Odd Man Out by John Newman - Short, Drama - Travis learns the hard way that it's hard to keep a one-night stand a secret, especially when the one-night stand is your girlfriend's sister. 8 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hmmm...well...uhhh...

I'm clueless as to what is going on here.  Don't get it at all.

Way too many transitions going on.

Way too much passive writing.

Way too little story, being purposely told ambiguously.

I'd love to hear others thoughts on this...

Okay. A guy has a one night stand with his girlfriends slutty sister, who has no motive, other than a few glasses of wine. She then tells her sister and Susie and Travis break up. You try to make this interesting but reshuffling the sequence of events around, but the story just isn't entertaining. Sorry.