Real Love by Josh J. (usaking) - Short, Drama, Romance - One year after a terrible event, a boy notices something strange happening at night. 6 pages - pdf, format 8)

Thanks for getting this up, Don. I forgot to say it in the logline, but this is based on a true story of a guy I met about 2 years ago. I hope everyone who gets a chance to read it enjoys it as well.

It could have been longer with much more characterization.  Way too short to leave a lasting impressio.

I was thinking of making this a much longer script, but I knew that I couldn't with the material that I had. Plus, I didn't want to get away from the real story. To be safe, I stayed with the true story and just wrote it as a short script.

Medium blonde hair. I think the author can do better on that one. First page has gotta be sparkling. Hopefully the rest of the script will be too then.

Sits.  Other ways to describe a chap resting on his cheeks. Repetition of word can be effecting. Sometime very effective. Other times it can grate a bit. As do my barbed comments. On occasion. Ahem.

Your gay. Shoerely shome mishsteak m'lud. Sounds like he means the other guy made an error.

I could go on but I'm more interested in stories. So, here goes.

I am often hugely amused at your scripts UK. It's clear others are not. But that's okay.

You've got a good method to switch emotion quickly and have a reader going 'eh? what happened then. What's going on 'ere?'. I like that.

I smiled. I went 'what?'. And all that. Wasn't too sure how this would play out on screen, tho. The dialogue didn't really strike me as realistic. But good actors would sort that.

I'll feel many things when I read one of your stories.

Often much more than I feel reading many scripts by other authors. As some of them just bore the arse off me. I can't say I'm ever bored reading one of yours.

And I'm usually grinning when I get to the end. As I was in this case.

However, you're chucking em up faster than I usedta at the mo. I'd consider slwoing it down. Rewriting and polishing more. Making them longer of shorter.

I'd like to read something you're really proud of.

Either way, keep it cooking.

R

I admit that I wrote this script very fast. The reason I did is simply because I was born with a bad memory, and I thought that this story was very interesting, especially since it is so loving. Although I did complete this script very quickly, I am proud of it. It isn't my best work, but I still love it a lot. Thank you for taking your time to read, and thanks for the compliments as well.

Bad memory. Buhger, where's me keys? Where's me dog? Oh feck. Where's me house.

We've all got memories that occasionally let us down. Why did I come in this room, I wonder? Oh yes...

The point I was making is that writing at a phemonenal rate is great. But, posting them all on the internet as soon as they are finished may not be the best policy for you. Personally, I'd be more selective about which ones I post. Hey, UK. That's only friendly advice. I'm only another penniless shitekicker from the wrong side o' town. I ain't Charlie Kaufman. Far from it.

Whatever you do though - keep writing. To ever stop is just silly.

R