The Penguin by Sean Atkinson - Short - Penguin meets Batman. 3 pages - pdf, format 8)

The point of this one?

You have numerous errors that should have been addressed before submitting this. You introduce us to an 'unknown' character that we already know to be the Penguin. Then you actually introduce him as The Penguin, but still call him MAN in the script.

You have him speak w/o the proper character title. So dialogue just sits on the page randomly.

A few spelling errors, again this short would have benefitted from a spell check read through. It seems rushed for unknown reasons. Maybe you got this cool idea and wanted to write it down as quick as possible.

There is no story, just one character talking, letting us know about his backstory. The whole piece comes off as a teaser for something bigger? Again, all I would get from this is that it's Batman and The Penguin and nothing else.

Take off the CONTINUED on the top and bottom of the pages. Fade to black at end, instead of black.

Again, it's a page a bit of dialogue. Nothing more. Not enough for me to even really give you a decent write up. Why post this? I don't know. Fill me in please if you have answers.

in addition to what TUS said, you need to write in present tense. so "the zippo is snapped shut" turns into "the zippo snaps shut"

you need "CONT'D" when action is interjected between dialogue

i'm a little perplexed over this screenplay...and not in a good way. i'm having a hard time figuring out the point. As TUS posted, perhaps it's for a bigger project? if that were the case, then how would this differentiate from any of the other cartoons, comics, etc out there?