Locksmith by Garry Hicks - Drama, Crime -  A career thief plans a simple heist perfectly, but breaks into the middle of a major sting operation on the city's largest,and most violent, drug war. 115 pages - pdf, format 8)

I read up to page 30.

I just want to say this is a nice effort and may have potential but there where a few too many things that hurt the reading experience.  I never got to know your characters because they were either on drug deals or opening safes.  But what about their personal lives?

Here are a few things that didn't work for me:

Opening a movie with a rape?... Even thought its revealed that it was actually not a rape its still kind of odd.  And I haven't seen what it was trying to set up so far.

What people are wearing isn't all that important to describe.  But if thats what you do then fine.  But putting ages like 25-30 is not something that is standard practice in 99% of screenplays.  Just say 30s or 20s or whatever.

Your characters keep saying each others names in your dialogue.  Maybe reduce that to as little as possible.

Who is the main character? Jimmy or Joey?  And you missed day or night in some of your slug lines.

I'm not trying to be harsh.  I just think the story needs a bit of work.