I thought it might be fun for people to post their worst Christmas present ever for two reasons.
1. So that no one will buy a gift like that for someone else, and
2. So we can have a laugh.

I'll start it off with the one I received yesterday from my place of employement.

We had our usual morning meeting, but yesterday it was different. Managers were happy to report that the company had a gift for every employee. The company's way of saying thank you and that they appreciate the work we do for them on a daily basis.

I thought to myself, "How cool."

I was handed my present. It was wrapped up all pretty, and I opened it.

Ya know what it was?

A four pack of Chapstick. LOL
And it wasn't even the brand name Chapstick. It was sugar babies, tootsie roll, and junior mint.

Oh yes, they were serious. It was my gift. LOL

I said, "Thank you", then slid out of the room.

Another girl who works with me got a man's disposable razor. LOL
She said she was going to give it to her husband and say, "Here ya' go babe. Merry Christmas.

Ivan got a $5 gift card from Sonic.

WTF are we supposed to do with that?

That's funny!   Both of you.

My worst present was one I didn't get.

Yep, one year I din't get nothing...




I must have been exceptionally bad that year...




PS. Just got back from a week away so I'll comment on scripts soon. :-)

Quoted from tomson That's funny!   Both of you. My worst present was one I didn't get. Yep, one year I din't get nothing... I must have been exceptionally bad that year...

Pia, for some reason that doesn't surprise me...the whole being bad that year deal.


Same here. The worst present I got was something I didn't get. I entered this Secret Santa thing at my school with a group of friends. I spent about 15 bucks, maybe, on a gift for this one girl, I gave it to her, and that was it. I didn't receive anything and I was pretty disappointed. I mean, I spent money on this Secret Santa deal all for nothing?


Well...I guess it IS better to give than receive, though. At least someone is getting something.

Sean

The worst present I've ever gotten was a math book from my mother. It was truly one of the worst presents I've ever received. I remember that after I had opened 007 Goldeneye N64 game, I was so excited to open the next one, and it was a math book.

I cried for about ten minutes, because my parents had hidden the rest of my presents.

It sounds cruel, but watching that home video is very entertaining.

:)

Last year I got a Chia Mike Shelton.  I swear to God!

Creepy little thing, though a very good likeness.



Phil

Quoted from dogglebe Last year I got a Chia Mike Shelton.

Damn, Phil.  I got one of those, too!



Creepy indeed.

The eyes follow you around the room.  Creepy!


Phil

It was around 1987, I was just nine years old.  One thing about me that never changed is that I am a very unorganized man.  When I was a kid, my desk was the messiest, hehe...and so my aunt got me a pencil box, she said it would make me more organized.  My cousins got toy cars, sweaters, MONEY, and I get the dollar fifty piece of sh*t pencil box that broke two weeks later.....

Today, my aunt gives me a hug and a cookie, and we call it a day.  I'll take that any day over a pencil box....*apart from the fact that a 29 year old man should NEVER have a pencil box, EVER.*

Quoted from dogglebe The eyes follow you around the room.  Creepy! Phil

LOL

I love to wake up laughing.  ;D

Cindy

I see Bert is trying his hand at PhotoShop....  ;D

This is not about a bad present, but a BAD party.
I used to belong to big organization. our local group had 93 members. On our annual Christmas party and awards ceremony the local president was going to be in charge of the catering. Nothing fancy, just food and drinks. Other members had decorated the place and everything looked great. Everyone shows up and we're wondering were the food is. Ten minutes after the official start, the president shows up. Did she have food with her? Drinks? NO...  I kid you not, all she brought was one package of Peeps!!!!

She never apologized for that disastrous party either.

I received a Christmas gift once which actually offended me. I know the person who gave it to me was all sincere and meant well.. and is very traditional... but, soooooo presumptious. He gave me an APRON.

OMG! I still remember how shocked I was! Like I would ever cook, first of all, and second of all... AN APRON??????????????????

LOL!!!

My mom gave me a Duke shirt for Christmas.  Anyone who knows the UNC-Duke rivalry would know that the worst gift you can give a Tar Heel fan is something with that stupid looking Duke logo on it.

Of course the two guys laying in on me are the ones responsible for the worst gifts I've ever received.

Exhibit A - A pic of Phil walking through the streets of NY.  (The autograph was below)




Exhibit B - Bert's autobiography.  Or maybe it's a book about his dating experiences.  I never bothered to open it.

Phil you seriously remind me of the fonse in that picture.

PHIL
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey.....

Quoted from Kamran Nikhad Phil you seriously remind me of the fonse in that picture. PHIL Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey.....

I think he was just spreading the word about the "Church of the Jesus-Phil".


Worship-o-mundo.

One year my wife's auntie gave me a packet of biscuits that had passed their expiration date.  :X

The worst Christmas I had was when I was ten. I went out for a ride on my new bike and when I came back home I walked in on my parents having a shag. :o  

My worst Christmas present was this really fine cologne my grandmother got me. I know, I know--not a bad gift at all...but I was freaking SEVEN when I got it! Why the fuck would a seven year-old be interested in cologne? All I wanted at the time were my toys and my videogames.

She's the classic weirdie granny, but I still love her :)

--Julio

My grandmother brought me a shirt back from Thailand one year. It was a counterfeit Adidas shirt with the second "D" missing. So, technically it was an Adias shirt.  Hideous colour as well, it was kind of a muddy red. Luckily it was a few sizes too small for me so I never had to wear it.


Matt.

these were all funny.  ;D

Phife,
That Math book could net you some money. Seriously.
America's Funniest Home Videos wants videos of children opening up their presents on Christmas. Check out their website.
Since you have the video, why not copy it and send it in?
Your worst present could turn out to be one of the best gifts ever.  ;D

Cindy

My work this year gave me a card which says "we donated your christmas present to charity, happy holidays"

Frankly, I'd like to see a receipt for this present going to charity.

And pants that would fit me 10 years ago...

While not a bad gift, one place I worked for (years ago) gave everyone Christmas bonuses....and they taxed it.  Nothing like receiving a bonus where state, federal and FICA were taken out.


Phil

I got a bottle a 5 dollar shampoo once when I was 14. I was so pissed I brought my knee to my grandma's jaw, knocking her out, and screamed: "So I have dandruff, do I???"

No, I'm just kidding. It wasn't shampoo, it was some kind of detergent or something...

Hey,

About three years ago my dad got me an lawn edger for Christmas.

That's probably the worst one I've ever gotten seriously as a present. But also, I've gotten, as jokes I presume, coal,  Broken glasses, and a can of mole chili sauce.

This year mainly cards. Really I'd rather have the money they used to pay for the cards then the well wishing delivery device.

sheepwalker

  

Quoted from Soap Hands my dad got me an lawn edger for Christmas.

Lawn edgers are among the coolest of the garden tools...It's a spinning blade of torment and death to ANYTHING that falls in it's path...Hope it was gas powered...To that lawn, you are Jason Voorhees!!!

Quoted from Death Monkey I got a bottle a 5 dollar shampoo once when I was 14. I was so pissed I brought my knee to my grandma's jaw, knocking her out, and screamed: "So I have dandruff, do I???" No, I'm just kidding. It wasn't shampoo, it was some kind of detergent or something...

I guess that was a hint. You or your clothes stink.