandma, and granny far too much... That's all.

Otherwise, I think it's lovely, and think that it would do well in competitions or in getting produced .  ;D Nice job, Helio.

In your other thread you wrote about who cares about short writers...
Well, who cares what others think about short writers. It's what the short writer thinks, and if he loves what he is doing.

You should keep writing shorts, Helio. You do a very good job with them.
BUT I'd still like to see a feature from you.  ;D

Cindy

Hi, Pia and Cindy! Thanks girls, for the lovely kind words!

Hey Helio

I liked this short.  A touching story with a strong message about the tradegy of war.  You delt with the issues very well.

Another day, another awsome script from Helio(who I now dub "Master Short Scripter")! Honestly, i can't think of a script of yours that I haven't liked!  How many shorts is this Helio?

~Zack~

meu amigo,

long time I didn't read from you. And I found you back in good shape. What a delicacy in this touching story. I'm sure this one will be a hit and you'll finally understand why we are here writing our guts out.

Thank you for this instant of happiness.

Ton ami Michel 8)

Quoted from tomson You and Michel are actually very similar in your story telling and I'm not talking about grammar or spelling, but the stories themselves. Deeper than many other shorts. Maybe it takes some maturity to pull that off.

Does maturity have something to do with age? I hope not, othewise we both would be old crones (LOL)

Zack, boy! thanks for the reading! About "Master of something"...well..okay I accept that! haha!

Michel, mon ami! Nice to hear from you. Thank for you time reading a short s script where the title reads Beloved PHIL! ;-)

Hey, Don, could you fix my name, please? Change this one - Heilo J Corderio - for this - Helio J Cordeiro. BTW did you like Phil?

The twist for this you see coming from a long way off, but that didn't stop me from enjoying this little script. I'm a big fan of the "imaginary friend" concept and it doesn't matter how you paint this, it's pretty much what this story is.

One of my fav concepts the old imaginery friend. I can't get enough of it.  

A lot of silly little mistakes with your writing such as you wrote "Phil attend helen appealing." or "Next he poses the box on the table. . . " This didn't make sense to me. It is no biggy but just a distraction from reading.

Bit I am guessing maybe english is not your first language.

Hey Glenn! Thanks for your review, dude.

I appreciated your words about a "imaginary friend". Unfortunatly I don't have any, but I love to see that there is people in this tough world that has.

About the silly lines, I'm sorry about that, okay. Maybe because I'm a silly Brazilian. BTW, I'm not good with English language maybe it has been against me all time I'm writing. Anyway, I liked your review.

I liked it a lot actually. I mean, yeah, it's been seen before but oddly enough, it was truly heartbreaking. It was a good and refreshingly simple story. I liked your writing as well. It was a pretty smooth read and I, generally, had no trouble envisioning it. Keep writing, man.

Hey Gregory! Thanks a lot, dude! When I have a time will repay the favor reading yours Smile.

Hey Helio.

I must say, it was a really good, dramatic read.

All the characters seemed real and you wrote for them really well. I never write shorts as i feel that i can't tell the story in a few pages but you did that really well.

The story was short and sweet, so well done :)

Hi, Shepard, thanks for your support!

Hello Helio,

I pmd you on this.  (Ok that's really weird coming from me.  PMD?)  I'm not a chat-speak kind of person.

This one shouldn't sit on a shelf, or float in virtual space as the case may be.

I was truly impressed by this!  Yes, it can undergo the revisions process, but it's got HEART.  And lots of it.

Sandra

I'm so flattered with your kind words Sandra. Thanks, dear!

I barely have time for anything these days, but for a Helio script, I will make the time.

Very nice quick story which reminded me a little of your play at first, as Helen did all the talking.  The action flowed nicely and Joshua waking up matched our waking from the dream that was the first four pages, as the change from the pas tto the present is simliarly jarring.  I really like how the beginning and the end descriptions dovetail together.

That's why I always make the time.

It's worth it.

My SS friend, what can I say about your comment? Just...I'm so...well...thank you so much that's all I can say!