A Working Man by Chris - Short, Comedy - After being fired Steve has trouble finding a new job.  After becoming desperate he is offered a life line. 14 pages - pdf, format 8)

Sorry, didn't get this one at all. Your first page alone is riddled with mistakes. Where's the title page btw? No need for the copyright footer.

This reads as if you just rushed through it. Where is the 'comedy'? Essex girls knickers?

Far too much dialouge and it's very much 'on the nose'. You could slice this script in half. You really need to go over this and tighten it up.

I agree with Eoin that it could/should be tightened up.    Especially with the action lines of the main character "staring" several times.  I think you could skip the entire action line of "staring, not knowing what to do" and just FADE/CUT TO the last scene after the line "what's it going to be?" for example.  Just a thought.

I feel that the good point is you have a character that most can identify with and root for (honest guy who needs a job).  It's certainly an interesting turn when he's offered a job in turn for killing someone.  So I felt you are hitting some basics which is always good.

It gives me the feel of an origin story.  As if this is the first act of a bigger story - just my feeling.  

Good luck in your future writing.