Hello Brooklyn by Brandon Weber - Short, Drama, Romance - Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. 7 pages - pdf, format 8)

I liked it! I could see the scenes play out in my head, and it flowed very well. I think it could make a nice little short. I enjoy the premise of these two old lovers having one last fling before she ties the knot.

I can see how the film would intensify after the John anxiously waits for Kelly, the troubled but ole' familiar fight at the dinner, then exotic but passionate love making (climax), all to finally end with one question: Is she going to leave or is she going to stay? What's going on? Those were the questions going through my mind at least.

Overall I thought it was good.

Wow.  This was good.    A deep subject told very simple.    

You captured the emotion.   Nice and subtle.

I spotted a few typos and a couple spots of awkward phrasing.   Needs a proofread.   Other than that -- good job.

Read well overall. Premise is nicely literary. Good job on getting the reader/viewer involved. Nice ending, leaving the reader wondering if this really is the end for them. In my own twisted mentality, however, I'd probably go for a little more dramatic ending with John "getting even." For example, what if after she leaves in the taxi we cut to John in his bathroom. We see him putting the complete, unopened condom back in his wallet.  In other words, he didn't just make love to her, he screwed her, both literally and metaphorically. -Few other picky, yet important, items: does need a proofread. Put her name in CAPS first time she's introduced. Perhaps drop the hyphen in single-bed room. Also, in opening scene, with the word "room" mentioned in the scene heading, don't keep mentioning the word "room" in the action: it's redundant. All in all - nice!

Really liked this script. Interesting concept with deep emotional consequences. Is the author on this board and if not does anyone know a way to get in touch with him? I would be interested in producing/directing this. If anyone knows if Brandon Weber is on here please let me know.

There's a phone # on title page. Seems he is a film maker himself. Good luck.