Bloomb Thicket's Opera - The Xilon of Witch Racket by R. U. Sleeping - Short, Family Horror - In 1977 on Halloween night, SimplyEarth launched The Voyager Spacecraft with its Golden Record into space. What happened to it results in the birth of Xilon's new Messiah King. - pdf, format 8)

Well, this is idiosyncratic! It has a largely incomprehensible and unpronounceable title, uses a font that is hard to read and is certainly not standard, and  seems to be more a SF story than a horror story!

I didn't like it much at all - this is not my cup of tea really anyway. It does demonstrate the wide range of different approaches that the OWC can elicit - but this one is perhaps to wide of the mark.

Sorry writer, I don't have a clue on this one. Formatting choice didn't help (bolded, non-courier font throughout.)

Gary

Oh boy, here we go again!

Not going to be able to get through this one, sorry to say.  I know who wrote this and it doesn't surprise me how whacked out it is.

That font is terrible!

Sorry, but that's all I can say here.

Quoted from grademan Formatting choice didn't help (bolded, non-courier font throughout.)

what do you mean? the font is courier and the right size. it's not bolded... :-/

at least not on my laptop.

I am sorry to say that I couldn't finish this script. I stopped at the conversation between Marshall and Bloom. I was waiting for something to happen to make some sense of the story, but even the dialogue is incomprehensible!

If the writer is still around, I really want to hear what his/her intention is.

Sorry.

Yeah, I think the writer of this one is pretty obvious.  Unless I'm totally off.  That is one he11 of an imagination you have.  Inventive use of language.  But, the story was also extremely difficult to follow and really isn't anything close to Family Horror.  Family Sci-Fi, I'd say.  This almost seems like a story you had in your head for awhile and then decided to make it fit into the OWC.  Sorry if I'm wrong about that, it's just how the script read to me.  So, it was imaginative, creative and almost incomprehensible.  

I made two attempts to read this one. The first, I had to stop three or four pages in. The second, I finished it. Honestly, I couldn't tell anyone what exactly is going on here. I'm not sure if it was the use of words like "Merlinized" and "Azquick" or the font which made me feel like I'd had too much to drink. The title character is introduced kinda late and it's hard to tell exactly what his role is in the story. The dialogue is far too abstract to comprehend, really, even without silly words. Yet it didn't seem like the person was trying too hard to make it that way. I imagine the person who wrote this (I have an idea who) has generally strange sensibilities when it comes to writing. I think if I tried to write something like this, I wouldn't be able to make it as weird and abstract as this is.

Anyway, I didn't find this successful at all. Probably the most perplexing script I've read here. Nevertheless, it's neither horror, family-oriented or involves any sort of festival. If anything, the entire world seems to be the festival. So yeah. Went over my head. Sorry.

Maybe it's because I just woke up - but I seemed to actually get some of the story in this one.  Ok! It's obvious who wrote it and I tried doubly hard to understand it.  But it's basically a story about the arrival of an extraterrestrial machine that's going to do bad things when they turn it on unless they can find a way to distract everyone's attention.  It's filled with lots of nonsense, good sort of nonsense and my favorite part is when Spock is looking for his logic.  You're getting better at making your unique brand of story understandable and followable - keep up the good work.  I think the problem with this one was that the mythos for the story was too complex to fit in 12 pages. You needed a bit more space to introduce us to this strange universe, so that we feel comfortable with the concepts.  

As far as the challenge goes I don't think this is horror and I think it's far too complex for young children. Though that being said, maybe it is for young children and too complex for adults.  Actually, I'm not sure so we'll just leave it at too complex.  But I thought there was a spark there...

**OOO    

I am never good at guessing who wrote what! But if I am right in my vague suspicions regarding this script, which have been strengthened by some of the above comments, then it would explain a lot.

But then it may turn out I wrote this one!

Errrr....Not sure about this really.  It's certainly more sci-fi than horror but more importantly is just plain weird.  Some of the dialogue is just gibberish...isn't it?  I don't see how it fits any of the themes or even tries, not one of my favourites, sorry.

I've been away for a few days, but it's obvious that people know who wrote this.

Did I write this? Maybe I did.

Well...

If I did, then here is my response. If I did. But I could be just stringing you along.

First off I want to say Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this THING.

