Truth by Ricardo Birnbaum (rick) - Short - A man meets a woman in a hotel room. The secret they hold together turns the encounter into a question of morality. 4 pages - pdf, format 8)

I never want to hear a person say "how dare you". When you think about this only the most talented actresses can pull off a good "how dare you". So it's my advice that changes, for sure.

You have a niche for suspensful moments but you know some of this is considered too OVER THE TOP. A piece soap actors would do.
Things like "Henry must never know..or how dare you...or how could you!?"

You know what i'm trying to say?

However, what heat between the two characters...makes me wonder what you were thinking.. lol.

Thanks for taking some time to read my script and for the constructive comments. I agree, you need good actors to pull something like this off! Ha ha. I wrote this piece to play it with an actress that inspired me to write this. Ummm subconscious is a strange thing. I am looking to produce and direct this, so I will definitely take into account your comments on language and try to reshape it. This is my third script and my first post on this site. Comments are greatly appreciated.

I have no qualms with the line "how dare you", I feel you have a good writing style that will only get better.  Quick with not too much text clogging up the page.

When reading from start to end I was always thinking what's going to happen next.  Which is a good feeling to have as it's captured my imagination.

Takecare & all the best with your writing.

This one is just okay for me. The woman’s dialogue overall didn’t ring very authentic to me.

The story made me curious as to what was going on but then it turned out not to be anything surprising or memorable. I’m not sure there’s enough substance here to carry a film.


Breanne