Does anyone  have any suggestions or ideas on how I can better improve this INTERCUT scene.  Although it's not revealed in this particular scene, and It will have people guessing.  She is sniffing  powder, and by her popping up into view, I was wondering if I introduced it properly?  Is it flowing right?  Did I properly use the INTERCUT method?  I'm already aware the margins are not correct... this is just a rough draft.

INT. - CURADOR - SYMPHONY’S OFFICE - DAY

Johan holding a  folder, and is excited. A purse and cell phone lay in the chair
near the bathroom door.

INT. - SYMPHONY’S OFFICE BATHROOM - SAME

Inside appears to be empty, total quietness.

INTERCUT - OFFICE/BATHROOM

            JOHAN
       (knocking on the door)
   Symphony... baby, hurry up. I got
   some good news.
  
The bathroom still appearing empty, up pops Symphony into
view. She’s startled.

            SYMPHONY
    I...I’ll be out in a minute.

She opens a drawer, and pushed something noisily inside.

            JOHAN
      You okay in there?

Symphony walks out of the bathroom.

            SYMPHONY
    Yeah... what’s going on?



Thanks,

Dawn

Something like this.  You don't really need the intercut in this example.

INT. - CURADOR - SYMPHONY’S OFFICE - DAY

Johan holding a  folder, and is excited. A purse and cell phone
lay on the chair near the bathroom door.
            
            JOHAN
       (knocking on the door)
   Symphony... baby, hurry up. I got
   some good news.

INT. - SYMPHONY’S OFFICE BATHROOM

Inside, appears to be empty, total quietness.  Symphony pops into
view. She’s startled.

            SYMPHONY
    I...I’ll be out in a minute.

She opens a drawer, and pushed something noisily inside.

INT. - SYMPHONY’S OFFICE

Johan hovers near the door.

            JOHAN
   I got some good news.
   You okay in there?

Symphony walks out of the bathroom.

            SYMPHONY
    Yeah... what’s going on?

Well, there are lots of problems going on here with what you posted, but to address your actual question about an intercut...

I always am against them, as to me they represent lazy writing.  For me, it's very confusing and just not necessary, but it appears to be OK, in how you formatted the actual intercut.

Otherwise, you have incorrect tenses being used, really awkward phrasing, poor grammar, pretty much all of it doesn't rad well, sorry to say.

Let's see what others have to say...

Thank you Mcornetto, for responding so quickly.  I was so focused on editing my question, and didn't realized I had a comment already.  Some times I can be a perfectionist.  Thanks again... I really like your suggestion.  

Quoted from Dreamscale Well, there are lots of problems going on here with what you posted, but to address your actual question about an intercut... I always am against them, as to me they represent lazy writing.  For me, it's very confusing and just not necessary, but it appears to be OK, in how you formatted the actual intercut. Otherwise, you have incorrect tenses being used, really awkward phrasing, poor grammar, pretty much all of it doesn't rad well, sorry to say. Let's see what others have to say...

Thank you Dreamscale...  However in this world, in a normal conversation... most people talk in incomplete sentences and not so perfect grammar.  Thank you though.  

I'm not talking about your dialogue in any way.  I'm referring to your action/description lines.

Quoted from Dreamscale I'm not talking about your dialogue in any way.  I'm referring to your action/description lines.

I thought about it last night while I attempted sleep, and I do have to agree with you.  Please do not misconstrued what I'm about to say as a threat because I did not get that upset.  
When writing my action/description... my primary job (911-Operator) tends to come into play.  It's straight to the point, and literally no if, and, buts about it.  For example:  Man stabbed in chest with scissors vs. Someone stabbed a man in his chest, using a pair of scissors.  I guess I was trying to be a little too lean in my writing.  
So far I have written 36 pages.  I do plan on going back and making those corrections ASAP.  I apologize for getting too defensive because I can handle constructive criticism.

Thanks,

Dawn  :)

Hey Dawn -

Total non-sequiteur here...but nice icon!  :)

Welcome to the boards...

--WV (J)