Who Are You? by Steve Meredith - Short - How well do we know those who we say we love?  For the four people in this emotional drama, the question isn't as easy to answer as they might think. 8 pages - pdf, format 8)

When I tried to pull this up, pages with weird symbols showed on the screen.  Is there another way to pull up this story?

Hmmm, something about nothing.

It's a bit of a mess.

The ending felt deflated like it built up to a a crescendo to reveal blah.  Hope this doesn't sound too rude.

You have a missing slug on pg 6 for HALLWAY, incorrect slugs which should be written like INT. and not INT -

Some of your wrylies can be deleted or need fixed.  
What's with matter-of-factly? (emotionless, matter-of-factly)

Your dialogue chunks can be broken up.

You should be careful with the over use of 'is' words and 'ing' words.  A sentence like:

He is left sitting up in his bed.  Can be shortened to 'He sits up in bed'.

I kinda got confused with this this divorce thing.  Being that it's been six months, she's been with him for "years".  So why is she still with him?  Why has it taken six months to pluck up the courage to say she wants a divorce?


All the best with any potential rewrites.



Javier

This wasn't bad. Kinda liked it. I always appreciate it when a writer makes the effort to take a topic and give it more than one point of view.  So when you flipped it and looked at it from Scott's perspective, that, for me, is what saved this from just simply being a little slice of mellodrama.  And the bit with the door was a nice touch.

The dialogue does feel very on the nose, though.  Especially the monologues.  Which is okay if you are writing an afternoon soap opera.  And like Javier said, there are a few formatting issues like the slugs and you don't need colons after your character names.

Keep at it, Steve.  I hope to see more from ya.
Joey