Fright Movie by Adam Mosquito - Short, Comedy - A  short film, mocking many of the horror movies that have come out over the past year. 30 pages - pdf, format 8)

Fright Movie (Shooting Draft) by Adam Mosquito - Short, Comedy - A short film, that takes a satirical look on many of the supernatural-horror films to come out over the past years.  33 pages - pdf, format 8)

So, this is just another "Scary Movie" movie script? Cool, but, this just doesn't cut it. I've tried writing my own Scary Movie 5 script, and it didn't really turn out so well. I think the whole franchise is just getting overdone, like many of the movie series these days. Why not just name this Scary Movie 5? Yeah, it's only 30 pages, but that doesn't mean you can give a different title for an idea that really isn't yours.

I don't really have much to comment on this script considering that spoofs like these don't really need critiquing. I do have to admit that I didn't laugh out loud at anything, but I did smile at the movie title/plot mistakes that the two girls made. The Eyeball, The Taunting in Confetti, Heartbeat. I also smiled at the Screamer bit on the computer with the "raw footage."

But other than that, it was just another Scary Movie movie, titled differently. Good attempt, though.

Sean

What?? You didn't like it!? NO! *bangs wrist on counter, causing a huge gash to squirt blood all over the room*.

--

Just kidding. Well I guess I just wanted to take my shot on this whole parody genre. I've always wanted to spoof horror. I'm proud of the outcome, to be honest.

Thanks for the little review.

Well good job taking a stab at it.  I agree that it wasn't laugh out loud funny or anything, but neither are the actual movies they are making, imo.  Id bet any of the scary movie scripts would be torn apart on this site.
P1 not sure if you can use wander as a noun, ?her mind in a wander?
Where are the boy and girl on bikes?  I assume in the driveway, but it should be clarified.
?She is finally dragged Nichole into the house?  Need to drop the Nichole.
Danielle lesbian jokes were a bit funny, plus her over the phone.
You say ?we didn?t have enough money to afford anything better,?   wheres the rest of the we?  I guess the mom shows up later, but why not have her sleeping in the moving van or something as nichole walks up to the house.
P9 I?m going to guy buy her a gift?  should be go
Is there a reason its carol and herveys, then carol or tim?
Why not have the girl with the tragic past in the house be the same girl kate adopts?
Overall a fine effort.  There's a reason I dont write comedy,it's pretty d@mn hard to do right, so kudos on making it.

ps since you are posting your script for review, and have gotten two so far, you might want to pass it forward, if you know what i mean.

It was mildly amusing - this kind of story has been done to death now, and this is no better (or worse) than any of this kind. The fact that I hadn't seen any of the movies sent up may not have helped though!

One point - it is generally no longer necessary to put "cut to" between scenes. It was once a standard rule, but seems to have been discarded unless you want specific effects (such as "dissolve to").

By the way - how old is Nicole? I ask because you state she is "young" - and her mother is "in her late 20s". That would make Nicole 10? 11? 12? I had pictured her as more teenager.

Yeah, I had a feeling the screenplay wasn't laugh-out-loud hilarious, but I think that's the best I can do with what I've written, before it just starts to become stupid.

The whole Haunted House and the characters being taunted by the poltergeists, then later they figure out the meaning of the hauntings and try to find away to put a hault to it is exactly what I wanted to parody. These types of films are tragically overdone and dried up, it's time to parody.

I'm sure watching a film, and then watching a parody on one of it's particular scenes would be helpful lol

Thanks for pointing out my mistakes, jackx. I seem to have been excited while writing the screenplay :P

It helps a lot to put "cut to" and it's used in modern screenplays for Hollywood screenplays :]

"Cut to's" just take up time and space and are unneeded.

They are being phased out in "Hollywood screenplays".

Your logline doesn't give us any info on the film. Even spoof films like Scary Movie have loglines with the plot in there.

Updated: Shooting Draft up :) Please read and review. Most likely filming in the spring and shipping off into film festival screens in autumn :)