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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort  /  Circus Slugline Help (was Max's Circus)
Posted by: Mr.Ripley, February 4th, 2011, 9:57am
Need help in writing slug lines for a circus being held outside in a park or large landscape.

How would you go by describing where the characters are? Or walking about?

Any help is appreciated
Gabe  
Posted by: Electric Dreamer, February 4th, 2011, 10:22am; Reply: 1
Posted by: bert, February 4th, 2011, 10:26am; Reply: 2
When you first describe the scene, you are setting up sluglines you can use later.

Think of introducing the locations you plan to use in the same way you think of setting up characters.

If you say something like:  "There is a large center ring surrounded by bleachers, with a snow cone stand off to the side, and beyond that, a large parking lot where the clowns are hanging out smoking cigarettes."

Then, later, you can use CENTER RING, SNOW CONE STAND, and PARKING LOT as sluglines without confusing the reader.
Posted by: Mr.Ripley, February 4th, 2011, 1:07pm; Reply: 3
Thanks guys.

E.D.

I did that. It's just...I don't know...maybe I'm making it to complicated for myself. I'll see what I can come up with.

Thanks Bert for the title edit.

So you suggest using an establishing shot? I'll see what I can do. That never came to mind.


Gabe
Posted by: 05c4r, February 4th, 2011, 1:24pm; Reply: 4
This is my amateur shot at it, since I wanted to help so badly and also to learn from others.

EXT. MAX'S CIRCUS - PARK - DAY

Diversity of people are gather around a magnificent large outdoor park. Clowns are juggling. Elephants are trumping. Kids are laughing.

CENTER RING

A lion tamer is preparing his whip.

something like that. I don't know :P
Posted by: Mr.Ripley, February 4th, 2011, 1:26pm; Reply: 5
Thanks O5c4r

The problem is that the circus is outside, open to the elements. It's not held inside one place.

Gabe
Posted by: Electric Dreamer, February 4th, 2011, 1:54pm; Reply: 6

Quoted from Mr.Ripley
E.D.

I did that. It's just...I don't know...maybe I'm making it to complicated for myself. I'll see what I can come up with.

Gabe


Hmm, well see if this "County Fair" search might give you more to choose from.

http://www.google.com/images?q=County+Fair&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=ibR&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&prmd=ivnsm&source=lnms&tbs=isch:1&ei=L0tMTYrxG4q4sAOwxIDACg&sa=X&oi=mode_link&ct=mode&cd=2&ved=0CBsQ_AUoAQ&biw=1280&bih=645

E.D.
Posted by: Mr.Ripley, February 4th, 2011, 2:28pm; Reply: 7
Thanks E.D.

I'm coming close to finishing a draft of the script and would soon ask at the WIP thread for any readers.

I think I'm experiencing a conflict between what I specifically see in my head vs. what I can write down on paper. I just have to balance thing out.

Thanks tho.
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