Gunslinger by Xavier Gonzalez - Short, Western - An old hitman cowboy takes a out bartender and now faces another problem. 11 pages - doc, format 8)

sup, i wrote this script a year ago but just decided to post it, it's a violent story of a Cowboy/hitman who is hired to kill a bartender in the old west. i wrote it after finally watching the 'El Mariachi' movie.

Hey Xavier,

Just finished reading your gunslinger script.

Just like your script, and your quote...
"People don't change, the times do"
I felt that this script could be a modern-day script instead of an older western...

Which isn't a bad thing, but I'm not sure that is what you were going for,

Why do I say that?

Well, where is the old western slang?

You know, words like yellowbelly, sasbarella (sp?).

You can do a google search for 'old western slang". I think it would improve your script a great deal.

It may be just me but, you threw me with the Fedora hat.
When I think Fedora, I think a detective's hat. They were felt...
When I think cowboys, I think cowboy hat, made out of suede or leather...

Also some type o's grate - great,
I taught  - I thought.

Something in his drink that ate away the guy's face???
I know there was gunpowder back in the day, they had fist fights used guns and knives, but I don't know about acid.
It just didn't seem right to me.

You had a strong first page. I really liked it, but I think the rest of the script still needs some spit and polish.

Let me know if you do a rewrite.

Cindy

Thanks, Cindy, i just want you to know that i didn't really have enough time to go over the gunslinger's background story, maybe he wears a Fedora because he's not from the west, maybe he's a city htiman who was sent down to the desert.

the whole slang thing, i didn't really want to go to far into that because it was a short action, if i was writing it a little longer i probably would have written in those words.

and the whole acid thing, i just wanted to make my script as violent as a Robert Rodriguez or Quentin Tarantino story.

anyways, thanks for the comment, and I'm glad that you like my script, i hope you're able to read more of my scripts to come.