And who knows what it is, really. Well, I do, but you don't; so I'll try and figure out a way in the future to transliterate. ...and when I do... it will probably be like Michael says:

0000000 .....

My first comment is that I wrote this after one day of research and two days of intensity. I'm flattered by anyone who thinks this had been written previously and adapted. Why the hell would I do that? I don't need that shit. All I need is work. Period. That's me.

I want to say that I don't mean for it to be incomprehensible. My intention is to provide meaning and so how can that be? Go figure!

How did I write this sucker? After I learned the theme, I started focusing and researching for over a day. I didn't have a long time because I needed to prepare for a congress in Buffalo and I felt very stressed actually. And yet, at the same time I was invigorated and excited for the challenge. As time went on, I knew that I was not going to be writing write-on-theme.

The question is: Why did I chose to disobey "the law"? I blame it on George.  Seriously. When we were working together and he (I can't remember his exact words) but he disregarded the word count in favor of the ending he desired at that point. …well, that had liberated me. I understood and felt in a tangible way what he knew and I knew it too. It's still no excuse, but at least you know where I'm coming from. In a nutshell:

I wrote the OWC in 2 days which was a record for me. The story was about a Golden Record that was sent into space in the 70s. The spine of the story is true, but I've embellished it. The time capsule was not launched into space on Halloween and as far as I know, Carl Sagan never really did dress up as his beloved "Star Stuff".

I'll ask you: Have you ever watched "Cosmos?" If not, then that's probably why I've messed you around on this one- at least partially.

Carl Sagan was the chair of a committee that was designed to launch a soundtrack to be sent out in space on the Voyager. He chose Bach to be one of the melodies played among other sounds from earth. They used symbols to help translate the message to foreigners. (I called this a universal language in the script which I believe truly exists).

My daughter and I study linguistics and so the concept of universal symbols (which were actually used) came to play in this.

I could go off on many tangents right now on this particular story that is rooted in truth, but I'm going to cut short because it's getting later than late and I've got burn out.

I'll get working on the reads now. Again...

Thanks to everyone who bothered to read this THING.  ;D and maybe someday
I'll be able to speak to you in a language you will understand.

Sandra

Quoted from Sandra Elstree. Have you ever watched "Cosmos?" If not, then that's probably why I've messed you around on this one- at least partially.

Cosmos, probably the best documenatry about the universe ever made.

Sandra, have you ever read the two books John Lennon wrote in the Beatles heyday?
'In His Own Write' and 'A Spaniard In the Works'?

Some of your word play and deliberate misspelling reminds me of it.

You always try something different for the OWC's and I dig it.

I don't understand it but I dig it....

PS you left your name on the PDF properties page.

Hey Sandra,

I thought I'd check this one out since already outed yourself. You're a weird woman, Sandra (and I mean that in a good way), your script here is just as weird but really, when you think about it - and it does require some background knowledge - it's really not that weird.

I actually liked this one. To me - if I understand it correct - it's a very ironic tale. This is basically a reversed version of Carl Sagan's "Contact". Voyagers 1 and 2 (both launched in 1977) each carried a Golden Gramaphone onboard containing "The Murmurs of Earth"...put together by, among others, Carl Sagan.

Now, in your script, the Gramaphone reaches another civilization and completely screws them up - exactly the opposite of what was intended of it - much like "The Machine" does in Contact.

Getting past the very annoying font you used, it's actually a pretty well written script. You chose a style and a tone a stuck with even through the dialogue. Ballsy move, lady. Kudos.

As for the theme and genre...well, if you stretch it a bit, yeah, I guess it fits. I thought it was more a dark comedy though.

All in all, I thought it was good - you know, if I understood it correctly :)

Keep up the good work, Sandra.

Cheers
Rob

Quoted from sniper Hey Sandra, I thought I'd check this one out since already outed yourself. You're a weird woman, Sandra (and I mean that in a good way), your script here is just as weird but really, when you think about it - and it does require some background knowledge - it's really not that weird. I actually liked this one. To me - if I understand it correct - it's a very ironic tale. This is basically a reversed version of Carl Sagan's "Contact". Voyagers 1 and 2 (both launched in 1977) each carried a Golden Gramaphone onboard containing "The Murmurs of Earth"...put together by, among others, Carl Sagan. Now, in your script, the Gramaphone reaches another civilization and completely screws them up - exactly the opposite of what was intended of it - much like "The Machine" does in Contact. Getting past the very annoying font you used, it's actually a pretty well written script. You chose a style and a tone a stuck with even through the dialogue. Ballsy move, lady. Kudos. As for the theme and genre...well, if you stretch it a bit, yeah, I guess it fits. I thought it was more a dark comedy though. All in all, I thought it was good - you know, if I understood it correctly :) Keep up the good work, Sandra. Cheers Rob

Thank you, Rob. Yes, there is a lot contained within this script, a kind of agenda within it you might say. I just want to apologize for whatever is happening on other people's end with the font.

