The Valley Clinic Incident by Teo Gonzalez - Short, Drama - A clinic is attacked.  2 pages - fdr, format 8)

Teo,

Not everyone, here, uses Final Draft and will be unable to open your script.  Save it as a .pdf or a .doc and resubmit it.

While I understand what you were trying to do, with this work, I don't think it worked.  You want to tell your story with rapid-fire images, but you still to develop some characterization in the story.  In the end, it didn't make much difference to me what happened.

I'm also a little confused with the story.  I'm assuming that the clinic is an abortion clinic, but you have Miss Ramirez making a second visit in a matter a days.  Am I missing something here?  I don't that family health clinics (for another description) also does other gyno-things, but you shouldn't be showing them in this story.


Phil