No Meat by Anonymous - Short, Drama - Ronald and Katherine are carnivores.  Abigail is a vegan.  What does a backyard BBQ have to do with an eggplant?  - doc, format 8)

OK, someone is definitely fucking around here...at least I hope so.

Seriously, some of the best worst dialogue ever.  Truly hysterical.

Descriptions are also awful.  I don't think there's a single comma in here.

BUT, I actually did laugh at the end.  Funny stuff, but I'm 98% sure this is another pissatke...if not, could be 1 of the worst scripts I've ever seen.

Yeah, this was a pisstake BUT at least it was reasonably funny!  A pisstake has to be funny to succeed!

I'd like to see this filmed. J Bush could play Ronald. Michael could even do it as a machinima.

Well, that was fun. Not even gonna bother reviewing it proper-like. It's a joke and it worked. Kudos!

Well, unlike the other pisstakes I won't call this a complete waste of time as it was actually pretty funny.

Got some formatting gaffes you need to fix.

YES!  I want to play Ronald.

I think I could deliver those witty lines of his quite well.  The dialogue exchanges sound so realistic!

Haha this was pretty funny, obviously no need to comment on anything as it was just someone taking the piss. Good job though.

Cheers,
Tim.

Good old Ronald.  Lord of the eggplants.  

This dialogue would make sense if all three of them had been lobotomized.  Well, at least you went for a laugh.

Short and...the eggplant fell into the pool! Oh my gosh...as bad as it is...truly bad grammatically...it is TRULY funny and I think the story line is pretty clever and off the normal, over beaten, path. I laughed all the way to the end.

This one wants to be daring but the treatment and the dialogs are  very poor. Sounds like a (very) bad porn from the 70' to me.

Michel 8)

A guy and two vegan lesbians talking by the pool. And the guy's wearing a tight white speedo. I agree with Michel, this is a lost script from the 70's porn vault. Poorly done with a chuckle. OK, who around here writes in MS Word?

Okay so you’re doing the jokey porn thing. Overall that’s a mildly amusing waste of time.

;D

Someone's having fun around here!

RONALD
Hi Katherine, how are you?

KATHERINE
Well, I keep getting wedgies from my teeny weeny bikini,
but otherwise I'm fine. Whatcha doin'?

RONALD
Just hosin'.

ABIGAIL
What am I doing in this script if I don't get to have a threesome?

RONALD
Sorry, I'm just the eggplant man. I tried my best.

;D

I enjoyed this one. Splendid piece of crap!  ;D

Sandra

Priceless. I mean this is priceless. A funny absolute snapshot of perfection. It takes you on a journey to where? Your soul. If you did not feel that with this script, start sizing yourself for a coffen, because you are already dead.

I wept. Bitterly at first, then as an elderly man in soiled depends.

If I were the editor of HUSTLER, I would give this 4 straight up boners.

Shawn.....><

Now you guys don't be making fun of 1970s porn plots.  They were much more believable than this script.

I'm getting tired of reading these scripts mocking the OWC. I won't comment on this. Thanks for taking my time. I hope you repay those who read this.

1. You shouldn't say "Ronald has an idea". You should show us. In this case, you didn't we would figure it out.

2. This one has a great chance of getting to the screen. There are lots of porn sites around there  ;D

On jeff's review, had to read. Funny thing is, I'll bet he wrote it.

Good funny stuff here. I enjoyed it. Not much else to be said.

James

To the writer, you have a very special talent in writing for the porn industry. I couldn't even do that. Kudos!

I've been trying to get the gay porn studios to read my sci-fi scripts.  Can't even do that unless you got an agent.

Not even good enough to write bad porn.  Now that's depressing.  

Thanks to everyone who read and commented on my script.

Yes, this was obviously a big, old pisstake.  Again, I tried to break every rule in the book and come up with some of the lamest dialogue ever.  Someone correctly pointed out that it came across as 70's porn dialogue...funny stuff, IMO.

The "plot" wasn't supposed to be porn or offensive, so I'm sorry if anyone was offended.  I just wanted to write something really over the top bad and funny.  It seems like some actually found some entertainment in this, and I'm happy about that.  For those who didn't, I'm sorry.

Another perfect example of how not to write a serious script.  You won't see anymore of these pissers from me in the future, but it was really liberating and fun to write this...and read some of the comments.

It's too late to apologize!   You bastaaaaaard! >:(

Jeff - "Argh, etc., etc...argh...ummm...sorry guys"

I guess the 'time on your hands' angle is becoming clearer...

What does that mean, Simon?

Lol.  Came across this little gem.  I loved it, honestly.  I thought it was hilarious.  I didn't read any of the thread at first, so I had no idea who submitted it or anything, so I didn't know if I should take it serious or not.

I'm glad to find out that it was written as a comedy, as it makes it even more hilarious in my opinion and on a second reading, (yes, I read it twice), found even more humor the deeper I digged into the descriptions.

I understand where some may come from when they say this was a waste of time (how it shouldn't be taken seriously), but I've been after a little bit of enjoyment lately and this made my day when I came across it a couple days ago, and it made my day again now just rereading it.

I won't say who it was that wrote it, as I thought the thread was kind of cool as I read through the replies and found out the reveal.  Even the thread had its own twists and turns for this one.

-Mark

Gee, and I got so excited when I saw it was a vegan script.  No, not *that* kind of excited.

Gawd, this *better* have been an absolute pisstake...   ::)

(Okay, just read some of the other reviews.  Suspicion confirmed.  Whew!)

HaHa...thanks Mark and Janet.  I had to read this again now, myself, and I'm still laughing.  The dialogue is priceless with the repeating names over and over.

Yes, Janet, it was even written in word to accentuate its terribleness.

Thanks you two!