My husband opened it up in his computer to check it also and it was fine. I just don't know what is happening except that when some people open it up it's fine, and when others do, it's turning out as bold. I have no idea there, but I'll have to try and figure out why this could be happening.

Sandra

Quoted from stevie Sandra, have you ever read the two books John Lennon wrote in the Beatles heyday? 'In His Own Write' and 'A Spaniard In the Works'? Some of your word play and deliberate misspelling reminds me of it. You always try something different for the OWC's and I dig it. I don't understand it but I dig it.... PS you left your name on the PDF properties page.

Thank you Stevie. No, I haven't read these books. Thank you so much for suggesting them. I'm going to pick them up. I have so much work to do. When will I find time, but certainly I'm writing down the titles on my grocery list.

I'm trying to do so many things concurrently it's a bit absurd actually. A bit? That's an understatement.

I didn't know about my name being in the "properties page". I'm very bad with working the technical side of things. Thank you for bringing that to my attention.

Sandra

This is damn strange, I just opened the document again and this time it's in plain old non-bold courier. When I read it previously - at work - the font was some weird bold Times New Roman wannabe font.

Quoted from sniper This is damn strange, I just opened the document again and this time it's in plain old non-bold courier. When I read it previously - at work - the font was some weird bold Times New Roman wannabe font.

Weird things like to happen around me. I could digress a whole pile and start telling a bunch of stories that would make our heads spin right now, but yeah. There's a lot of weirdness going on.

Thanks so much for the video song with Carl. I really love him a lot and it means a lot to me. Also seeing Steven Hawking in this is simply amazing. I love the larger aspect beyond "sunrise" to include the words: A Galaxy Rise! That is phenomenal! Yes, I'm definitely lovesick.

Sandra

Quoted from sniper This is damn strange, I just opened the document again and this time it's in plain old non-bold courier. When I read it previously - at work - the font was some weird bold Times New Roman wannabe font.

It's because they played that damn grammaphone, ezquick!

Haha

Here's how I understand it:

Earthians found XILON, a planet, suspecting there's life on it. They send Witch Racket to take a gramophone to Xilonians as everyone is believed to understand the language of music.
Bloomb, a brilliant child is selected to crack the manual. but here's teh thing - he understands that if they crack it it might have reverse affect and bring out something bad in Xilonians and if they don't... well they just can't not.

Here's what I did not understand:
p12 - Bloomb cranks the Xilon. Up pops a jack-in-the-box. He's not
impressed, but shocked.
p11 "adding everything conceivable and inconceivable" - exactly what?

You started with "EXT. XILON - OLDEN PAVILION GROUNDS - DAY" as if expecting us to know right away that Xilon is another planet. And maybe someone gets Xilon right away, but it took me awile.
I don't think you need STRAW, he just appears in the first scene (have I missed something?) and if you're not planning to have him later then why to start with him... He was a distraction for me. But the scene and the kiss is very funny, I think.

Bloomb and Marshal's conversations are exceptionally funny. I loved the way Bloomb "got the mission".

Somewhere in the script you dropped "they controll the evil",  the "Something" could have been presented clearer and the soup better tied to a story, I think.

Other than that it's very original (now who may deny that?) and witty and funny. Complicated and misleading at times for me, yes.

But still, I liked it overall.

Driving along one day with the kids, listening to Weird Al sing Yoda, The Saga Begins, and our new favorite, Skipper Dan, it occured to me the fact that on Star Trek, the Next Generation, they had a few writers who's job it was to come up with a vocabulary that was consistent for use in the show, hence the birth of the Klingon dialect, of which both Shakespear and the New Testament has been translated for these extraterrestrial brethren.

It occured to me it might be an interesting topic for a script, where all terminology was replaced by a bizarre alternate language (Yo mambo dogface...banana patch?)  

