By the Hem of Death's Garment by Hugh Longman - Drama - A young man kills himself in order to live. 120 pages - fdr, format 8)

I don't want to download the Final Draft softtware just to read this. Please get a free PDF convertor from sites like cutepdf.com. i'll review it then.

Thanks.

Gary

Here you go, Gary.

Have at it: By The Hem of Death's Garmen (pdf)

No, I didn't write it - just helping out. You seemed so eager to read it.

Your first few pages are solid gold, man. I'm reading this and will be back with a full on review. Fantastic dialogue.

Thanks Sniper!

I read this tonight, and although some of it seemed just silly at times, the overall message was quite powerful and beautifully executed.

~SPOILERS~

I had guessed that she was the hitperson early on in her appearance, but I still really liked the way their relationship played out.  The dialogue is strong, and I really felt bad for Michael, even though I've known plenty of guys who were not all that comely to speak of, and they still found love and happiness, etc.

Rupert was a lot of fun for a fairly stock character.  The street-philosopher.  I liked him.

I'd go see this movie.

I was quite impressed By the Hem of Death’s Garment. Characters were strong. The opening dialogue was intriguing between two of the main characters and kept its pace and my interest pretty much throughout the story.  I say “pretty much” because as the story was nearing the end I started to realize who the hit man had to be and I was going “no, no, no!” because I didn’t want it to end that way.  If that’s what you were going for you succeeded. This story had my full attention while I was reading it late last night.

Run both a spell and a grammar checker on this (ex. wont and dont are contractions) to get a few things nailed down.

Hugh, job well done. People should read the first few pages just for the opening dialogue and then try to put it down.

Gary

Is the writer of this particular script even here?

I've read the first 20 pages and unfortunately I've had the exact opposite reaction to the views posted above.  However, I don't want to comment (or even read further) if it's going to just sit here, floating in cyberspace. :-)

I'm with you, Dressel.  I read the first 15 or so pages and didn't like much of anything about it.  I did not think the dialogue was great, nor did I find the opening scenes to be interesting or believable.

Ain't it funny how opinions differ so widely?

Well, dang -- now everybody is going to have to look haha.

I thought the first half of the first scene was very engaging -- but was disappointed by the second half of that scene -- which felt like an old joke somebody's Grandpa would tell.

Great setup, lousy payoff.  That's when I kind of gave up on it.

It is interesting how tastes vary -- but that is true for any script, really.

Quoted from bert which felt like an old joke somebody's Grandpa would tell.

That is exactly how I felt.  Glad you could put it into words for me.

Same with me, guys.  It was a long, stupid joke that had no reason to be in here...or anywhere, for that matter.

I also really disliked all the asides.  I guess many like this type of writing, but to me, it comes off as very cheesy, and just downright annoying, the longer it goes on.

I think I should wait a day until I post my reviews especially anything I rave or gush about. I really liked this one but after reading some of the other reviews here, I can see where they are coming from. My boss always told me don't come out too strongly against or for anything. I didn't listen very well.

Ok so I finally finished the script and here's the gist of it all.  Your first 4 pages were solid gold. They were fantastically written and your dialogue was spot on through out, but around page 10 everything started to crumble into the sea for me. I just wasn't getting where it was going a lot of times and when I did realize it I don't think I was happy about the destination... Know what I mean?  At times it'd seem you were very serious in your attempt and then others not so much...  It's a well written script for the better half of 50% of it and a fantastic attempt, but the underline theme is lost around page 64, I believe.  With the song.

well guys thanks for your feed back. i needed scholars to tell me whats wrong with this so i can fix it. and i guess that's exactly what you guys did. could you guys get specific. what parts annoyed you? whats parts were un realistic? what parts were boring?