Devoured by Tyler Jay - Short - Piece by piece.  6 pages - pdf, format 8)

This was enjoyable, Could be drawn out a little in the middle I feel. Keep us dangling a bit more but overall good job. It also reminded me of the hospital scene from Jacobs Ladder.

Cathead.

Why would they want Ross to stay with him? They're just gonna sell him for steaks.

Instead of evolving we're gonna eat each other in the future? Could be a good concept, if you came up with a reason.

Female Patient has no legs. Responds "What do you mean?" when asked what happened to her legs????????????????????????????????????

??????????????????????????????


?

Remote control????????????????

???????
?

Welp, I didn't like it.

James

?

This had the potential of a real gory nightmare piece, but it seemed to fall apart midway through, IMO.  I liked this idea of the guy who keeps reawakening in the hospital, only to find one more piece of himself missing.  Unfortunately, I think you went for the most obvious route with the body part salvage.  Probably not a good idea for a nurse to be carrying around a pen that says "Human Salvage" on it.  Just doesn't inspire much hope in the patients.

That being said, I think this does have potential if you kept us guessing a little longer as to what was going on, and come up with some twist we never saw coming.

Hi all,

TJ, I didn't like it. I'll explain.

I didn't get the idea of revealing the year, did I miss something?

I take it they saved him? Why? If they were going to kill him anyway?

The reveal about the cannibalism from the T.V. in the physical therapy room was unnecessary IMO since later you showed the pen and it was a bad way (I take you wanted us to know) to reveal it. Talk about covering your tracks.

Because the reveal was so early I thought the twist would be that it actually was all in his head.

And finally, I think it would have been more effective if organs were being wheeled away as the last scene instead of him (or what remained of him) being wheeled to the organ "thingy".

Hope this helps.