At the end of this slight passing thought, I figured...Nahh. Folks would probably be frustrated and confused by this mental challenge.

However, the idea behind this, an alien culture trying to make sense of the Golden record, is a good one. Had a hard if not impossible time visualizing anything, as there were no references. It's a fine line with descriptions, but we need some to at least have an idea...(Dr. Suess used nonsense words, but in a visual, illustrative medium there is little question what a Zizzer Zazzer Zuzz is, and, in that context, makes perfect sense)...

Need these visuals to fill in the mental blanks.

(and I would hope that, when the record plays, it includes Phil Collins singing Against All Odds...)

Quoted from khamanna Here's how I understand it: Earthians found XILON, a planet, suspecting there's life on it. They send Witch Racket to take a gramophone to Xilonians as everyone is believed to understand the language of music.

I just didn't have enough room in this and had to cut. Witch Racket's role is that of a spiritual flyer. She flies back and forth between Earth and Xilon through her mystic powers. She travels to other worlds also working the balance scale, always initiating trouble and canceling it henceforth.

In this case, she's initiating the canceling of the Gramaphone's negative constructs by giving the gift of the Xilon. The Gramaphone must be played. It's just the way things are. Period. There's no choice there. Like, "I didn't chose to be born. To suffer I just am. Period."

The Xilon's a device that draws and holds negative energies that coexist with the positive energies once released into the environment. To simplify: It's basically a holding tank. But every vessel has its limits; so the Xilonians will need to make decisions about how much dark energy they allow to be released, where, and when and they will also have to deal with the consequences of their decisions.

Earthians did not find Xilon at all. They send out Earth's audio essence (the golden record) and a universal symbolic language including numerical equations "out there" dreaming, and in hopes, that one day, it will make contact with another civilization.

Well, AGAINST ALL ODDS! Sorry for swearing, but it does.

Quoted from khamanna Bloomb, a brilliant child is selected to crack the manual. but here's teh thing - he understands that if they crack it it might have reverse affect and bring out something bad in Xilonians and if they don't... well they just can't not. Here's what I did not understand: p12 - Bloomb cranks the Xilon. Up pops a jack-in-the-box. He's not impressed, but shocked. p11 "adding everything conceivable and inconceivable" - exactly what?

You're absolutely correct. I thought about this after the fact too and I actually wanted to draw the picture of "the evil clown" popping up out of the Xilon. Would be a solid image.

For space reasons again I couldn't write all of what was put in the pot and so I thought I'd leave it up to your imagination for now. But suffice it to say I saw them putting in stupid things like a chip off the old block of wood from the firewood pile. A few nuts and bolts. Very black bananas. That sort of thing.

Quoted from khamanna You started with "EXT. XILON - OLDEN PAVILION GROUNDS - DAY" as if expecting us to know right away that Xilon is another planet. And maybe someone gets Xilon right away, but it took me awile. I don't think you need STRAW, he just appears in the first scene (have I missed something?) and if you're not planning to have him later then why to start with him... He was a distraction for me. But the scene and the kiss is very funny, I think.

Thanks, I agree it needs to be labeled "Planet" because if you're just coming in and know nothing, it's confusing.

As far as Straw goes, I know of his identity and it's very subtle, but I feel his persona and I can just imagine his big time Top Advisor status and see him running like a child and at the same time swearing to beat the band. I think I would too, having had found out about The Golden for the first time.

Quoted from khamanna Bloomb and Marshal's conversations are exceptionally funny. I loved the way Bloomb "got the mission".

Thank you. It was a joy to see these two characters. I give credit to Mike Shelton because when he mentioned the notion of Scooby Doo, I thought Toodle Boos and Toodle Boos is a ghost who they celebrate in the weeks leading up to Halls Eve. Toodle Boos are also a type of rag-tag clothing ripped and wind-swept looking that the teenage boys wear at this time.

Bloomb, being held down by his mother's preconception that Toodle was evil and against God, was forced to "look stupid" in contrast to his peers.

I couldn't put in the scene where Marshal delivers the poem to Bloomb's mother, or the poem itself, but that's how she goes.

[/quote]

Quoted from khamanna Somewhere in the script you dropped "they controll the evil",  the "Something" could have been presented clearer and the soup better tied to a story, I think. Other than that it's very original (now who may deny that?) and witty and funny. Complicated and misleading at times for me, yes. But still, I liked it overall.

