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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Action/Adventure Scripts  /  Whiteout
Posted by: Don, May 3rd, 2009, 6:55pm
Whiteout by George Axxel Knutson (zarkmud) - Action - A massive, once in a 1,000, perhaps in 10,000 years, snowstorm buries the East Coast and New York City with over 100" of snow. A diminutive, young singer with a doctorate in meteorological science fights to make her forecast taken seriously. It is finally, but not without a fight and a lot of snow. 108 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: cloroxmartini, May 3rd, 2009, 9:49pm; Reply: 1
If memory serves me, didn't New York hit the Frigidaire in 2004's forgetful THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW?

That alone is a reason I don't want to read a snow disaster story. However I paged through yours. Lots of description, blocks of it. Seems a great deal is exposition on North America getting cold, with lots of snow, and more snow, then a little more snow, like everything at sea level is now a bona fied ski resort with overwhelming amounts of snow. Mixed in was lots and lots of dialogue that goes on for page after page. The President and Jack Reynolds talk a lot. Meteorologists Brad and Jamie talk a lot. The Mayor and Venxiana talk a lot. Talk about how much snow there is, how much snow there is going to be, and how cold itsagonnaget, and save the people stuck in it. Then lots of Italian in the end, too. I'm not up to reading all of that.

And in the end, it all melts.
Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), May 3rd, 2009, 11:57pm; Reply: 2
Hey Axxel, I didn't read this, but wanted to comment on the title.  This was the working title for my Fade to White script. When I attempted to purchase domain names (whiteout.com, etc.), I found that it was already a working title for a movie with Kate Beckinsale, based on a hugely popular graphic novel.  This was a few years ago.

The movie is set for realease later this year.

So, first of all, I'd get a new title.

Secondly, as Clorox said, the premise is far from new, and we've already seen a big budget example of this 5 years ago.

Just some FYI there for ya.

Best to ya.
Posted by: Chongamon, May 25th, 2009, 5:53pm; Reply: 3
"If one can imagine a “feel-good” disaster genre with music ranging from light opera, country truckin’ to rap, one can imagine Whiteout."

What a terrible way of trying to describe your flim. It is completely irrelevant to anything in your script. I advise you to create a better logline, one that is shorter and more to the point.
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