The Bet by Josh Bushman - Short, Comedy - Arnold AKA Reaper is a mastermind when it comes to game of Spell (similar to Magic) cards. However, his friend/ nemesis Willy AKA X Assassin has something up his sleeve. Prepare yourself for the ultimate showdown!  7 pages - pdf, format 8)

The first thing I wouldn't do is this:

Copyright (c) 2010 This
Screenplay may not b used or
reproduced without the express
written permission of the
author.

Te-he... Just use "copyright" and if you write "may not b used". People might be laughing and you don't want that. You want them to laugh with you and not at you.

So yeah, firstly, get that right.

In the beginning: (sounds like Genesis I know)...

>INT. OF ARNOLD’S ROOM

In the room with posters of dragons and wizards a twenty
something year old nerd sits.

Here, what you need to do is recognize the importance of what your
describing at this point and I use the word "describe" very loosely
because as soon as we writers hear "describe" we often get this
"weird pit-bull grab at the bone and hang on on thing" goin' on and
we overdo it all and bore our readers to death.

What I mean is that you need to zero in on what's important in
your story as a whole and as it relates and is important to
be shown in its beginning.

Consider The Nerd you want to show.

Remember, he's not just A Nerd; he's a special Nerd. He's
your Nerd because all Nerds aren't created equal.

So:

>His name is Arnold and he is
sitting at a table with cards in front of him.

**Rather than the above:

Arnold sits at his felted table with cards spread
in three equal horizontal lines of six,

By the way,

Re Intros:

Maybe:

Arnold has just hit 20, but his geeky intelligence makes him drink
a Virgin Bloody Mary-- deflowered.

**
Next--

A doorbell
rings and then Arnold’s grandma yells.

**You don't need to "tell" the story in a script in this way.

If Grandma yells, then just express that with her dialogue.

More important, might be, showing our lovely Nerd, startling
out of his concentration at the sound of the bell. Or not.

If he DOESN'T startle, it's showing his personality as much
as if he DOES; so consider this when you write.

Here:

GRANDMA (VO)
Arnold your little friend Willy is
here!

ARNOLD
Send him in grandmother!

**

I don't know anyone who calls their Gramma, Grandmother, but...

Whatever they call them, capitalize it. If they call their Grandma
Gammy, then don't write gammy, but write Gammy.

**

Arnold’s friend Willy quickly opens the door, it is revealed
that he is a fellow dork in his mid-thirties.

** You don't need to write:

It is revealed.

***By their actions you shall know them. I think that's a quote from
The Bible.  ;D

Just write the FELLOW DORK and try and get right into what
his friend is all about, right down to his toes toe nails.

Point is, if he's in the script, even a minor part, I think he's in for
a reason. Make his appearance worth it.

>He closes the
door behind him and sits in the chair across from Arnold.

During this they both give each other an evil glare.

**During this? During what?

Try and nail these guys. Just put 'em where you need 'em to be.

But show it. Try and be precise.

Like:

Dorko slumps into an overstuffed green chair.

Dorkodecker squints trying to discern his friend from the chair.

"That chair's swallowed you whole. Why does a wimp like you need such
huge furniture?"

Dorko enrages, trying, trying to raise himself out of the chair that
has swallowed him whole.

After a fart, upon his rise,

DORKO
Your as much a nerd as me!

**This is off the top, but do you see what I mean?

Capture these guys. Show THE LIFE OF IT.

Have fun with it.

Here:

WILLY
Hello Reaper it’s been a long time
sense we’ve done battle.

**Not "sense", but since.

Be careful with typos because they look like a stain upon your soul
in these parts. Hey, they probably ARE a stain upon your soul in
these parts.

**

ARNOLD
That is very true X Assassin, so
with that remark I know that you
are ready to battle once more. But
I must warn you sense the last time
we fought I have grown in strength
and wisdom.

** You're young; you'll learn since from sense.  ;D

I'm going to go back to your logline:

Arnold AKA Reaper is a mastermind when it comes to game of Spell (similar to Magic) cards. However, his friend/ nemesis Willy AKA X Assassin has something up his sleeve. Prepare yourself for the ultimate showdown!

**Try and keep your logline from 15-20 words. Loglines are really hard to write. The beauty of "the hardness" is it makes you really think about "what" your story is about.

We often think it's all legit, but we often don't have it nailed.

Hope this helps. BTW, I love the thought of a room with wizards and dragons!!!

Sandra

Had me until you brought in the Bill Cosby impersonator.  What was up with that?

Lots of typos and missing commas here.  You also had some run-on sentences.  If you fix those and maybe come up with a non-Bill Cosby ending, you could a nice little script.