Holy Cat! - filmed - Print Topic

Hey Michel,

just read this one.

I wanted to read it because of the cat. My SoulShadows script deals with a man and a cat too.

Numerous problems with the English throughout, but I ignored that.

The story itself was pretty good and I sort of enjoyed the joke in the end. My only gripe about the end is that it seemed it was a very long build up to that joke. I would almost have preferred a more "story like" conclusion instead of a punchline.

Amy didn't really work for me at all. She was just way too meek IMO. If someone tried to do that to my cat they'd find themself staring down the barrel of my pink revolver, but that might just be me. I think she needs to put up some sort of conflict with Gary.

All in all it was pretty good. Just decide if it's a story or a joke. :)

Hey Michel

I agree that Amy didn't react enough to her belovd cat being dragged away by Gary but I guess this was a comedy after all. I also agree it was a bit long winded but I found the ending really funny.

Overall I liked this short, it was a easy and quick read and the ending was worth waiting for. Good stuff.

Thanks for your reviews. This short is a minor stuff in what I did lately. And yet, there's worse. I liked to tell a story with repetition humour.

Amy doesn't react enough because:

- she knows Gary wouldn't hurt the cat.
- she has a smart cat.

Anyway, I'm glad it entertained you. It was its only goal. I didn't try to give any message or to prove anything.

Michel 8)

Can i ask a quick question?

Did you get this story from a joke?

Because I'm sure I'm not the only one that knew what was going to happen right from the beinning...

I don't know if it's a joke, but this is a story I had in my head for years.

I'd appreciate if you could give me your opinion on the script.

Thanks

Michel

Well, Michel I'll give you my opinion on the script. With the French/English - translation sometimes a bit gets lost in the translation and sometimes like Stevie pointed out the other day in ref. to your "Lust" script, a "richness" is conveyed.

"Giggling River" - "bubbling brook" - French - English. I liked that "giggling river", I got what it meant. I could see and hear it.

You said your aim was to entertain and imo you succeeded. It was an easy read (I didn't find the set up tedious at all) in fact I enjoyed wondering what the main character was going to do next.

And I had a great "giggle" at the punchline!

Libby

Hi Libby,

as for my other script "Endless Story", I'm glad to entertain even if English my first language.

Anyway, my next shorts won't be as bright and gay as my last ones. I'm currently entering a "dark" period.

Quoted from LC

With the French/English - translation sometimes a bit gets lost in the translation and sometimes like Stevie pointed out the other day in ref. to your "Lust" script, a "richness" is conveyed.
"Giggling River" - "bubbling brook" - French - English. I liked that "giggling river", I got what it meant. I could see and hear it.

I always loved "pictured" words. Even in French.

Glad for your "giggle".

Michel 8)

A message from the cat BTW

Just want to clarify: In reviewing "Lust" Stevie said :

"How can I explain better...that French aspect you put in your English gives a more authentic touch. Does that make sense?"

And the "richness" I was talking about was when I read a line in "Lust" (I think) from the main character in which he said he was leading a "rich" life "- my interpretation was that he was not-wanting/ he was fullfilled - but your French usage of "rich" conveyed more "flavour" and imagery than our bland English word "fulfilled" woud have. So, see even though some things may not appear as grammatically correct in English (to us) a certain flavour is expressed in your writing that otherwise we would not be able to appreciate.

I thought I'd reviewed Lust - must have got lost in note-pad - my bad! Anyway I hope you get what I mean. :) Libby

Quoted from LC

- but your French usage of "rich" conveyed more "flavour" and imagery than our bland English word "fulfilled" woud have. So, see even though some things may not appear as grammatically correct in English (to us) a certain flavour is expressed in your writing that otherwise we would not be able to appreciate.

You wrote the word that says it all "imagery". That's what I meant when I said "pictured" words. Imagery is so important when you write scripts, isn't it?

Michel 8)

That was a pretty funny one, Michel. Nice set-up for a joke. Not sure if anyone else has asked, but how did the cat get home so quickly? I was half expecting that Amy had numerous cats hidden from Gary or something, which made the punch awesome as I was not expecting it. I laughed aloud.

The descriptions and action were very precise, though the scenes driving got a little repetitive. Not sure they can be avoided though, so no worries.

Gary was a great character, very entertaining. Doesn't he know a cat lady, though? It seems like every neighborhood has a cat lady who will take in as many strays as come wandering into her house. I guess that wouldn't have been very funny, huh?

Good short, nice writing.

James

Thanks James for the reading.

Quoted from James R

The descriptions and action were very precise, though the scenes driving got a little repetitive. Not sure they can be avoided though, so no worries.

Like I said above, I tried comic repetition. You can't avoid it.

Quoted Text

There are two types of humour: repetitive humour and repetitive humour.
Basically you can either repeat humour or make a repetition humourous.
Now if you repeat a repetition you add a comical relief, such as:
repetition + repetition = repetition + comical relief
Just reading this is humourous. It's repetitive humour. Now you can also start with a comical relief and repeat it, and you obtain just a repetition. Example: "LOLOLOL! LOLOLOL!"
so in the end we obtain: comical relief + comical relief = repetition
when factored into the previous equation, which I'll repeat here:
repetition + repetition = repetition + comical relief

Quoted from James R

Good short, nice writing.

Like I always say, and this most of the time to the newbies, I reached my style of writing after learning here from everybody. You must know that English is not my first language. So, I will take it as a warm compliment.

Michel 8)

Quoted Text

That's awesome, where did that come from? I've only heard of the comedy rule of three. And your English was just fine, no complaints there. I actually liked the "giggling river".

James

Thanks James. I found the quoted text on a forum somewhere on the net. Thought it could be interesting.

About the giggling river, it's sometimes an advantage from French expressions (which sometimes I create myself too)

Thanks for the reading anyway

Michel 8)

I recently had the big surprise to know that my script was shot. Here's the result:

Michel,

Very good. And enjoyable too. Not pro, but not far off either.
Great little story

Congrats on that fella.

Must have a read of the script soon, see how it compared.

Re

The guy who shot this is a documentary director. It was his first fictional short. I agree it's not completely pro, but it's a nice calling card for me.

Holy cat! A short film about cats. I love cats.

Typical laid back cat and the punch line for this was a hoot.

Congrats on getting another script produced michel. The world would be a better place if there was more short films to watch about cats.

I loved it! They did a terrific job with your great little script. I really liked the guy in the film. He was really good! The shots and music over the ending credits were fun. Congrats on getting it filmed, even if you didn't know it was happening!

Who says it's not professional! They could get a trainer who could teach that cat how to get home from all those places. That costs bucks!! :)

Hi Michel,

Congrats on getting this filmed.

I'm not exactly a cat lover, but I am a dog person and I think if you are a pet owner and you've come home from a long day's work, you can def relate to Gary on some level.

I did enjoy the ending. That said, I would love to know how he kept getting home.

Anyway, good job.

Craig

Good work. Congrats on getting it filmed.

Thanks to everyone..... Better later than never.... 8)

Congrats on getting this made, Michel

Looked good Michel!

I remember the script pretty well. Congrats!!

The ending made me laugh. That actor was really good. Good casting. Congrats on getting this produced.

Congratulations Michel.

My favorite part was when he asked his wife to put the cat on the phone. :)

Breanne

michel, been a long time. hope things are going well. congrats on the short. well played.

gary

Michel,
Hello my old friend. I haven't talked to you in a while. I see you are still putting out the enjoyable writing. 2009 bagged you two produced scripts. GREAT JOB. I Also got your email as well. I will be doing that and getting back to you this week. Merry Christmas and the best of new years.

Shawn.....><