Yes, I agree. I think the "role" of the soup has been clouded because again, I needed to cut. There was some very interesting dialogue where Bloomb explains how their focused concentration on the soup pot would enable him to scoop up the dark energy using the Xilon in an easier and more timely manner. Bloomb uses analogy and you know what? His analogy had me confused...

I had to really think about the three things he was referring to. YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND but, in the dialogue that I cut, Bloomb spoke of three items: A broom a dustpan and the Xilon itself which was like a furnace. Actually there were four things if you include the action of Bloomb, five, if you include the concentration of the affected Xilons and six, if you include the fuel. Oh, and maybe seven, if you call each one's attention, one crumb that was being swept into the dustpan by Bloomb.

I'm glad you enjoyed it some. I certainly enjoyed engaging with these characters and it was a complete joy to write. Maybe they'll come back to play some day. I hope so.

Sandra

WHATTTTTTTTTT????????????????????

Our Missy Sandra does it again...it takes a very creative mind to be able to come up with non existent words...close to our crude English :)  in a world that does not colide with our own...maybe we are too sensible to understand the twirling swirl of the cauldron's soup...but I think it probably did taste good...but how can Bach be bad for anyone? :) *wink

I can't say that I loved it...but I got a chuckle or two while reading it.  

I percieve that I must fall into the category and share with the opinion of our dear SS, Cornetto...in that I got the story and the language and I want to wear those comfy clothes too...and DO every evening when I get home from work! :)

Cheers...for only you would give our literary challenge a style and flavor of it's own...we do not all dance to the beat of the same drummer...and thank God for that...

Morgan  *smiling at you*

Quoted from MBCgirl WHATTTTTTTTTT???????????????????? Our Missy Sandra does it again...it takes a very creative mind to be able to come up with non existent words...close to our crude English :)  in a world that does not colide with our own...maybe we are too sensible to understand the twirling swirl of the cauldron's soup...but I think it probably did taste good...but how can Bach be bad for anyone? :) *wink I can't say that I loved it...but I got a chuckle or two while reading it.   I percieve that I must fall into the category and share with the opinion of our dear SS, Cornetto...in that I got the story and the language and I want to wear those comfy clothes too...and DO every evening when I get home from work! :) Cheers...for only you would give our literary challenge a style and flavor of it's own...we do not all dance to the beat of the same drummer...and thank God for that... Morgan  *smiling at you*

Thank you Morganna. I would like to shop for material and sew myself some Toodle Boos. Of course I will need a sharp knife and scissors after that.  ;)

I do have a giant ladle that my brother gave me and several sharp knives that he personally sharpened. True, really. He lives in the bush, remember? Maybe they will help.  ;D

Sandra

I do remember your "bush" brother :)  

Sometimes we look at the things people give us (not always tangible things) and wonder what in the #@%@@ will we ever use these for...and then it happens...one day we just need them and we're happy someone gave them to us for that moment to be utilized in some special way. lol

Carry on!

M-e

Thank you Sandra for your response. I truly enjoyed your explanations. You know your characters well, you  created a backstory for each... And maybe it the right way to do it.

It's a real pot, right? Not weed:)) It could mean both unless you totally against the "weed" pot.

Quoted from khamanna Thank you Sandra for your response. I truly enjoyed your explanations. You know your characters well, you  created a backstory for each... And maybe it the right way to do it. It's a real pot, right? Not weed:)) It could mean both unless you totally against the "weed" pot.

You know what? People used to think, back when I started, that I was "smoking up" when writing. I'm referring specifically to Miss Bronikus, which was I think my first OWC.

The truth was then, that I hadn't smoked up since I was in my late teens. My husband and myself had smoked up on the job at the cannery when we were kids working at the plant in Richmond, B.C. That is the truth and later, we did a little some too, but I had quit because it just didn't have a great appeal to me.

My vice was drinking. Me and my sister-in-law could probably drink all of you innocents under the table. It probably has something to do with my Russian heritage.

Anyways, my code to live by was to NOT drink when you're pregnant. And to NOT drink until all of your serious work was done for the day.

Now, I'll fast-forward. You guys have had an influence on me and I'm seriously thinking on smoking again. Seriously. Not to be going against any religious code or anything, but because I've had some personal revelations and I need to work with them.

