Hope of Faith by Boaz Asaasira - Drama - A 14 Year-old female child soldier in Northern Uganda, tries to run away from being a soldier and follow her acting dream.  52 pages - pdf, format 8)

Boaz, WOW, what a great story. I started reading this a few times but didn't get far because of your English. Today I was determined to read the entire script. I was glad I did. The story and the action was gripping and even brought me to tears a couple of times, which is great.

Your logline is what drew me to read the script. This is a subject that is of great interest to me. I have read about the child soldiers. You brought their plight to life, and for this I applaud you.

Just a few things to work on I noticed. Your sluglines are just a little bit off. It should be for instance: EXT. CITY - DAY   Also you use i as a pronoun should be "I".  These are minor things.

The major thing is to remember this is a script not a short story or novel. You have to show not tell in your action lines. You also spend too much time over describing scenes and characters, you can easily cut these down.

These are all easily fixable things. I applaud you again for undertaking a script in English. You did a very good job. There is a great story here. I hope anything I have said is helpful to you. Again loved the story, good luck.  Marvin.

Thanks Marvin