Raj. I tried. I really tried. But something about the short script just made be stop cold. I don't think you proofed this, not even a once over. A few grammar errors aside, there is a very bizarre deja vu on p6 and 8. It took me right out of the script. The two pages are nearly identical. It took me four or five times back and forth to make sure it wasn't an error. It was an error, having the scenes so close and almost word for word. What isn't an error is that, it is another day. But still, if you can't find another way to describe the scene, it's going to throw many out of the script same way it did me. Your next best bet is forget that second quiz and get to the library. But since you drew attention to it, I look at the headers now. Characters are walking EXT. SAME CLASS ROOM. While there are some schools that are like that (classrooms are buildings, but most "hallways" are outside of the buildings) I missed that part. But I can let that go; I can't let go of the fact that there are other classrooms however.
I'm really out of this.
But in the meantime, here's a few things that helped me bail:
Quoted Text He looks at the wall clock in his room that shows 9:00 am.
INT. OFFICE ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
The wall clock in the room shows 9:15 am. |
Since Mr. Plummer nor Rick mentions the clock being off by at least fifteen minutes, you have three options here, Raj.
They are: change "MOMENTS' to MINUTES or find another description, but don't mention the wall clock. The last one, of course, is by having Plummer saying 'Don't mind the clock. It's a few minutes fast' or something like that. True, it's still 15 minutes, but I'll work.
Quoted Text NICK (cont�d)
My father�s 50th birthday is
coming. You understand, 50th
birthday. I wanna give him a really
really good gift. Now a decent
laptop will at least cost $800. You
know I can�t afford that. So I need
your help this time. |
Some folks at SS have little nitpicks. Today, my number one pet peeve has reared it's ugly head. Symbols and abbreviations in dialog. In the case of $ it's more of an offense because an actor cannot speak it. I also noted a ton of italics here as well.In fact, here is exactly where I bailed.
Quoted Text RYAN
(upset)
I have already lost 10% by failing
those two quizzes. I have to make
sure that I score in the midterm. |
Don't be a lazy writer. write out percent.