3 Nazis in a Foxhole by Joshua Bushman - Short, Comedy - Jon, Claude, and Howie are long time Nazi buddies that get together at the end of each day to discuss what has happened. But this day is different. Find out how by reading this all out comedy. 6 pages - pdf, format 8)

Oh boy. This script remains me of another script I read a long time ago with a character named Yorkshire. I don't mean that in a bad way, but just saying. Your formatting is all correct, except for your first action lines, which seem to be a bit long.

Why in the world do your characters keep saying "Yaw"? This is why I see it similar to the Yorkshire script I was talking about. I counted 15 "Yaw"s. It doesn't offend me, but I have a bad feeling that people on SS might whiplash you for it. Oh by the way, I just noticed that you use "da" a lot too. What is this script supposed to be? Funny or streotypical?

The story itself is okay, but not much goes on. The title says it all. 3 nazis sit in a foxhole and talk. That's it. They talk and do things that don't really mean anything, at least to me. It's a good attempt. Maybe other members might like it, but it wasn't for me.

I don't get this script.  Is it meant to be an actual attempt at comedy, or is it meant to be a stereotyping goofball fest?  I see it working as a camp skit or an MC interlude at a variety show, but it does not seem to have any cinematic potential to it.

And a German named Howie?  At that moment I assumed that this must be a deliberate move to make the piece as outlandish as possible.  Yet lacking any fresh gags or twists, I quickly lost interest.

If it were to be worked on, then the accents would need to be written correctly.  "Yaw" should be "ja."   "We we" into "oui, oui," "uw-ber" into "uber" and the dialect would need to actually be studied.  Your inaccurate execution of writing dialect, regardless of style, made the dialogue harder to read.


The formatting isn't bad, but the storyline feels pointless and lacks polish.  I would be wary in the future of writing more of this fare, as I doubt it showcases your true talents.

I dare you to be bold and original.  You can do it.

Oh god, comedy gold, genius, was pissing my pants by page 2.

"Hile Five" genius.

German for yes is "Jah" not "Yaw" though it is pronounced "Yah".

The ending was brilliant, just the pay off I expected.

Come on Jeff, get in on this one!

Yes, another true classic.  Josh Bushman is a force to be reckoned with.  Too bad he won't respond to any comments or say anything...guess he saves all his talking for his genius scripts.

As in his neweset epic, every single line has multiple mistakes on them.  Doesn't get much better than this.

Josh, keep up the great work!!!

Josh, you gotta do some research for period pieces. Willy Wonka was not written until 1964, the film in 1971. So the guys can't joke about it in 1945.

Best of luck, happy Thanksgiving!

This is exceptional. I really wish the writer would pop in.  

"Oh I forgot, after the bubble bath the Hitler likes da good rub down. He was whispering things in my ear like he liked his bum to be da pounded. So I rubbed as hard as I could and he made quite da moan".

Comedy writers take note of the phrase "Oh I forgot" at the start of this revelation. Watch and learn. This is just one snippet some of the great stuff in this script.

They fact that 'Ja' and 'Heil' are spelled incorrectly improves the story. I would love to see this guys stuff get produced.

Seriously.

wow, awesome.  i am thankful for this script.  i know everyone is being facecious, but ive read all this guy's stuff and it genuinely makes me laugh

*facetious

Quoted from Conz *facetious

I'm happy you told us that Conz because I thought you misspelled faeces.

I figured I had to read this.  And I was ready to dislike it but I actually thought it was funny.   It was definitely a skit and it had that TV comedy skit feel about it - but an antique one from years ago - like the sort of thing Sid Caesar would do on Your Show of Shows.  

It did have a lot of mistakes and a good proof read would really help things.  I loved the cultural imitations and got a real laugh out of the British and the American one.  The love affair with Hitler thing wasn't funny enough, it could use a bit more work to set it up better and follow it through.  As it was that bit was kind of choppy.   I also thought the end could have been much better than it was, it needs more - not sure exactly what - but more.

So, whoever wrote this, you have a sense of humor, keep writing.  

For what it's worth, I laughed while reading it.  It would make an okay skit with the right performers.  I liked the impersonations best.  Would've liked to've seen more of those than the Hitler shower rub down thing.

And I don't mean just more impersonations of cultures, but of high profile people at the time.

I'm seriously not being facetious. I laughed at loud as well. I'd rather that than read something technically sound that does nothing for me.  

I really like this fella's stuff.

'Damn you, Bruce' is just as good.

I try to avoid scripts where the writer receives this much flack but Joshua Bushman seems to be the talk of the boards for the moment so I figured... why not?

What a waste.

Not funny as it was intended nor as it wasn't intended. The misspelled and poorly researched dialect only made the dialogue more annoying. The jokes were lazy and random yet not even bad enough to elicit any unintentional entertainment.

I'll check out "Damn You Bruce!" because of the title and the more interesting reviews but this one was a disappointment, even with low expectations.

Since I "unearthed" the lost pieces of the Bushman trilogy, thought I should chime in. ;D

Putting Hitler and Wonka in the same line, that's a bold move.
There are some genuine groaners here. Big time.
But I think that's where you're after, I suppose we'll never know.

And that's part of the fun of your scripts, thanks for playing.

Regards,
E.D.

Another masterpiece from Josh Bushman. The gay (has to be gay) nazi doing a French impression is my highlight from this little bundle of joy. Keep em coming!

Steve

Quoted from leitskev Josh, you gotta do some research for period pieces. Willy Wonka was not written until 1964, the film in 1971. So the guys can't joke about it in 1945. Best of luck, happy Thanksgiving!

Very true, but the book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory takes place in the 1920's, the time period in which the author Roald Dahl was a child. So in a weird way the three nazi buddies could of known about dah Willy Wonka and dah Chocolate factory. After all that fictional event took place over twenty years before their time.

Have a merry X-MAS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIUKhvaFkbY&list=PL712AB8A7CDF51A29&index=7&feature=plpp_video

If you liked the script you'll love the film!
Cheers,
Josh B.

2:12....that's where I stopped.

How funny.  I made it exactly that far as well.  I almost left a bit earlier.   That was pretty bad Josh (pretty good views though).

You probably had lots of fun doing it and I think that counts.  Here's my comments for what it's worth.  

The acting was atrocious.  The best out of the bunch was the blonde haired Hitler lover.   Rehearse so everyone feels comfortable with the material, then rehearse some more.  You guys aren't professionals who've done this a bunch of times - you can't wing it.  Practice the accents and the timing.  

The script is a bit uneven and the acting makes that more apparent.  If you had a tip top script even bad acting wouldn't ruin it.

But I think the hardest part to watch was whatever filter you decided to wash the video with.  If it was supposed to be a security camera, it didn't look the part.  If you did it because the costumes you were wearing didn't look right in colour,   then it was the wrong choice - plain black and white would have been better.

Another area that needs improvement for you is editing. A lot of those cuts didn't come across as smooth.

Anyway, keep at it and you'll eventually get it.  

lol! Ok, Josh, I'm sold. I watched a little. At least you guys are having fun.

Yeah I shot that flick almost 7 years ago and that was before I went to video school. If anybody wants to really 'low blow me' have a look at my newest work. Just go to YouTube and type JoshuaBman in the search section. Thanks to all that loved or hated 3 Nazi's.
Cheers
Josh B.

Um, I'm willing to bet that this one is a piss-take.  But it does make me want to (briefly) read "Bruce"...

holy crap, this is on film?!?!

Am I the only one who read this in the voices of Hans and Franz from SNL?

Quoted from Conz holy crap, this is on film?!?!

when you have your own camera, you can film anything you want.


Phil