Sorry Gabriel, but no...no way.
You need to read books, articles, whatever you can get your hands on, on the art of screenwriting. There are so many things wrong on page 1 and your logline alone, it would take pages and pages of corrections.
Read scripts in here. Read the comments. See what works and what doesn't work, and why.
Don't give up, just start doing some research and learning. You'll be happy you did, once you get this shit down.
Keep at it!
First of all, I want to mention your logline. The first half of it is all you need Gabe.
"A group of outcast teens are suspicious of strange happenings in their small town school, decide to investigate and realize that things are much worse than they've expected"
That's it right there. It could be better still (I made the spelling correction), but all the rest that follows is a repeat, more or less, of what is already stated.
As Dream pointed out, the first page (with no title page) hits between the eyes. Not in a good way. I'll point out a few things:
Font. 12 point courier. I have heard some people say that they would hope for Times New Roman or, in your case, Monaco. But a courier font is the accepted norm.
It's very novel. Past tense action, unfilmmable (character's state of being, internal thoughts) Big blocks of text. Actions should be present tense. Consider what you have here on the first two pages to have a starting point. Now, here's what should be done first. Go through your ENTIRE SCRIPT which at this point should be regarded as an extreme rough draft. First, find ALL of your headers and do something like this:
INT. BASILE HIGH - NIGHT
This should be the header in that opening scene. There is a possble chance that there's a SUB HEAD in this scene as well. But I'm going to do you a favor. Let's just have a description of a wall clock. Just one. In any case, here's what you don't need: "School had been out for the last four hours." That's starting this off with something you are telling us, not showing us. It's also a given, unless there's a swim meet, basketball game or school dance, that the school is out for the evening. MR. WILL, as with all characters that are intro'd are in CAPS.
"Something doesn't seem right about
this stranger. He can't make out who it is. It appears to be
a cold dark shadow. Standing only a few feet away from him."
Take a good look at the first and last line and what is sandwiched in between. Ask yourself this question: what is "a few feet"? Let's back up.
"He walks to the door. Just as he starts to close it he
notices someone standing within the darkness of the
classroom."
MR. WILL
Who's there?
"Who" suggests that he does not see someone there, but only hears them. So the mystery person has to hide and he sees a glimpse, but his next line ("Come out") sounds a little better than 'Who's that' if he can "see" someone in the classroom. It should be noted that while he can turn out the hall lights, nothing prevents him from turning on the lights in the room itself. Mr. Will could flick the switch on, but the lights don't go on and that could be a reason for concern... But let's take this at face value anyway. After this description, it leaves the next description pointless, unless the "stranger" has his back to Mr. Will, but there is nothing to indicate this. The only narrative on page one after the above "someone in the classroom" that is needed as (re)written something like "He gets no answer. Mr. Will shivers". Concise, to the point.
Before you start editing on your grammar and spelling, help yourself in finding them by taking all of the blocks of narrative and breaking them down in three to four sentences like so:
He finishes turning off all the lights and starts to walk to
the exit. As he turns a corner of the hall he sees the same
figure again standing a few feet in front of him.
He drops his keys in a fearful jolt. As the dark figure stares at
him. It slowly starts to walk towards Mr. Will and he slowly
steps back.
Mr. Will starts to lose his breath and his heart
is racing faster and faster. Quickly tries to lift his
asthma inhaler to is mouth but drops it.
Mr. Will's breathing keeps getting harder and his heart keeps beating
faster soon he can't breath and is unable to calm
down.
He falls to the floor and reaches for this inhaler. As
he gets his hand over it, it suddenly slides further away.
He crawls towards it and reaches again but it again slides
away.
He is now suffocating, he keep gasping for air. He
attempts to get up but falls down on his back. His heart is
beating fast and hard.
As he stares up to the ceiling passing away the last thing he sees
in the figure standing over him.
You follow? Alright. Now it's easier to see what's what. What's the first thing that catches your eye? (Aside from my highlight) Spelling errors? You bet. Grammar problems? Spot on. How about repeated words and phrases?
Look at this possible solution:
He finishes turning off all the lights and walks towards
the exit. As he turns a corner of the hall he sees the same
figure in front of him.
He drops his keys in a fearful jolt. The dark figure stares
him down. It slowly walks towards Mr. Will who carefully
steps back.
Mr. Will loses his breath. He can hear his own heartbeat pound within him.
Takes out his asthma inhaler, brings it to his mouth but drops it.
Mr. Will gasps for air. He is unable to calm down.
He falls to the floor. Frantic, he snatches up the inhaler. It breaks from his grip, suddenly slides further away. He crawls towards it , reaches out. it again moves away, like it has a mind of its own..
He attempts to get up but falls down on his back. He hyperventilates. He passes out.
The figure stands over him.
That's not perfect, mind you, but that's the general idea. Some words are going to have to take the place of others to avoid repetition (beating, pounding, slowly) and some things rearranged or taken out completely to get your point across visually. Note how I wrote "He hears his heart beat" or something to that effect. That's important, as your intent is for ME to hear it. Now, if you really wanted you, you can cut that, too. Why?
Am I a doctor? Do I have a stethoscope?
But since this is a horror, and you have conveyed a supernatural event, you could do something really creative with that too if you wanted, and get away with it. Like what, you ask? Well, I know he can hear his heart pound away. How can I hear it? How about:
"Mr. Will loses his breath. He can hear his own heartbeat echo back to him all around the halls. His face fills with shock. Takes out his asthma inhaler, brings it to his mouth but drops it"
That's right! That would freak you out, wouldn't it? Not only is some figure after you in the dark (even if all you have to do is...well, you know) but your own sound of your heart beat bounces off metal lockers! Then objects move around by themselves!
And BAM!
INT. GAVIN'S HOUSE. BEDROOM - MORNING
With a buzz of an angry bee, an alarm clock wakes up GAVIN (17)...
I won't go over the script bit by bit, but I just wanted to give you a general idea of what some steps you can do to get to the next stage. It's going to take a bit of patience and time. But you can get better.
Whatever story you wanted to show is buried under the rubble. Chisel away and you'll be in better shape. Keep writing.
-DJS