I promise, now and serious.... that if I do work under the influence of a nice sweet herb, then I will tell you all. This, I promise, and absolutely.

As of yet, I haven't, but I am very weird and as of late, (about a month ago) I started even taking my coffee black. Should I say, "How cool is that?" Or should I say, "What's with that?"

Always a joy,

Sandra

Quoted from Sandra Elstree. You guys have had an influence on me and I'm seriously thinking on smoking again.

Puff-Puff-Give  :)

Whew.  I hung in there and read the whole thing.  I'm pooped.  I've got billy-uns and billy-uns of tiny sparkles of light dancing in my head.  This story, albeit dense and chock-full of everything but the kitchen sink, failed to 'give me something!'  This was sort of like a Marx Brothers skit on LSD.  I'm tired, Sandra.  So very tired.  

Sorry. I couldn't get through this.

It was sort of spaceman meets the pumpkin king.

I struggled on for a few pages, but just didn't get it.

I can normally pick out a few choice moments that intrigued me..., but not in this.

Sorry!

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read Bloomb. May you be blessed as we enter the stretch of the final days of 2009.

Today is November 5, 2009 and I have this:

(Don't ask why, my world is very complicated.)

The horse, in Gaelic, is also known as the Goddess.  It represents the land and travel.

***

Think right. Think in deed.

Sandra

Well then Sandra,

Finally got round to returning some reads I know I owe.

I see you've got a slamming from some of those less tolerant than myself. And I ain't that tolerant.

Rob makes a good point about Cosmos - a tuly amazing series. If God has a voice it would sound exactly like Carl Sagan. In my head at least. And that vid was awesome dude - a word I use sparingly.

Quoted from Bloomb Thicket's Opera - The Xilon of Witch Racket FADE IN FADE OUT FADE IN:

Weird start. But then its a weird script.

Well written, could do with a bit of tidying but not much.

Some of it is inspired! Carl Sagan, bless his heart.

It has a definite style that I haven't seen before, which is nice.

Past tense slips in here and there. Could do with fixing. Bit of telling now showing happening a bit too much though.

I realise this was for an OWC, so obviously some leniency has to be given. I did find it very enjoyable, and very different - a good combination.

Ren

Quoted from rendevous Well then Sandra, Finally got round to returning some reads I know I owe. I see you've got a slamming from some of those less tolerant than myself. And I ain't that tolerant. Rob makes a good point about Cosmos - a tuly amazing series. If God has a voice it would sound exactly like Carl Sagan. In my head at least. And that vid was awesome dude - a word I use sparingly. Weird start. But then its a weird script. Well written, could do with a bit of tidying but not much. Some of it is inspired! Carl Sagan, bless his heart. It has a definite style that I haven't seen before, which is nice. Past tense slips in here and there. Could do with fixing. Bit of telling now showing happening a bit too much though. I realise this was for an OWC, so obviously some leniency has to be given. I did find it very enjoyable, and very different - a good combination. Ren

Thank you for traversing the abyss and flying Delta Intergalactic. Please enjoy flying with us again in the future. Enjoy yourselves in your travels and have a safe and wonderful journey. ;)

Sandra

I loved this.

A bona-fide trip into a darkly comic, strange and surreal, weird and wonderful world via a script that combined elements of action, adventure, sci-fi, zombie horror and fairytale all rolled into one.

Notice how "family" isn't listed above as one of the genres that this wide all-other-genre spanning tale encompasses. I mean, I would love to see a ten year old sit in front of this for 12 minutes. He/she wouldn't know where to look. Of course I could be underestimating the collective intelligence of today's pre-teens but all I know is, at that age, I would've been crying from confusion by the 3rd minute.

However, as a standalone script, I thought this was spectacularly rich, vividly colourful, full of imagination and rather witty in places, in both visual and verbal realms. Marshal and Bloomb had some great exchanges, real clever, funny stuff (again, Bloomb is waaay too smart for a 10 year old and again I could be waaay underestimating the youngsters)

Also the prose had amusing little quips here and there sure to ruffle the feathers of all the screenwriting pedants out there and coax their wattles to frisson with furious outrage. Personally, I enjoyed every word of them as they all had some relevance both obscure and apparent to the story which only enlivened and embellished the read.

Not for everyone sure and it may not go down well as the matinee billing in theatres near you but hell I dug the ride.

Col.