David Linley by Expendable Films - Short - A brief glimpse into the life of two men. Both having to deal with the situation at hand. 4 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hi Clint,

The script is very interesting i liked it alot, there was a little twist in the end. You have used camera direction in your description which some members here will tell you are out of place, but their fine with me, sometimes i write them too. So, i think you have the director's job in that, just wondering...

About the formatting, you need to work it out a little. The dialogue is centered, you should make it normal, and you have spaces in the lines.

When you have David speaking for the first time, you have written (voice over) and later on you changed it to (V.O). You can have it all V.O.

To conclude it, i really liked, some work on it can make it even better.

Good Luck
Nik

Hi Clint,

I've read this and I have to say that I don't get it.  There is no story here.  Nothing really grabs me.

Sorry, this isn't one for me.

All the best.


Javier

NiK - Thanks for taking the time to read and write about the short. I know what you mean about including camera instructions in the script, thats a bad habit of mine. Sometimes I feel like I need to set up the scene. Guess I don't really have to do that. I'll work on it. Thanks!

I really appreciate the constructive criticism!! It does help!


Javier - You don't get it. Thats cool too. It's not for everyone. If there's anything about it that you DO get, and you have some suggestions, I'd love to hear them. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read it!


Clint

Dear Clint,

Hope your well.

I would like to discuss producing your short film. Please could you let me know your email address to contact you on.

Thank you

Charlotte

Hi Charlotte. Since there's no email address on the script, you might want to contact Don, the webmaster, since he would be the only one who would have his contact info. If it's even the same anymore since this script was first posted 13 years ago.  :)

His email is on the front of another script he posted here...

https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1565026191/

I would have copied and pasted his email directly but thought that might be against the rules.

Good luck

That was nice of you to go looking, Max.

Just disguise the usual in the address with (a) instead, and it's fine.

Hope you track him down Charlotte.

SS Regs, Is this potentially the longest gap between appearing and getting picked up?

Hi! Clint Chandler here...I’m the original script writer. The poster did locate me with help from the web master. Thanks for all the help getting us connected!

expendable films at yahoo dot com

There is absolutely no story here?

Correct.