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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Action/Adventure Scripts  /  Cupid Can't Shoot Straight
Posted by: Don, December 9th, 2010, 8:29pm
Cupid Can't Shoot Straight. by Leonard Chitunhu (Marcus Gravy) - Action, Adventure - Cupid's near sightedness causes problems at work, especially when his daughter falls in love with a mortal. 94 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: kendg8r (Guest), December 10th, 2010, 8:38am; Reply: 1
I like the premise, and I think the structure of the opening sequence is smart.  I just kept tripping over the character names (too many "man" and "woman") and the overly specific ages for these presumably minor characters.

There's also a couple of minor typos (extra spacing on final line of pg 3, phrase "have to stop" is missing the word "to" in second jupiter line on pg 4, etc.) Also on pg 4, you have a joke about Cupid sniffing the air, but Jupiter replies that Cupid is smelling a... sound?  Didn't get it.

Any rate, as I said, it's a decent enough premise (a near-sighted Cupid!) that I'll save the pdf and give it a further reading when I'm not here at my day job.

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