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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Scripts  /  The Money Maker
Posted by: Don, February 8th, 2009, 10:43pm
The Money Maker by Xavier Gonzalez - Short - A man named Money Maker holds up a bank with five other men, but will a simple "walk in and take the money" turn into something much worse?.. 17 pages. - doc, format 8)
Posted by: Xavier, February 9th, 2009, 2:58pm; Reply: 1
Thanks for posting this, "Mr. Simplyscript".

This was just a script I started writing that was supposed to be a feature, and this was only supposed to be an opening sequences, but it ran a little long so I just finished writing it as a short... hope those of you who read this enjoy.
Posted by: steven8, February 15th, 2009, 2:43pm; Reply: 2
Hey Xavier,

I thought this read very well.  The pacing worked perfectly, and the characters were just what they needed to be.  A group of ruthless c*nts!  :)

Now, one thing I felt was incongruous.  I don't think Money Maker, after having heard him talk the way he did, would say "You may leave!!!", even when faking it for effect.  I think he'd say something much 'rougher'.

A very good script and I think it evokes the feelings and reactions you want!
Posted by: Xavier, February 15th, 2009, 2:57pm; Reply: 3
Thanks Steven, it was wasn't really a big script, i was just making up as I went along, the Money Maker is an odd guy, much like the Joker in The Dark Knight, no one know what his meanings of doing anything is, he's just a man without a plan.

Thanks for the read.
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