Limb by Limb by Chris Wilson (unmurdered) - Short - What if a cliche romantic comedy had a zombie in it? 15 pages - pdf, format 8)

This was a cute script, not hysterical, but cute.  The big problem I had with it was that it was rushed.  Fifteen pages was just enough room to set up each of your scenes.  It wasn't enough, however, to properly execute them.  Doubling the length would probably be enough, though don't add anymore scenes or characters to it.

The formatting had some problems to it.  You introduced characters and things by saying what they are.  ie:  On page one, you tell us, right away, that Jack is a zombie.  And follow this up with a brief description of what he looks like.  Based on his physical description, I would've thought he was just an old guy, or someone who just partied a little too hard in his youth.

Hope this helps.


Phil

Chris,

The logline reminded me of Shaun of the Dead. Except that movie wasn't that cliché, but still...:)

Agreeing with Phil, I do feel it was a bit rushed, and that you can fix it up by lengthening it a bit. I thought this was funny because it was very cliché and I could visualize in my head everything that was happening and I thought it was great. The part that I actually laughed out loud at was when Timothy fell on the ground and his head popped off. It's so ridiculously unbelievable that it was funny (which is a good thing because it's like a Scary Movie moment).

Any way, it was "cute" and I liked it. Kind of a new spin on a zombie movie. Reminded me of the movie Fido, except this zombie could talk.

Sean

P.S. I'm from Texas, and even I would be embarrassed to go to the restaurant they were in.