Keyboard Warrior by Arjun Miglani - Short, Comedy - He Will Dystroy You… On the Internet. 12 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hello hello. Very funny script. Few small things...

-Kane's speech on page 4, and Max's last speech is too long. Split it up with something small, even if it's, "Kane takes a sip from a can of coke" in the middle of it. Just to give the old eyes a rest.

-At the start I don't understand why Max is annoyed...

-The interviewer should give a reason why he/she is there. Give it a touch more realism.

-End of page 1. 8 and a half lines of action. Too much. Try to stick to 4 or 5.

-I don't think Elaine would throw the phone away after she realises Max wasn't sending a message. Maybe just chuck it on the table? Also, having Kane pick up his phone and start "texting" straight after... it's a bit soon.

-Loved the 2 girls 1 cup reference. Loved all the dialogue actually. Some REALLY good stuff in there. Similar to The Office. Are you a fan? Or Curb.

This is the type of script I want to write. So well done.